Why are you still alive?

[migimortis]

Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.

Why are you still alive?

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Fear of failure. If they hadn't made assisting suicide a crime I would be out of here.

The most important thing is that suicide will succeed and not result in brain damage. So u have to take unnecessary risks doing it yourself because no one is allowed to help you.

Also u have to defeat si, find a remote location, and do it by yourself in secret with risky methods

Here in the U.S. They put Dr. Kevorkian in prison for assisting old people in pain with suicide.

It's literally a million times easier for someone to do it for you or assist you

Assisting suicide is voluntary. Birth is an imposition. This society encourages nonvoluntary acts like giving birth = life. They glorify these heinous nonvoluntary crimes while they demonize assisted suicide a voluntary act

I'm in the USA and guns are still legal. Someone could take multiple shots at my head while I only get one shot

Suicide should be as easy as Calling a electrician. The only reason it isn't is because they passed laws making anyone like a hitman , Dr. , a friend anyone from assisting in suicide to get out of extreme torture

The fact is all sentien animals like humans become old. I've worked in a nursing home old age is hell. This society prolongs old age and severely bans any exit out of this hell they brought us into

 

[babybunny13]

I ask myself the same thing

 

[Myforevercharlie]

Because I chose to sit out this ride.

 

[Valky]

Because I can't die in peace, knowing I hurt the people around me.
It would absolutely destroy them if I took my own life and I simply cannot do that to them. I feel like they are already suffering through my mental illnesses and I feel very guilty for it. But taking my own life would make things unbearable for them.

The only reasons I am still alive are, of course, fear but also out of love.
And that love gives me hope.
Maybe this tunnel will never end, maybe I find sunshine and long fields at the end. All I know is that there will always be another tunnel, that's just how the ride of life is. And I am holding onto the hope that those passages between them, will be worth it. For myself but also the people sitting next to me in that train.

I am simply not meant to enter the bus anytime soon, so I'll sit in this train and hope for better days.

 

[LONE WOLF.]

I reckon I'm still here because I'm just too damn stubborn to commit to CTB and also because I keep buying lottery tickets on the off chance my crappy luck just might change ...

 

[SoulofSteel]

Trying to give myself a chance to see if things get better, I literally have this delusion that I could become very rich by busting my ass off on a project I'm working on, and my ex will come back and everything's gonna turn just fine, realistically I don't think there's a chance of any of that happening I'm just delaying the inevitable, but then again I want to die while fully knowing I did all I could to turn the tables, that it was my last resort not an impulsive decision.

 

[heliophobic]

Because my mother is still alive and I have zero interest in hurting her. She's gone through enough pain in her life.

 

[inaminute]

Fcking good question

 

[Berzzen]

i promised my fam I would stick it out until 2027 at a minimum.

 

[tewakis]

Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.

Why are you still alive?

i'm too afraid. i've tried but pussied out plenty of times. i need to gather the courage to do it like so many others did and put my suffering aside. i'd really enjoy if i had someone else irl to do it with to push my confidence further though.

 

[Tommen Baratheon]

Because there is no Drion's pill freely available in the pharmacy.

I've thought about several methods, but there's always a reason not to choose a particular method. Always a reason (or excuse?) not to do it. Sometimes it feels like something is holding me back. I've experienced what they call psychosis and it left me with sort of a spiritual awakening. (But I still have the feeling that I want to die.)

 

[quirky]

Because I'm unable to do it. I fear that I might fail and then it would be even more miserable. I was 16 when I became suicidal, I'll turn 23 next month. I've no idea how these 7 years passed and why I am still alive.

 

[migimortis]

Because I'm unable to do it. I fear that I might fail and then it would be even more miserable. I was 16 when I became suicidal, I'll turn 23 next month. I've no idea how these 7 years passed and why I am still alive.

People say "it gets better". "It's because your a teenager". But sometimes it doesn't get better. People don't take adolescent depression seriously enough.

 

[doormat25]

I can't snap my cats neck. The way he looked at me with my hands around his neck. This is torture. I can't do it. I wish/hope/pray I die in my sleep tonight. Don't think I can fall,asleep after the horrifying attempt this afternoon.

 

[toxicjester]

Mainly cause it's a lot of work? For one I don't even have a plan, but there's also so much I'd have to get in order before I do anything. I'd have to repay my debts so that my family who's already struggling doesn't have to worry about it, and I'd also have to move all my stuff out my gf's place so that she wouldn't have to deal with it.

But also the fact that my younger siblings always ask for me since I don't live home anymore and it kills me to think how they'd react if the reason they couldn't see me anymore wasn't just a "I don't live home anymore" problem.

I also worry about my gf since she's also super depressed and is one step ahead of me and has a plan while I don't. I worry that if I ended up doing anything she'd follow and as much as I wanna do it I care about her and don't want that for her.

 

[WeirdGirlAnon]

My mom mostly, also other family/loved ones but none to the degree of my mom. It's so selfish but I can't leave her yet even though I should.

 

[RemainingDubious]

i personally don't consider myself as being alive since life is for the living, i merely exist.

i currently exist due to family members guilt tripping me. i'm told they'd "miss me" (which i personally find pretty selfish of them)

me and the closest two relatives to me have had three immediate family members CTB. i personally understand. my relatives don't as they can't see past their own perspective and their own beliefs.

i have also had something i had to take care of (a responsibility that unfortunately fell to me) for the benefit of the others.

currently i'm looking for bus stops and the bus timetables, what supplies are needed/ where to get supplies (in england) either helium or nitrogen sound appealing.

Finally i'd like to minimize as much upset as possible that those i care about would feel. i struggle to think how i could explain so they could be at peace with my choice.

i'd be extremely grateful if anyone could point me in the right direction for the information i require.

 

[Tommen Baratheon]

My mom mostly, also other family/loved ones but none to the degree of my mom. It's so selfish but I can't leave her yet even though I should.

Parents shouldn't survive their children. Yes, I get that.

 

[The Schizoid]

I lost my mental strength.

Each time i tried to die people have intervened or my methods failed, i tried a shotgun and hanging both failed.

Im currently sourcing N, unfortunately it seems i may have to physically persuade a certain entity to you know, give it up. Polypropylene is nice

But we will cross that bridge in time

How did your shotgun suicide fail?

The sensation I get in my body as I am seconds away from death is terrifying. I think I might have to try a different method, but I don't know if I have the energy to go out and jump off a bridge or something.

I will take things to inebriate myself if I choose to jump.

 

[whats_the_point]

Parents, plus I don't have the necessary resources yet to CTB.

Procrastination.

Ok this made me laugh. Thanks for that iota of happiness.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

How did your shotgun suicide fail?


I will take things to inebriate myself if I choose to jump.

Dad came in and slapped me across the face, the end.

I've had plenty access to shotguns but i just couldn't blow my brains out into instant nothingness, it needs to be slow which i why i want Nembutal or whatever it's called.

 

[suicidequeen]

Because I haven't found an effective method of suicide yet that won't leave me disabled. Once I discover an effective suicide method, I'm leaving this world forever

 

[VampQueen]

Why are you still alive? Is it fear? Not wanting to hurt loved ones? Not knowing how to ctb? The only reason I'm still alive is because I'm a coward. I should've killed myself years ago. Sure family may be upset but they are upset over me being a failure anyway. I'm alive because I'm weak. I'm not living, I'm simply holding on.

Why are you still alive?

A) Because I still have hope of things getting better.
B) the unknown after death is far more scary than living (to me)
C) I'm afraid of a painful death. Yes there is ways for a peacefully way to CTB but the thought of it being painful is still there.

 

[Tired_of_myself]

I failed my last attempt and now im just waiting for something to happen

 

[migimortis]

I ask myself the same thing

I don't even know if I fear death anymore. I really, really, really don't know why I haven't killed myself yet. I'm waiting for something, but I don't know what.