Venting Why is it so hard to drink sn?

[ceelobling]

I was going to drink my sn today in my room but for some reason I didn't do it. I prepped for today and took my antiemetic but when I picked up my jar of sn drink I was unable to. It's not even hesitation, I prepared for today and was set on it. I'm already done with this life and I hate existing. I held the jar of sn drink in my hand and just kept staring at it. I also kept tapping the glass jar like what am I waiting for, why don't I drink it? I was literally staring at it inches away from my face, my out was right there. It seems so simple to just drink it. Why is it easier for other people to just drink it? I wasn't going to make a goodbye thread, because I don't care about that and my only focus is to die, and I don't feel like typing stuff. Maybe making a goodbye thread would've pushed me and made it easier to just drink the sn. I don't even know what I'm going to do anymore. I couldn't even bring myself to drink this shit. But imagining continuing to live on a daily basis sounds like torture. I can't take this anymore. Fuck existence.

 

[ihateittoo]

our brains are hardwired to NOT kill ourselves. Its your survival instinct, or SI as its called here. It is really hard to overcome, It has stopped me countless times.

 

[Lost in a Nightmare]

I've been in the same place you are with SN, except it was back in January of 2024 and I was using a wine glass. I almost had it to my lips but couldn't drink it. Sometimes I wish I had, but other times I don't, it really is weird. Perhaps Survival instinct just got in the way and that's all it was, but if not, perhaps you have something you want to live for still? I don't know what to suggest because I too am jealous of people who manage to go through with their plans. It truly does take more courage to exit life than most people give it credit for, which means doing so is ANYTHING but cowardly.

Maybe SN isn't the right method for you and something better might come along. I really don't know what to suggest. All I can say for sure is I understand what it's like.

 

[SkeletonFlower96]

i tasted a little bit of SN last night, like just moistened my lips with it.

 

[Chabrychek]

I was going to drink my sn today in my room but for some reason I didn't do it. I prepped for today and took my antiemetic but when I picked up my jar of sn drink I was unable to. It's not even hesitation, I prepared for today and was set on it. I'm already done with this life and I hate existing. I held the jar of sn drink in my hand and just kept staring at it. I also kept tapping the glass jar like what am I waiting for, why don't I drink it? I was literally staring at it inches away from my face, my out was right there. It seems so simple to just drink it. Why is it easier for other people to just drink it? I wasn't going to make a goodbye thread, because I don't care about that and my only focus is to die, and I don't feel like typing stuff. Maybe making a goodbye thread would've pushed me and made it easier to just drink the sn. I don't even know what I'm going to do anymore. I couldn't even bring myself to drink this shit. But imagining continuing to live on a daily basis sounds like torture. I can't take this anymore. Fuck existence.

You must be in a very impulsive state, perhaps after a recent, severe misfortune, an intense experience. I was in that state, and I was closest to suicide than I'd ever been. It must be that impulsive state, I don't think that strong will is enough

 

[Nat.]

You can always try again if that's what you want, and if you discover that you don't want to, that's okay too. I'm sorry for all the pain you are feeling.

 

[abcdefg789]

I was going to drink my sn today in my room but for some reason I didn't do it. I prepped for today and took my antiemetic but when I picked up my jar of sn drink I was unable to. It's not even hesitation, I prepared for today and was set on it. I'm already done with this life and I hate existing. I held the jar of sn drink in my hand and just kept staring at it. I also kept tapping the glass jar like what am I waiting for, why don't I drink it? I was literally staring at it inches away from my face, my out was right there. It seems so simple to just drink it. Why is it easier for other people to just drink it? I wasn't going to make a goodbye thread, because I don't care about that and my only focus is to die, and I don't feel like typing stuff. Maybe making a goodbye thread would've pushed me and made it easier to just drink the sn. I don't even know what I'm going to do anymore. I couldn't even bring myself to drink this shit. But imagining continuing to live on a daily basis sounds like torture. I can't take this anymore. Fuck existence.

Had the same problem standing at a trainline myself.

 

[squidcat]

how are you guys getting SN? I can't find it anywhere.

 

[TJT]

Had the same problem standing at a trainline myself.

Tbh probably for the best, that would be a brutal way to go.

Although I did see a video of some guy that like, ran back, got in a whole runner's pose, ran forward, then like jumped in a way that it was like doing a jumping jack in the air in front of the train. But... it'd really only be a 'quick' death if it's a bullet train. A lot of train suicides I've heard they get dragged under and it can be a quite slow and painful death. Would not recommend. One of my old friends was the guy who'd drive a train and someone was sitting on the rails. They were dragged for 3 miles while the train was trying to stop. Or so I was told. He had pictures, which he shared without thinking to ask if I wanted to actually see them... Scarring moment.

 

[luna674]

I was going to drink my sn today in my room but for some reason I didn't do it. I prepped for today and took my antiemetic but when I picked up my jar of sn drink I was unable to. It's not even hesitation, I prepared for today and was set on it. I'm already done with this life and I hate existing. I held the jar of sn drink in my hand and just kept staring at it. I also kept tapping the glass jar like what am I waiting for, why don't I drink it? I was literally staring at it inches away from my face, my out was right there. It seems so simple to just drink it. Why is it easier for other people to just drink it? I wasn't going to make a goodbye thread, because I don't care about that and my only focus is to die, and I don't feel like typing stuff. Maybe making a goodbye thread would've pushed me and made it easier to just drink the sn. I don't even know what I'm going to do anymore. I couldn't even bring myself to drink this shit. But imagining continuing to live on a daily basis sounds like torture. I can't take this anymore. Fuck existence.

Same thing happened to me don't be hard on yourself and don't make the mistake I did I thought I was going to take little sips.i took one then changed my mind.it made me really sick and took hours to kick in I was in pain and threw up.also got hospitalized not fun don't recommend

 

[Penelope12]

I'm just afraid of being found again and taken to the hospital

 

[Broken Chimera]

I just learned how hard it is to follow through. At least I know it's effective.