Venting Why haven’t you done it yet?

[mafuyu]

There are no ways for a person like me to succeed.

I'm 26 and I can't drive, and I haven't worked in 5 years. I was married, but I'm in the middle of getting divorced which means I'm about to lose my insurance. Too bad my tooth just began hurting too… My ex has been kind enough to let me stay where she lives in the basement until next year, and then I need to be out. But I live in the Midwest America, and I can't drive, nor do I have a car if I could. I don't have a job because there's no way I can get to most jobs.

I don't know how people did it back in the times of like the Great Depression. What kept them going? And what has failed to keep so many of us going? What is the fundamental difference? Is it brain chemistry? Some of us were set up for failure. It is genuinely a fluke that I even got this far. All things considered, I shouldn't have.

Even with people who care about me, and someone who seems to love me, and I love them, it feels like I will never be able to accomplish the basic things in life, and therefore, I should just die. I mean, it's not like I'm doing anything for society. Humans always move on.

 

[100memoryleaks]

false hopes. false hopes kept me going. stupid false hopes.

 

[instormdrains]

I think suicide rates spike in the great depression. I remember in history class that people who had money in the bank lost every dollar they put there and many people killed themselves after finding out.

I haven't killed myself because I love God and its also very hard to get the courage to jump off a building or cliff

 

[mafuyu]

false hopes. false hopes kept me going. stupid false hopes.

Genuinely, fuck hope. Sure, having it might give some purpose, until it all falls through. That's even worse.

I think suicide rates spike in the great depression. I remember in history class that people who had money in the bank lost every dollar they put there and many people killed themselves after finding out.

I haven't killed myself because I love God and its also very hard to get the courage to jump off a building or cliff

Oh, I definitely get you. I was high up, looking off a ledge before, and I realized that wasn't even nearly as high as I needed to be. Like, if I was already feeling bad. It's different saying you'll do something versus actually being there.

 

[Passenger4224]

I had to work on eliminating my false hopes first. I only just recently completed that task.

 

[walsun]

just the research and the logistics part of it all.
hoping to CTB within the next 4 months.

 

[sadbh]

Being bad at strangling myself gotta change methods, I think.

 

[oilsaniok]

world cup

 

[emptymiku]

i don't know, maybe it's the false hope.

also, hey mafuyu.

 

[Jadeith]

Duties. Gotta take care of my parents as they are getting old. Besides they do not deserve to bury their child. Also got offspring which must reach independence before i can put myself to rest.

 

[coyote1323]

research. possibly finding a partner...whether a future fp or a ctb pact. some loose ends as well.

 

[passthisnote]

im planning to ctb in 8 months right before i turn 20 cuz i want to enjoy being 19 still

 

[AltercatingVoices]

Purely SI. Have a method, timeframe, right conditions, etc. but still can't go through with it. Only seem to delay it even if I have no hope

 

[ilovecats1]

i dont know why i wanna do it actually... i have a chance at a job in a few months and im waiting for that. if i cant it will set me back two more years and i need to save a lot more money for my surgeries and i dont think if i can wait two more years just to start saving so its more like 4-5 years setback. but even before this ive been lurking on this forum since like 2022 i think and i at times like this just the thought of cbt makes me feel a lot more happier. basically its all up to how im going to do at the exam that decides if you can work at a government hospital in october.