Why are you still here?

[sensenmann]

Because I can't get over the fact that I will hurt my loved ones, which sucks cause I'm already dead.

 

[lsjfifie]

I have stories to write and a script to memorize. Along with that are college and my family.

Too many responsibilities. After all of that, maybe I'll die, I don't know.

 

[Lookoutbelow]

Because I'm not homeless yet.

 

[WretchedDreams]

SI more than anything else. I failed at CTB a few years ago, and although it didn't cause any major side effects, it made me afraid of trying again and having nasty side effects like being put in a psych ward. That would only make the time of existence more miserable. Furthermore, I consider myself a bit of a perfectionist (nothing but a massive cope...in order not to admit that I have fear and doubts, I overthink and deceive myself with sad hopes of "improvement"), I must reevaluate the method in addition to dedicating more planning time to avoid another mistake. I have a pair of cats but my sister already called dibs on them.

May try the Night-Night or inert gas method next.

 

[roseleaf]

i get mood swings

 

[DearAgony]

I've tried night-night, partial hanging and full suspension. Can't get NN to work. Same with partial, I just dangle around for a bit before I get fed up. Full suspension is just too painful. I only lasted roughly 20 seconds before I had to climb up the rope to get enough slack to untie it. I'm beginning to think I don't have carotid arteries

But I'll tell ya one thing, my body is gonna look disgusting by the time someone finds it. They'll only know I'm dead when I don't pay the rent.

 

[Shiva_Story]

preparing, organizing, planning, assembling bits & also got trip to Asia for the winter planned, but looking forward to leave this world.

 

[Jorms_McGander]

Why haven't you killed yourself? Just curious.

For me it's fear and because the taste of n is so bad that I'm worried I'll throw up

36 years old, Borderline Personality Disorder, ADHD, social anxiety, mild autism.

It's because I know that I have skills which could be useful to others. I have toddler-age relatives who are presenting the way I did when I was a toddler. I would love to help them become fully-adjusted adults, without the trauma of inherent lifelong invalidation. It has been a living hell for me. I have the opportunity to prevent that for somebody else.
I am undecided if I can actually effect any change, but ostensibly that's my reason.

The other one is just fear. Same as usual. SI.

 

[suicidalgirl96]

My family, they're amazing and it's hard knowing I'm going to ruin their lives. That's when I'm thinking more logically, most days I think I'm such a burden they'd be better off without me. They all know I'm suicidal and whenever I have opened up to them they're extremely upset and want to do everything to help me. My dad died a couple of months ago (another reason for me to ctb) and seeing how we all dealt with it, it's horrible knowing I'm going to put them through that again. But I can't carry on, I can't live any longer.

 

[brokeandbroken]

I have no idea. My life has gradually (then sped up) eroded and become shittier and shittier over the past couple years. The past year and a half. Has mostly been a daily battle. Recently all hope has been extinguished. It's only a matter of time.

 

[BlazingBob]

Dogs. They depend on me. They'd be seriously neglected. I'm hanging on by a thread. I never thought my life and health could get this bad.

 

[Tesha]

If I'm being honest, my body is still here but my head has probably checked out and is just waiting for the rest of me to catch up. I've got a bit of self destructing to still do, before I'm thoroughly beyond physically living.

 

[mob]

Because of my cats, and, going to sound odd, because of art.

 

[hermestrimegistus]

1) spiritual/metaphysical consequences for the lack of better terms
2) I refuse to attempt again only to fail and live with the stigma and/or permanently damage myself and have to live with it
I think the only loophole I have is dying on accident. But if I just give up on the first principle and find a reliable method I'll probably be doing it in the next year

 

[Pidgeons_Sparrows]

lack of good methods and me just being a pussy

 

[dogbreath]

i don't know why, I really don't know why....I already know how i'm gonna go and I can get the materials easily but I dont know whats stopping me...i think its just laziness tbh...I think i'm just waiting for a sign or for something big to pop up and that'll let me know that its time to go... i really dont know why im still here it hurts

 

[bridgegirl]

Why haven't you killed yourself? Just curious.

For me it's fear and because the taste of n is so bad that I'm worried I'll throw up

I'm afraid that the fall won't kill me instantly. I've had a hard time finding actual useful info on jumping.

I'm waiting for my cat to pass,then I'm getting the hell out of here. She's 10 atm so could have another 4/5 years to go.

I also keep going sometimes for my animals. Unfortunately mine are kind of young.

I have no idea. My life has gradually (then sped up) eroded and become shittier and shittier over the past couple years. The past year and a half. Has mostly been a daily battle. Recently all hope has been extinguished. It's only a matter of time.

Hey, mine too. The last several years have been hell on earth. It never gets better and now even if it did things are still irrevocably broken.

 

[abl2023]

I haven't been able to find a method that I would like to ctb yet. I want to do it as quick and painless as possible. I'm afraid of failing the attempt

 

[Ampsvx123]

Just waiting for cancer to finish me off,
But have everything if push comes to shove.

 

[Blue Elephant]

I would say that like many others I'm here for loved ones, for my mum and for my grandma ..

But really, I'm only here because I haven't found the right place to hang myself yet. The pain is strong, I will go out as soon as possible when the right conditions are met.

 

[kilowatt]

Can't get over the fear of missing out beautiful life experienced. That's the only reason I won't just do it on impulse. I'm also not done with my notes.

 

[Blue Elephant]

Can't get over the fear of missing out beautiful life experienced. That's the only reason I won't just do it on impulse. I'm also not done with my notes.

What notes? Are you keeping a journal?

 

[kilowatt]

What notes? Are you keeping a journal?

I plan on leaving suicide notes for multiple people. I only had the guts to finish one so far, thou my due date is in over a month. However,haha, I do keep a journal, but I'll take that to the grave with me. I'll probably burn it the week of my planned day.

 

[ctb★prince]

Why haven't you killed yourself? Just curious.

For me it's fear and because the taste of n is so bad that I'm worried I'll throw up

no method is fit for me because of how weak i am, honestly just waiting for someone to grab me off the streets and just do it for me

 

[jussaloser]

failed attempt.

it was pretty spontaneous so i want my next to be successful.

 

[silligant]

I still can't really get over how much I might harm those I know, and I also do not have proper access to my method just yet

 

[marshmallow_mochi]

We are poor and in debt to many people, so if I'm gonna die I'm gonna leave them without money. I mean in today climate, pretty much everything is expensive and I feeling guilty if I can't help them even a little bit to pay the debt, I'm still studying and they still paying my tuition so I feel kind of responsibility . I feel like I owned them some money since they raised me. I can see their hardship in everyday,So I'm always thinking to myself why I didn't killed myself earlier since the cost of raising someone is so expensive. I still shocked to the fact that they didn't proceed to abort me. But yeah and it's much more harder to find place and time to killed myself if we are always sleeping in one room.

 

[itsraining]

i don't want to make my best friend sad

 

[wildflowers1996]

because I haven't found a SN source yet

 

[umopep!sdn128]

Because it's hard to decide. I don't mean that I'm afraid of pain. I am even ready for disability after an unsuccessful attempt, as a "punishment" for such an unnatural act. But just deciding to do something that you have never tried before, and such a serious and responsible step...
Sometimes there are "good" moments in life, at such moments there is an illusion that life is worth living. But again pain, suffering and meaninglessness await me in the future. I still think that the moment has come to end this terrible experience of conscious life on Earth forever.