Why are you still here?

[sserafim]

Fear of failing an attempt and the risk of failure. I don't want to be left with permanent damage

 

[Lookoutbelow]

I'm afraid that the fall won't kill me instantly. I've had a hard time finding actual useful info on jumping.

I also keep going sometimes for my animals. Unfortunately mine are kind of young.

Hey, mine too. The last several years have been hell on earth. It never gets better and now even if it did things are still irrevocably broken.

You said it. Even if things get better they are irrevocably broken.

 

[Don’tDoxMe]

Because my attempts keep failing. And I'm also my dad's reason for living, so I'm scared that he'll ctb if I do which would kind of make me murderer.

 

[Cryptonite]

Frankly, survival instinct. But I'm working on it, always moving forward, never giving up.

 

[Orange Cat]

I am still too scared to go through with it.

 

[Kundalini Guy]

Am not suicidal anymore but I still have my SN and I can potentially be suicidal again in the future. I also like this community and talking to people on here.

 

[Sprite_Geist]

Why am I still here? I am feeling trapped, and currently lack any motivation to go through with suicide; though the desire is still there.

 

[2flourish]

dont have an easy, peaceful way out

 

[venomousSSërpent74]

Just waiting things out for now not the right time to do any CTB i'm giving myself one last chance to try to pick myself up get help but i don't even want to do that I don't trust those systems anymore I come out with the same shit and same problems or either they aren't telling me all that's wrong with me. i'm trying to keep myself out of psych wards that just making money off me and they wouldn't let me leave about my 3rd or 4th time being there and I don't trust these crisis lines because that's what got me there in the first place by concerned friends and I think i've only contacted them once on my own the rest of the times it was one of my friends. I am also stuck on my past have some trauma's don't trust anyone not even my closest friends they just feel like everyone else I meet the people I consider "friends" "close friends" I fucked it up with them or they fucked me up and these are friends i've had since I've been growing up but I still seen them as good people and eventually they left my ass lol. It's always been hard for me to meet people since i was young and it still is now I haven't met anyone new since i've started college and honestly have given up because people are weird mean and just to much everytime I would try I'd be reminded why I hate people, don't make friends and stick alone. But i do have some friends and I don't know I've just never been able to get to that level with them and i've known them for a long time one of them is my ex and we're friends and the other is a highschool friend the rest dipped but it just will never be the same with them as it was with my old friends I always feel like I have to be careful with them and keep my distance and honestly that's all i've been doing since i've met them and my ex but now that we're friends it doesn't seem any different they are also apart of the reason why I stay but eventually that won't mean much.

 

[day]

The access to reliable peaceful methods are so hard to find. I can only wish for N to go on sale as I'm to the point where I don't trust many other methods. I find art and beauty in death and simply wish to look at peace when found. I can't achieve that with many methods. I've managed to source fentanyl but I've failed an OD before and don't want to mess up again.

 

[Cress]

To be totally honest with you I'm not exactly sure. Logically I want to CTB But I've had several Failed attempts in the past And I have been hospitalized well over 20 times. I'm concerned with failing an attempt and ending up with serious damage. I already suffered liver damage from one attempt. I found that out when a military doctor asked me if I struggled with being an alcoholic Because my liver was damaged from a previous attempt. I have never drank in my life so I'm pretty sure I know where the damage came from.

I have Friends who would support me And relationships I guess And I'm in treatment for a medical condition. None of this stuff is particularly fruitful though and it just sort of acts like a carrot on a string

 

[letmejoindeath]

Im still not sure. I have tried everything. Being a good person didn't work, being a bad person didn't work, going back to being a good person didn't work. Can't live with myself from being a bad person anyways so now i need to die

 

[Morgengrauen]

i've promised few people and myself to attend few more events this month but they've been trying to drag it out even longer then i can by adding more events i shall be there. only one last halloween and then i'm gone i can't go on longer anymore. just the few things i've promised for certain. but again they're the reason i'm still here, otherwise i would be gone the very same day i got approved on this forum lol

 

[NeedAnEscape]

I don't have a plan -- all I have are my urges. I have an obligation to others to stay alive, no matter how I feel. It's hard to make a plan when I'm not allowed to escape.

 

[qsocdu]

I'm trying to learn how to hang myself but SI kicks in quickly and I start crying pathetically

 

[MidnightGloom]

I'm not afraid of dying but I'm still afraid of pain. I'm a failure so I'll likely fail at dying too.

 

[princexhhn]

idk tbh ive just been dancing around it this past week. Im gonna do partial hanging. I found my carotid once in a test run, but then cant find it again so yeah.

 

[waRmblanket]

to be honest i didn't think i'd still be here by now, had many plans but never planned at the right time. i'm only here because i made a promise id go to an event, after that, i'm good to go.