Venting I think I'm ready

[BloodStainedAntlers]

I've been wanting to go for so long. I think I'm finally ready. I'm a bit afraid because there is someone in my life who will contact psychological emergency services if they suspect that I'll attempt, but I want to end it so bad. The urge has been getting more intense every single day. I know i wasnt meant for this life. I have everything I need to ctb. And I think I will give it another shot today. I want my life to find an end so badly. So very badly. But I'm so afraid that I'll get found out. If my parents find out about my poor mental health my life will go from bad to absolutely horrific. And if that person ends up contacting emergency services my parents will know as I currently still live with them. I cant help but to say it over and over again. I want to die, I just want this all to end. I can't take it anymore. I dont want to keep fighting anymore. I'm so done. I'm more than ready to never wake up again. Just the thought of death brings me so much solace.

 

[discernment]

I hope you feel like you're able to speak to someone (even if its on here) if you need to so that you're not completely alone. You sound like you're in a lot of pain & I hope you are able to find some peace soon