W
wherearewenow
Member
- Nov 23, 2023
- 40
i don't know why i'm suicidal. ever since before 10 years old i was suicidal. but i have no reason to be.
i'm a 19 year old trans girl with a loving and supportive family. i am decently privileged: i'm white, my mom is a university professor, sure im trans but i had a good transition and now am complimented on being pretty sometimes. i have talents, ive written music that a lot of people said they love. i have tens of thousands of followers on tiktok where i mostly make lighthearted jokes. i have friends that care about me.
but im still suicidal. i still want to be dead. and i don't know why? i should be happy. i shouldn't be on this forum, on this website raving about how sweet death would be had i only the means to achieve it. i should be okay, but im not. why?
i'm scared of one possibility: i was destined for this. my brain was wired the wrong way causing me to want to die no matter what. in that case, what good would therapy do? make me okay for a year or two before i fall back down?
i truly want to die. i just don't know why.
i'm a 19 year old trans girl with a loving and supportive family. i am decently privileged: i'm white, my mom is a university professor, sure im trans but i had a good transition and now am complimented on being pretty sometimes. i have talents, ive written music that a lot of people said they love. i have tens of thousands of followers on tiktok where i mostly make lighthearted jokes. i have friends that care about me.
but im still suicidal. i still want to be dead. and i don't know why? i should be happy. i shouldn't be on this forum, on this website raving about how sweet death would be had i only the means to achieve it. i should be okay, but im not. why?
i'm scared of one possibility: i was destined for this. my brain was wired the wrong way causing me to want to die no matter what. in that case, what good would therapy do? make me okay for a year or two before i fall back down?
i truly want to die. i just don't know why.