Venting Why is talking to people so hard?

[sadidiot0328]

I'm autistic so that probably is why, but it just feels so difficult. I have no idea how to keep a conversation going in person or online. It's as if Im playing the most difficult game ever but with no manual to help. I wish I was neurotypical.

 

[sdansht]

Me too. Very often, in the middle of a conversation I go numb, I don't know what to say and we both end up being quiet for a while until the other person starts speaking. I'm also very boring, I think I lost the ability of having interesting and engaging conversations quite a while ago.

 

[AmericanMary]

I'm autistic so that probably is why, but it just feels so difficult. I have no idea how to keep a conversation going in person or online. It's as if Im playing the most difficult game ever but with no manual to help. I wish I was neurotypical.

Honestly same.

Recently I have been becoming a little TOO self aware & have figured out that my communication issues absolutely are a fault of my parents. I've always thought my parents were perfect. They've never laid a hand on me. But for ex: I got yelled at as a kid for confronting a bully. I told my parents about a family member trying to have intercourse with me & was told to not tell anyone.

Boom. Realizing the "why" in everything is hard.

Your feelings about struggling with communication are so valid. It can be very hard. Even a basic conversation that most wouldn't blink an eye over. You're strong for opening up about this.

 

[sadidiot0328]

Me too. Very often, in the middle of a conversation I go numb, I don't know what to say and we both end up being quiet for a while until the other person starts speaking. I'm also very boring, I think I lost the ability of having interesting and engaging conversations quite a while ago.

Same here, I go quiet/shut down and silently panic because I don't know how to move forward in the conversation. Or it ends awkwardly and I kick myself later for it.

Honestly same.

Recently I have been becoming a little TOO self aware & have figured out that my communication issues absolutely are a fault of my parents. I've always thought my parents were perfect. They've never laid a hand on me. But for ex: I got yelled at as a kid for confronting a bully. I told my parents about a family member trying to have intercourse with me & was told to not tell anyone.

Boom. Realizing the "why" in everything is hard.

Your feelings about struggling with communication are so valid. It can be very hard. Even a basic conversation that most wouldn't blink an eye over. You're strong for opening up about this.

Thank you for the kind words, it's hard to open up about it other places but I feel like people understand here and aren't judgemental. Thank you again :)

 

[sorrowful]

Schizotypal and selective mutism are my tormentors. I do not know how to engage with people either, quite literally forget every single social skill ever. Head goes blank and I shut down, then comes the wave of nausea. Can't get a singular word out of my mouth. For this I tend to avoid relationships, or going outside so I do not have any chance of getting dragged into conversation. If anything, I prefer texting since it gets rid of the selective mutism aspect, and it'll give me more time to think of an appropriate reply. But, there is still the issue of just..not connecting with people. I don't feel like I can relate to anyone, even if we do share similar traits. I will always feel alienated and like a complete outsider. Some sort of anomaly. If I do go through the trouble of building connections, they are plagued by a swift and inexplicable disgust, I end up despising them almost simultaneously. In the end it all spirals into complete regret and further self-isolation.

 

[fleetingnight]

I rly wish I knew. Your explanation put it really well, it's like everyone else got a "how to talk normally" manual but me, and now they're mad at me for not readin it. People (especially NTs, they're bad at this) need to do better and have some compassion for ppl who have a hard time talking. It shouldn't be so hard to see that someone's doing their best and have a little more patience for them.