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Very admirable, I hope you find the peace you deserveI'm only waiting till my youngest is an adult, that way I can leave my children with some money and a decent upbringing. I know exactly what I'm going to do and how. I've fought with this long enough; I'm 38 years old, I've been deeply depressed and abused for as long as i can remember, regrettably passing on that chemical imbalance, mindset, or what have you to my firstborn who hanged himself 7 years ago. I've been through enough trauma for 10 lifetimes, I'm currently going into paramedic work to try and help humanity for a bit, then I'll take my leave. I want to go 'peacefully' and I'll hold out hope that the US will allow it in 10 years time. Otherwise it'll be out in the forest with a gun for me.
The fear of hurting a certain few of my loved ones. Im gonna try to withdraw as much as possible to ensure that they do not feel the pain from my death as they would now.
For me it is an innate desire to romanticise my final days. Romanticise filling my final days with the things I love and cherish. Things that if they wholly composed my life I would actually want to live. Sadly the real world does not compare to that ideal and honestly due to that I plan to CTB.
can't find a method, can't get the supplies and time when I'm alone. also because since of the last attempt I've gotten so unmotivated. can't even get out of my bed lol
You're not a junkie unless you are robbing and stealing for your habit. Functional addictions have helped me cope for many years. ( recently clean for 3 months) I was thinking of Fent as a way out, but I hear it is hard to find it uncut?
Same here. One minute I'm ready the next I'm not so sure, one minute I'm crying the next minute I'm angry. I hoped meeting people may help but I also don't want the guilt of knowing my death hurt people, so I don't even know if making friends is a good idea. Ontop of all that I'm a coward so I'm stuck here anyways. Moodswings make it hard to have confidence in making a decision.
Have you considered going to a country that has legalized assisted suicide? I'm sure there you could get the ending you desire.
I'm genuinely curious, how did the shotgun attempt fail? I'd assume getting shot with a shotgun would succeed in death?I lost my mental strength.
Each time i tried to die people have intervened or my methods failed, i tried a shotgun and hanging both failed.
Im currently sourcing N, unfortunately it seems i may have to physically persuade a certain entity to you know, give it up. Polypropylene is nice
But we will cross that bridge in time
What is this sensation you are talking about? Is it a sensation caused by the method you are using?
