Seagullsiren
New Member
- Sep 11, 2019
- 4
I was afraid. I can't stop obsessing about CTB, and apart of me wants it badly. However, it's complicated, I have things in life I enjoy still. Basically I was diagnosed with psychosis this year and my delusions made me think if I died the pandemic would end. I still feel guilty for not dying because, even though I accept the diagnosis now, I still wonder what if?Did you get confused or had a change of mind?
Even though apart of me wants to live, here I am on this forum again about to order more. Honestly the morning I took the SN I felt so at peace, it was wonderful. When I was loosing consciousness I remember being so glad it was out of my hands finally.
I honestly enjoyed the attempt, even though it failed. It was kind of like going under anesthesia, the world was just gone for me for a while until I woke up in the ICU. They told me I almost died and had to be intubated. I had only taken the SN maybe 20-30min before arriving in the ER so it works fast.
Also, I didn't use any antiemetics at all and did not vomit. I took 20g, and some clonazepam.
No major lasting effects except some short term discomfort when I came to and a scar on my neck where they placed a central line.