Why are you still alive?

[migimortis]

Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.

Why are you still alive?

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I would say I'm still alive bc I didn't do it when I was ready and had my method prepared - just - I didn't do it. Maybe fear of failure, especially my mum wouldn't get over it and maybe my situation isn't too bad, too much hope left I could recover, actually idk what exactly stopped me befrore I really attempted.

Currently (after more than half a year and my situation settled at a low but still bearable level) I'm not really suicidal anymore. Still, CTB is an option if necessary but no constant thoughts about it.

 

[BlockHammer]

Currently, im still observing my life whether or not it deserve to lived. And also researching the methode is quiet hard to do and it might took my time to practicing a certain skill. So that's the reason of why im still here

 

[dinosavr]

Why are you still alive?

My life is relatively easy at the moment so it's acceptable for me to hold on yet. But I don't think it would stop me if it wasn't for my family. I consider my parents and siblings very sensitive and innocent people who don't deserve to be hurt. Especially if I am supposed to be the one who hurts them. Even though I would be too dead to care, it's the last thing that still really matters to me

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I'm scared of the pain and also scared of failing and ending up locked away for at least 2 weeks. I'm scared of being locked up. Last time I had a panick attack lasting the whole time that I was there.

 

[accountnamerequired]

I can't find the carotid artery to hang myself, I also need to finish putting together the pull up bar I bought as an anchor point. I thought it came as one big piece but I guess not. The good news is I also ordered 8ft of rope and even if that doesn't work I have a tie I can use. Like many here I was very nervous about becoming a vegetable but at least I wouldn't be conscious anymore. My other concern is what's the right way to tie it but hopefully there's some guides on here for that

 

[Meteora]

I dont know really. Probably also bc I m a coward. I ve attemped three or four times (dont fully recall), only the first time was whole-hearted though, maybe bc I already knew from the first attempt that meds would not kill me really. After the first time I came to ICU and then locked ward and the doctor said I should never do such thing again and that I almost died. I m still surprised why she even cared.....
I m not afraid of pain and I know with full suspension hanging I will defintily leave this world.
I hope I will do it this year. That was my wish on the 31.12.23 for this year.

 

[newintown]

Coward here as well, plus, I still haven't properly researched my preferred methods to go.

Even if when I feel "better" I try to think that maybe I can still find a way to go on and have an at least a feasible way to live, deep down I'm devoured by the fear that this is just a fantasy to distract myself from the inevitable failure I'm moving forward to, and that no matter what, I don't have what it takes to survive in this world, I'm just one of the weaklings that will get culled by natural selection.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because we exist in this hellish anti-suicide society where we are denied the option of a peaceful and guaranteed way to die in peace, it's disgusting how humans make suicide into such an unnecessary struggle. As well as suicide methods being inaccessible in general, I'd also fear trying to die going wrong and leading to way more suffering as a result, the thought of a suicide attempt failing terrifies me.

 

[kettlevinbarq]

ketamine saved my life

 

[3ndmym1sery]

because they wont let me die

Because we exist in this hellish anti-suicide society where we are denied the option of a peaceful and guaranteed way to die in peace, it's disgusting how humans make suicide into such an unnecessary struggle. As well as suicide methods being inaccessible in general, I'd also fear trying to die going wrong and leading to way more suffering as a result, the thought of a suicide attempt failing terrifies me.

my suicide attempt failed in such an awful away. it was like being almost there, the place i was trying to reach for so long, and then these complete strangers, people ive never seen before pulled me away from it and locked me up in a small cage for crazy people. i didnt eat for so long, it was so hard, so painful, and it was all for nothing. now im forced to live. i wish i was never born</3

 

[trashhologram]

I want to try to recover. I'm really trying this year and will do my best to live like it's my last year since it might be. I'm suicidal but I think that suicide is the last resort. I've lost people I've loved (and still do even though they're not here anymore) to suicide and I don't want to cause my loved ones all that pain and those questions. "How didn't I notice anything?" "If I had done this or that they would be alive..." "Didn't I show my love for them enough?" Etc. Also my cats. I don't want them to suffer because I'm gone. They're all all over me if I've been gone for a weekend ❤

 

[almondmilk]

i don't really have a reliable method , i was thinking about SN , but i don't rlly know where to buy it haha. i'm also afraid of what it doesn't work?? and i'll be crippled for the rest of my life?? my life's already shit , don't want it to be shittier by SURVIVING =)))

 

[mortuarymary]

Because, I've still still stuff I need to do. My time isnt ready yet.

 

[Endofit]

Because I dont want to hurt people. Bec I don't want a violent death, and even SN seems to be violent. Bec I don't wish to die, but wish to end my suffering. Bec i'm a weak coward.

 

[6ft7]

Because I am confused. I don't want to live but I am afraid to die. How stupid is that.

 

[cold_severance]

i completely cut off every other person from my life and since i've been alone pretty much always, its not enough to cbt. i do try going to therapists\psych shits so they'll give me enough motivation to finally end it, though its hit and miss i guess. my endline is when i run out of money in a few months, so it doesnt matter that much.

 

[girl2910]

I'm waiting for the right time

 

[borderlinee]

Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.

Why are you still alive?

My plan is sn, but I can't find it anywhere, I'm also extremely afraid of death. Survival instincts are just too strong.

 

[everyonesaniki]

Waiting for my antiemetics to arrive

 

[JellyKat]

Because I am loved. Fucks knows why. And I don't want to pass on my pain to them.

 

[Raven2]

1) because I dont know where to get SN anymore and I'd be worried about a welfare check. all other methods apart from hanging seem unfeasible. I prefer thought of SN so I can pass away relatively comfortable in bed.

2) Im scared of what come after death, if only we knew for sure then I could be at peace with the knowing whether it be nothing, heaven or reincarnation

 

[bluebird16]

Family. And because drowning in the sea (the only method accessible to me) takes a huge amount of courage that I just don't have yet. Scared of reincarnation.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

 

[wisp]

Because physically and mentally I don't suffer, I just live as a jobless NPC who's only reason to leave the house is to walk the dog and go to the gym. I don't have friends, I don't have a girlfriend, I don't have a car, I don't have a job and the job here is not to be found.
Unfortunately, I grew up in a respectable family in an affluent neighborhood, but my father is a nobody and my mother has to take care of the whole family financially. Here in Italy since joining Europe, there has been a spike in inflation and today's kids are already having a hard time finding work while in the south of Italy there is no work.
Here only those who engage in squatting, malfeasance, tax fraud, tax evasion, to the point of becoming real criminals with theft, robbery, drug dealing live here.

I am not and never will be a criminal, but neither do I have the option of going elsewhere. I will opt for suicide when my mother dies, so with no more chance to move on

 

[funnyjoy]

Because the tourniquet method failed me

 

[Ironborn]

Family, I saw the effect it had on them after my attempt. Before that I was just running on spite/hatred.

 

[Unattainable666]

Fear of failure. I believe my method is foolproof, quick and painless. I have no value to anyone. I am worthless. There is no need for me to be here anymore.

 

[paranous]

I'm just waiting for a really bad day. Honestly, ending it right now seems too complicated. Even dying peacefully seems difficult.

 

[Act Two]

Personally, I'm still alive mostly out of fear, not for myself but all the people it would hurt. I'm waiting 30 days to see if there's anything that could convince me to stay alive before I CTB, but if not, well, c'est la vie.

 

[pole]

my mom.