Story No reason to continue after relationship ended

[bloodyend]

This is it, my reason for living just went away. my relationship ended today. she was my biggest reason for living and why i worked so hard for my career.

me and her both struggled alot with mental health and suicidal ideations and we knew that from the beginning. we both tried so hard but i guess everything caught up.
today she said she doesnt want to be my gf anymore and i dont blame her for that.
she couldnt be the person i needed/wanted her to be and i couldnt be the boyfriend she needed me to be.
i ruined everything with the girl of my dreams all because i was impatient and overall fucked in my head.

i signed a really good contract for work today untill the end of the year wich requires me to stay in a hotel, so i have decided to become an alcoholic and drink all day in my room and just sh.

i will end myself on march 13th because that would be our anniversary.

i just hope she knows how much i truly loved her and that i'd do anything in the world to have her in my arms.
and the reason i cant is because im just mentally not capable of being a good boyfriend or have the sympathy and empathy to know shes absolutely doing her best. if i was her i wouldnt want to date myself too.

this is my bloody end i guess. i hope to see her in another life. goodbye my dear sweetheart <3

 

[Gracy]

March 13th is a long while from now, maybe time will make it better, maybe not, only one way to know.