Venting Loneliness is eating me alive

[degreesoflewdity]

No irl friends, i never leave my house and when i do its to the front of my house or i walk 2 minutes to the corner store and say hi and thank you to the clerk and spend less than a minute in the tiny store. I dont go to school, i dont study i dont do anything. and for some reason its hard for me to make friends, even online. how do people make friends online? it used to be so easy for me to now its complicated. they're all either busy or dont even know how to hold a conversation. i dont even have anything to talk about except my past, myself, my interests or themselves. I mean, it's because i dont do anything. like, i genuinely dont leave my house. the days pass by like a blur. i barely check the date anymore, why would i? nothing is going to happen and i dont have anything i'll do. it feels like a loop. i wake up, eat breakfast, clean, lay in bed or sit in a chair and then i shower, lay in bed for the rest of the night and sleep until late. what a life !!!

 

[Secro]

I feel you, I haven't even known what month it is for the last few years.

 

[LastNite]

Thats what ive been doing for the past year lol. It's a boring never ending loop of hell. I gave up on finding friends, Im not capable of being social. I try to leave my house but I end up not going. I try to convince myself that it'll get better but Im just fucking my life on purpose. I have set some goals for myself but havent really finished any of them yet. Something as simple as getting my drivers permit feels like hell. I hope you get out of this cycle.

I feel you, I haven't even known what month it is for the last few years.

I keep up with the months but always forget what day it is because I have nothing to do so I never really bother to know what day it is.

 

[MessyNonsense]

Trying to make friends on purpose is hard. In my experience the best friends i've had have been people who i was spending time under some pretense, ie because there was something we were doing together some goal we were working towards other than actively trying to be friends for the sake of being friends. Often we were part of a group but not always. For example i found sites and discord groups centered around my interests and made my friends there, but not by actually trying to make friends. This goes for irl friends too, i made a friend just by asking everbody in all my classes at school if they were interested in joining a club with me and like 3 people were interested and one of those three ended up being my friend for years. Good guy. The being friends part always came about gradually and naturally because i was spending time on a regular basis with people who i shared things in common with. I know, eaiser said than done to let friendship happen slowly and organically, especially when one is desparate. God knows my desparation to make friends has sabotaged many a potential friendship. It's a numbers game, and a patience game, and a being-secure-with-yourself-first game, cliche as it sounds it's true.

Not enough people know that zoochosis (the condition that often affects wild animals in captivity) can literally affect humans too. We're animals. If you confined a chimp indoors and away from other chimps and gave it flourescent lighting and no "enrichment" in its enclosure, you'd expect it to go fucking crazy wouldn't you? Now think about how millions of people are living that way and yet we don't realize why we're so miserable.

 

[unluckysadness]

Same. I'm forced to live like an hermit because of several reasons.

 

[kunikuzushi]

i know exactly what you mean. i lived like this for 7 years and it was pure torture. i felt like i was going insane. i still feel like this even though I'm able to go out sometimes.

i know it's so difficult. sending you comfort and hugs.

 

[degreesoflewdity]

i know exactly what you mean. i lived like this for 7 years and it was pure torture. i felt like i was going insane. i still feel like this even though I'm able to go out sometimes.

i know it's so difficult. sending you comfort and hugs.

thank you, i hope you are well too!

 

[funhaver63]

I have no idea how to make new friends anymore, but in the past when I was able to make friends online I kinda just had to be (in retrospect) a bit annoyingly persistent while not being afraid to put myself out there or make a fool of myself. I also haven't really made friends in person without someone else I already know facilitating the experience for me, but I imagine that the same process would be true for making friends in real life. That being said, I've become much more anxious in the past few years which makes it a million times harder to do this. Also I get what you mean when you say it seems like a lot of people online (especially in discord servers) just don't really know how to hold conversations. I don't want to seem condescending, especially because I feel like I'm in the same boat as you, but sadly it seems like the only way to make real friends is to put yourself out there :c

I hope you can find relief in yr life <33