An update on the OFCOM situation: As you know, censorship around the world has been ramping up at an alarming pace. OFCOM, the UK’s communications regulator, has singled out our community, demanding compliance with their Online Safety Act despite our minimal UK presence. This is a blatant overreach, and they have been sending letters pressuring us to comply with their censorship agenda.
Our platform is already blocked by many UK ISPs, yet they continue their attempts to stifle free speech. Standing up to this kind of regulatory overreach requires lots of resources to maintain our infrastructure and fight back against these unjust demands. If you value our community and want to support us during this time, we would greatly appreciate any and all donations.
Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.
Why are you still alive?
Reactions:
Polly__, whats_the_point, danzk and 36 others
I don't really care about my loved ones grief but I care if I somehow failed and that's my biggest fear, also I'm a coward that used to be brainwashed that God will throw me to hell if I commit and I somehow and sometimes believe that. I don't know, if god exist, is he really a good guy?
I can't handle the pain. I know it would probably be short, depending on the method, but the pain is a major factor that kicks my procrastination into overdrive. I keep wanting to find a painless method. Plus, whenever I get down enough to the point to consider it, something usually takes my attention long enough for me to forget.
I love this question. Tbh I'm here for my mom and dad. Im their youngest kid and they're older (in their 60s). Im also a well known Catholic singer and I cannot let the people who see me as a role model down. I am in severe mental and physical pain but i haven't ctb because of my family, my partner, and the people who look up to me in church.
Reactions:
apeaceofmind, migimortis and Achromatix
I'm alive because I'm a coward too. I'm scared of the hospital stay if I fuck it up. I'm scared of making my life worse if I can't die right. But the loneliness hurts so bad. I try to ctb but mess it up again. Then I'm afraid to try again and the cycle repeats. I hope you find some comfort you aren't alone <3
After reading everyones replies, I've realized part of the reason I'm still alive is because of guilt. I wish I had none, but I'm in denial. I know I'm going to hurt a handful of people, very, very badly, and the guilt is eating me up inside. But I can't take it anymore. I've been altruistic for long enough. If you love someone, let them rest.
I'm only waiting till my youngest is an adult, that way I can leave my children with some money and a decent upbringing. I know exactly what I'm going to do and how. I've fought with this long enough; I'm 38 years old, I've been deeply depressed and abused for as long as i can remember, regrettably passing on that chemical imbalance, mindset, or what have you to my firstborn who hanged himself 7 years ago. I've been through enough trauma for 10 lifetimes, I'm currently going into paramedic work to try and help humanity for a bit, then I'll take my leave. I want to go 'peacefully' and I'll hold out hope that the US will allow it in 10 years time. Otherwise it'll be out in the forest with a gun for me.
I'm only waiting till my youngest is an adult, that way I can leave my children with some money and a decent upbringing. I know exactly what I'm going to do and how. I've fought with this long enough; I'm 38 years old, I've been deeply depressed and abused for as long as i can remember, regrettably passing on that chemical imbalance, mindset, or what have you to my firstborn who hanged himself 7 years ago. I've been through enough trauma for 10 lifetimes, I'm currently going into paramedic work to try and help humanity for a bit, then I'll take my leave. I want to go 'peacefully' and I'll hold out hope that the US will allow it in 10 years time. Otherwise it'll be out in the forest with a gun for me.
Mostly, what's stopping me is the fear of failing, I don't want the people around me to know how depressed / suicidal I am I guess. Also if I fail and I have permeant damage, I don't want to have to rely on anyone for the rest of my life.
The sensation I get in my body as I am seconds away from death is terrifying. I think I might have to try a different method, but I don't know if I have the energy to go out and jump off a bridge or something.
I'm just kind of stupid and lazy and incompetent which is why I need to die in the first place but these flaws are also preventing me properly carrying out my death plans.
Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.
The fear of hurting a certain few of my loved ones. Im gonna try to withdraw as much as possible to ensure that they do not feel the pain from my death as they would now.
Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.
For me it is an innate desire to romanticise my final days. Romanticise filling my final days with the things I love and cherish. Things that if they wholly composed my life I would actually want to live. Sadly the real world does not compare to that ideal and honestly due to that I plan to CTB.
Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.
can't find a method, can't get the supplies and time when I'm alone. also because since of the last attempt I've gotten so unmotivated. can't even get out of my bed lol
Honest to god I couldn't tell ya. My parents and peers put me through absolute misery each and every day. It's funny, just about each day I fantasize at least one time about ending my life. I don't think I'd feel an ounce of guilt either, not after what I've been through. There will be a few limited people I'll think about, but it wouldn't be enough to hold me back. So what is holding me back from CTB? Drugs, pretty much just drugs. I plan on ending my life on my birthday via opiate overdose. Not that I do opiates recreationally, but I'll just buy a fuck ton of clean Fentanyl and get to snorting. Either that, or I'll just go out via shotgun blast. I can't imagine any scenario with both situations where the paramedics or peers could possibly save me, especially with the time it would take for an ambulance to reach my house. In the meantime I've just been enjoying my final days with my Psychedelics, Dissociates, Stimulants, and Weed. Feel free to call me a junkie for saying this, but it's really been the only thing that's kept me going for as long as I have. As long as you don't go apeshit with the drugs, recreational use can be a net positive.
I don't fucking know. I have a lot of moodswings,, one moment I could be completely fine and the next minute I could be trying to stab myself,, it all depends,, although I suspect that my friends' existence help me stay here too. I wouldn't want to hurt them,, PLUS I'm a fucking coward and I'm very sensitive to pain… the only options I have are mainly the ones that cause a lot of agony,, plus they're not even reliable… so ig I'll stay here for the time being
not skinny enough to die. taking aside my eating disorder, it takes too much effort to die right fucking now. i don't even have the energy to live, and now death can't automatically bring itself upon me? you must be fucking joking. but i'll certainly will do it someday anyway if everything is prepared already. i exist not to live a life. i exist to die.
Honest to god I couldn't tell ya. My parents and peers put me through absolute misery each and every day. It's funny, just about each day I fantasize at least one time about ending my life. I don't think I'd feel an ounce of guilt either, not after what I've been through. There will be a few limited people I'll think about, but it wouldn't be enough to hold me back. So what is holding me back from CTB? Drugs, pretty much just drugs. I plan on ending my life on my birthday via opiate overdose. Not that I do opiates recreationally, but I'll just buy a fuck ton of clean Fentanyl and get to snorting. Either that, or I'll just go out via shotgun blast. I can't imagine any scenario with both situations where the paramedics or peers could possibly save me, especially with the time it would take for an ambulance to reach my house. In the meantime I've just been enjoying my final days with my Psychedelics, Dissociates, Stimulants, and Weed. Feel free to call me a junkie for saying this, but it's really been the only thing that's kept me going for as long as I have. As long as you don't go apeshit with the drugs, recreational use can be a net positive.
You're not a junkie unless you are robbing and stealing for your habit. Functional addictions have helped me cope for many years. ( recently clean for 3 months) I was thinking of Fent as a way out, but I hear it is hard to find it uncut?
I don't fucking know. I have a lot of moodswings,, one moment I could be completely fine and the next minute I could be trying to stab myself,, it all depends,, although I suspect that my friends' existence help me stay here too. I wouldn't want to hurt them,, PLUS I'm a fucking coward and I'm very sensitive to pain… the only options I have are mainly the ones that cause a lot of agony,, plus they're not even reliable… so ig I'll stay here for the time being
Same here. One minute I'm ready the next I'm not so sure, one minute I'm crying the next minute I'm angry. I hoped meeting people may help but I also don't want the guilt of knowing my death hurt people, so I don't even know if making friends is a good idea. Ontop of all that I'm a coward so I'm stuck here anyways. Moodswings make it hard to have confidence in making a decision.
Because we exist in this hellish anti-suicide society where we are denied the option of a peaceful and guaranteed way to die in peace, it's disgusting how humans make suicide into such an unnecessary struggle. As well as suicide methods being inaccessible in general, I'd also fear trying to die going wrong and leading to way more suffering as a result, the thought of a suicide attempt failing terrifies me.
The sensation I get in my body as I am seconds away from death is terrifying. I think I might have to try a different method, but I don't know if I have the energy to go out and jump off a bridge or something.
Because I've been too much of a chicken shit until now. When you hit rock bottom ctbing comes easier
Because I've been too much of a chicken shit until now. When you hit rock bottom ctbing comes easier
Because I've been too much of a chicken shit until now. When you hit rock bottom ctbing comes easier
Because I've been too much of a chicken shit until now. When you hit rock bottom ctbing comes easier
Because I've been too much of a chicken shit until now. When you hit rock bottom ctbing comes easier
Because I've been too much of a chicken shit until now. When you hit rock bottom ctbing comes easier
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.