I ask myself most days. Today is just another day. What good was Accomplished by being here another day? I wish for release from this life. I want to not wake up to face another day.
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Raskolnikov's Axe
Member
- Aug 31, 2022
- 80
The mornings are the toughest to face, are they not?
Oh you are so right. Evenings at least I can say I got through the bs of another day.
theboy
Illuminated
- Jul 15, 2022
- 3,142
Tmbass
Member
- Jun 5, 2022
- 25
Yeah, genuinely can't remember a day I got into bed and though 'that was worth it'. Then we have to wake up and do it all over again, ugh.
ClownMe
Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
- Apr 7, 2021
- 20,561
For me personally, I do it for the sake of my dog. Once he's gone I don't know how ill be able to function day to day.
Completely understand and feel the same. For me, I feel like I 'can't' end it while my Dad is still alive. Of course- I could- but for the time being, the guilt and worry I have over doing that to him outweighs my need- although it's getting harder and harder.
Honestly, it's just terrible. He wants to live as long as possible. He wakes up grateful to be alive. I wake up and HATE the fact that I'm still here. He said the other day- he might live another 10 years. Obviously- I want him to for him and I know I'm going to be devastated to loose him. Still- the selfish part of me thought- I don't know how I'm going to cope with another 10 years. (If he's right). It's monstrous to wish for anything else- I know. I'm just so sick of this life.
Honestly, it's just terrible. He wants to live as long as possible. He wakes up grateful to be alive. I wake up and HATE the fact that I'm still here. He said the other day- he might live another 10 years. Obviously- I want him to for him and I know I'm going to be devastated to loose him. Still- the selfish part of me thought- I don't know how I'm going to cope with another 10 years. (If he's right). It's monstrous to wish for anything else- I know. I'm just so sick of this life.
StolenLife
Warlock
- Sep 19, 2022
- 740
Waking up in the cold dreary morning after having a beautiful dream is the worst.
FuneralCry
Just wanting some peace
- Sep 24, 2020
- 43,137
It does sound ideal to peacefully pass away and be free from this life. I've always seen existence as only being a negative thing as we are trapped with our own thoughts with no real relief from ourselves. There are an unlimited amount of ways in which life can torture us and no limit to the horrible experiences that humans go through. Existence is just a cruel mistake, it's a tragedy how life is even a thing in the first place. There is no benefit or nothing to be gained from being alive, there are only disadvantages that would have all been prevented by never being born in the first place.
'Daily Torment' is an apt description, I didn't think it was possible(for me)to be so uniformly depressed like this all the time
makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,029
I curse the universe or God every time I awaken to draw breath another day. The only reason I'm here now is that I bought sodium nitrate instead of sodium nitrite. Now I have to reset my escape plan, to obtain s nitrite. I have a limited time span, as my money cannot last much longer. I have a 45 cal not single shot deringer, but I didn't want to use it for fear of brain damage and failure to ctb. I wish someone would send me an sn source in the USA. Love to all here.
I put up with it due to fear of physical pain. It really is that pathetic. I don't think I can do it much longer though. I'm trying to be philosophical about the physical pain- people die in pain and at times agony every day so what makes me so special that I shouldn't?? But yeah, that's been the crux of it so far x
hopelessgirl
Mage
- Oct 12, 2021
- 512
I just live for the food haha and dreaming about weed. Also my dog
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hopelessgirl
Mage
- Oct 12, 2021
- 512
makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,029
The only reason is because of my parents. I don't want to hurt them. Otherwise I would do it today.
onlyanimalsaregood
Unlovable 💔 Rest in peace CommitSudoku 🤍
- Mar 11, 2022
- 1,329
blue_muse
Mage
- Jan 31, 2021
- 553
I've been doing it for the wrong people, which is just as well because in order to fly I must die. There are too many anchors (people) holding me down for their own selfish needs, without ever really considering mine.
makethepainstop
Visionary
- Sep 16, 2022
- 2,029
In in the same position, I am a convenience for some damnable family members.
