I just got a shitty hand in life. Severe social anxiety disorder for my whole life, depression since I hit puberty, incurable vision impairment that makes me look weird, ugly face, fat, stupid, no friends, no real extended family, talentless, boring, broke... Plus the world is falling apart at the hands of a few elites who make everyone else wageslave for 45 years, and its only getting worse.
I think ctb is the only relief for me. It's either ctb or wait another 30 years just to keep watching my life go farther downhill. I'd rather go out with some preparation and dignity at least.