caution: engrish
my first 2 suicide attempts of paracetamol overdose failed spectacularly. no lasting liver damage supposedly. only lose some hair that has already regrown. full recovery. both attempts were from a year ago
fast forward 3 months ago, procured sodium nitrite for the 3rd try. somewhere along the line learned that SN juice might give me tummy pain, nausea and other discomfort. (generally not a lot of research) not that i hadnt experienced those with paracetamol overdose.
strangely, chickened out after mixing a jug of SN goodness, not consuming it and ended up wasting that batch
had a plan going where i place myself into a financial vice grip where id run out of savings and be pressured to drink SN elixir out of desperation
idled for months until today. with my funds steadily depleting, the stress to do the deed is building along. used the time to kinda check things off my bucket list, had fun.
now comes my question. i would not want to admit that im afraid to die now but this line of reasoning checks out. why is it that im so gung ho with gulping down paracetamol tablets but not with SN juice? i should add that i feel no attachment towards living for the few good times to come. ive had enough.
what the fucj is wrong with me? what is the problem? am i in denial?
my first 2 suicide attempts of paracetamol overdose failed spectacularly. no lasting liver damage supposedly. only lose some hair that has already regrown. full recovery. both attempts were from a year ago
fast forward 3 months ago, procured sodium nitrite for the 3rd try. somewhere along the line learned that SN juice might give me tummy pain, nausea and other discomfort. (generally not a lot of research) not that i hadnt experienced those with paracetamol overdose.
strangely, chickened out after mixing a jug of SN goodness, not consuming it and ended up wasting that batch
had a plan going where i place myself into a financial vice grip where id run out of savings and be pressured to drink SN elixir out of desperation
idled for months until today. with my funds steadily depleting, the stress to do the deed is building along. used the time to kinda check things off my bucket list, had fun.
now comes my question. i would not want to admit that im afraid to die now but this line of reasoning checks out. why is it that im so gung ho with gulping down paracetamol tablets but not with SN juice? i should add that i feel no attachment towards living for the few good times to come. ive had enough.
what the fucj is wrong with me? what is the problem? am i in denial?
