Discussion Why do you want to die?

[Corpse_in_a_dress]

tbh i just dont feel all there. I can feel emotions but life's to hard to navigate i have the constant fear that ive gone insane and i hate myself and feel cripplingly anxious i get constant intrusive thoughts its just unbearable

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The main reason is that I don't see myself ever feeling satisfied in life because no matter how hard I work or what good fortune might come my way, I know that I'm just going to sabotage it because I love making myself miserable at inopportune times but also my luck is just so atrocious that it's not worth waiting for a miracle to happen because it's just so unlikely.

I realize that the main hurdle I'd have to overcome in order to stop wanting to die is that I'd have to stop loathing myself but frankly, I refuse to do so because fuck that guy. He ruined my life so why should I bother to let him get away with happiness?

Also, even if I did somehow recover and become happy with myself that would just be even worse for the world as a whole because I would just become an even more selfish asshole and egregiously consume resources that could go to much more deserving people (basically almost anyone who isn't me).

 

[Grumpy Bear]

A vast multitude of reasons which outweigh the will to live. Here are the highlights: I'm handicapped, I've made all the wrong choices, very few people are honest and kind, guilt, it's something I've considered over half my life, a shitty society, and a dying planet.

 

[plastic]

I want to die because this civilization sucks and there is no hope for a better tomorrow. I don't want to be a part of that horror, I don't have any options in life, all the doors are closed to me, and I'm not interested in it anymore.

 

[sadbadpsychogirl]

life has become a chore. i'm losing my mind, i'm old...

 

[END21_22]

Tired of life, ugly, barely made it out of high school, socially inept, always been an outcast, and most importantly I'm 27 years old and I have had nothing even remotely close to a relationship, girls have made it known they're too good for me, and I get it I'm a loser and all, just sucks having to endure the psychological and mental effects of pure loneliness and longing for something that is so very important to human beings.

 

[Nolife33]

Because life is only temporary why not end it faster for for eternal bliss

 

[Hans Voralberg]

1. My parents are both from alcoholic families and they never lernt me how to be in a relation with other person because they don't have such knowleadge ( severe emotional patology in their parents houses.)
2. 7 years of several mental abuse from my father he treated me like a slave. Talked to me that I'm worthless punk and even tried to stop me from graduate my high school and go to colleage by making fights between my finall exams.
3. 7 years constant use of pornography to sedate my emotions and pass all exames and many school contests. I won all of them if they were bond with my literature classes. I was academic superhero.It is like narcotic you don't feel any pain, get hyperfocused even reach euphoria at some points. I was invincible I saw horrible things and can't live with it. Please save your childrens from my fate because this addiction is worse than death. I'm a good man who saw too much in his life.
4. I feel emotionally disconected from this world. I can't build a relationship with any girl. I can only build strong friendships. People like me very much but I feel I am unlovable at current state of the world.I will never have family, kids, wife to love.
5 I have partial cerberal palsy. Right half of my body have paresis and I have asthma most of my childhood was spend in hospitals andI fought to rehabilitate my body and walk normal or even talk.
6 I never will be able to build muscular figure or gain any more physical atractiveness. I had just normal body and my mom always tell me I'm too fat and I feel very bad with it.
7I'm hypersexual I feel physicaly and emotionally hungry of other human. I know at some point of my live sooner than later I will pay for sex. I'm psychological ready for this moment but I don't want to die because of AIDS in the proces. I plan to do evrything to save myself from STD during this but CTB is my exit plan in case of that.

My life wasn't worthless. I save my friend from suicide last New Years Eve. I save one girl from abusive relationship and helped her stay at law studies helping her with PTSD after what her ex boyfriend did to her. She plans to be a police oficer in the future I wish her that. I won nearly 30 school, interschool literature contests and even one poetry contest on national level. I even wrote one constitutional law article which was published. Last but not least president of my town gave my prize for my scholar achievements. I did my best but I still feel lonely, anxious and in pain.

 

[drune11]

Because life is only temporary why not end it faster for for eternal bliss

This sounds like something a poorly written RPG character would say

 

[FuneralCry]

I want to die as I want nothing to do with life. Life is the cause of all suffering. For me the problem is life itself. I was perfectly fine not existing until I was forced to live. Life is horrible, there is no limit as to how bad things can get. If I ctb I am preventing decades of meaningless suffering. When I die I will be at peace and free from this awful existence. For me there is nothing good about being alive, there is only pain. I am not meant for this world. Our bodies are capable of torturing us to great extents. To me suicide is the only thing that makes sense.

 

[Beeper]

I was born with an incurable brain disease that causes abnormal shifts in mood and energy levels.

It has always been a struggle to deal with, though it has become more challenging as I get older.

Any semblance of "normal" in my life has been destroyed by manic psychosis. With each episode it has become more difficult to rebuild my psyche.

In a capitalist society the people who cannot compete are thrown to the side. My existence has no value to those outside of family and a few friends.

Even though I have a disabling brain disease, the societal safety net has not yet considered me as being eligible for support. I am expected to just pick up the pieces and get another job.

One of the biggest challenges for me is that work stress exacerbates my mental health challenges.

I may be able to "get well" during periods of unemployment, but when I start working my mental health deteriorates. I end up having another episode and losing my job. Rinse and repeat.

I have always wished for some means of help for those like myself. Supported employment, financial assistance, viable treatment and compassion for the afflicted.

What I have realized is that we have a broken and disjointed "system of care". An over-reliance on medication to treat symptoms with no means to provide a cure. An inability to determine and develop ways to allow people to live with dignity.

I have so much anxiety about my future. What am I supposed to do? I feel like crawling into a cave and withering away while the rest of the tribe continues on without me.

 

[apathetic.]

The past childhood wasn't good (physical abuse), the present not good either (emotional abuse), the future seems doom and gloom

Relatable

 

[Scribble Fan]

1. Bad childhood. My parents were physically and mentally abusive. We kept on moving, never had a proper home or long lasting friendships. My classmates thought I was a loser and I was made an outcast.

2. No social skills. I withdrew from everyone my whole life, I'm so fucking lonely but I never learned how to communicate properly.

3. Mental illnesses and nonexistent self-esteem. I have PTSD, anxiety, and depression. They make life a living hell.

 

[ihatemylife]

Health condition along with the financial drain it has caused. That combination creates an inescapable nightmare. This world is a scary, horrible, cruel and hopeless place that will only get worse as time goes by.

 

[Idontrecognizemyself]

It comes and goes, but I especially want to die when my dissociation or general euphoria get really severe. I think those are the times of my most clarity, where I see (in one direction or the other, same realization) that nothing I do matters, there are no repercussions, and It feels inescapable. I need to get out.

 

[After Life]

Cause everthing i do just gose wrong , this life dosent feel real to me anymore just feel like i am cursed in a bad way. get up go to work eat meds go to sleep repeat day in day out, been let down by people i trusted more then once . every step i take feels wrong .loneliness has become a good friend to me in a bad way just want to shut my eyes and vanish into the dark and lose consciousness.

 

[Dear Agony]

I simply serve no purpose in a capitalist society with my crippling mental illnesses + there's no point in living if I know my pain won't end, I'll just continue to live in agony and no good moments will make that even slightly worth it.

 

[Ky204]

When I realized I was more scared of living than I was of dying. The feeling of losing a bit of yourself everyday and hardly being able to recognize who you used to be is brutal. This life doesn't feel like reality anymore and instead like a living nightmare that only death can cure.

 

[Belljar]

Impending legal issues and enormous debt with interest i cannot declare bankruptcy on. Lifetime of isolation and abuse...only social contact was abusive online spaces or men using me for casual sex and treating me like garbage. No real work history. Family is all mentally ill and poor and isolated. Worst part I brought this all on myself by acting compulsively against my better judgment. I ruined my own life until the only escape is ctb.

 

[SamuelClemens400]

Well, I am generally disgusted with myself and am angry I cant be better, but the most important contributor is that I dont have anyone who cares. For years I have been progressively feeling more and more alone but as of today I know for sure that I am completely and utterly alone. My mother says she loves me but her actions show otherwise, like never speaking to me unless I talk to her first. Then there is my best friend or I guess former because today we ceased being that because he couldnt be there for me and he was literally the only reason I was still alive. Anyone else I know will not initiate a conversation so I describe them as friends when its convenient. With anyone that I care about never caring about me why even bother?

 

[waterstrider]

Too much pressure, mental illness & nobody who cares about me.

 

[Unicornsrnot4dislife]

I'm new and wanted a way into the forum posting so here goes……
For the last four years my world has felt like one long dream and a cascade of negative emotions that eat away at me. I say emotions, but most of the time I feel numb.
I have depression, EUPD and PTSD that together with several griefs, has left me not for this world. I also have negative thoughts about myself and believe that I am bad for everyone around me. I just want peace and to be with my mum again in heaven. To see her face and to give her a hug. To have good times again and to be me again in another life.
I had an attempted overdose when I was 16, but I was too crap to actually kill myself. Two years ago I tried hanging but again didn't work. X

 

[Nolife33]

Mental illness and no future

 

[Hangman]

Loneliness, lack of vitality and drive, social and mental problems, ashamed of what I have become. Future seems bleak. Almost no chance of getting children.

 

[Fadeawaaaay]

Extreme apathy. Due to a sense of extreme entitlement, I want to be Extremely wealthy and living a life of amusement and leisure. Anything less, including some type of a "real job," does not interest me. I've been given every possible opportunity and privilege in life And squandered them. So I really just want to hit the reset button and start over. Yes, I know this is preposterous… But it's how I feel.