Why do i wanna die

[sparkljumpropequeen]

Okay so pls don't tell me there is no use for this thread i just need to talk about it and i can't with anyone else. I've been extremely suicidal for multiple years although i have no idea why. I have a big group of friends, im in law school, never been bullied and i could go on. I dont want to flex all of that but im just so confused on why suicidal thoughts chose to hit me? I also got really drunk like a week ago and told my mom i wanted to die and she told my if i take my life she will too. Now i feel like if i commit im killing her as well. Also a fucked up thing to tell your child. Is anyone going through the same? i was so close to finally doing it and then she told me that

 

[hdead]

Okay so pls don't tell me there is no use for this thread i just need to talk about it and i can't with anyone else. I've been extremely suicidal for multiple years although i have no idea why. I have a big group of friends, im in law school, never been bullied and i could go on. I dont want to flex all of that but im just so confused on why suicidal thoughts chose to hit me? I also got really drunk like a week ago and told my mom i wanted to die and she told my if i take my life she will too. Now i feel like if i commit im killing her as well. Also a fucked up thing to tell your child. Is anyone going through the same? i was so close to finally doing it and then she told me that

Nobody will be able to give you that answer except yourself.

I was in a similar position. I had everything a person would want, but it wasn't enough. It never helped me get rid of the existential crisis I've been in for over a decade. I concluded that (if it even exists) my soul wants to go home rather than play this human character. I also bet that high exposure to the internet and TV had really helped me along with disassociating from my personal life to the point where I'm disidentified with my own person.

Hope that helps to shed some light on your situation - though it doesn't change the fact you'll have to find your own answers.

 

[ladybird jones drew]

Many people from all walks of life experience suicidal thoughts. It's not just people who are lonely, unsuccessful, bullied, etc.
The question of "why me?" is pervasive but in reality, it's more like "why this huge number of people of which I'm a part?"
The conclusion is common but reasons vary greatly, and as hdead says, you'll have to find your own answers.
If you want to pursue those answers, talk to the forum, write in a journal, sit down and talk to a therapist. Chat GPT is not bad for this kind of exploration either.
They won't give you answers, but if you're persistent and lucky, they might stimulate some thoughts to push you in the right direction and find them yourself.

 

[Mr.Ruben]

to finally doing it and then she told me that

chance of forgotten trauma? but I personally never had the suicidal thoughts from nothing, might be just the fear of existence, although I cannot help you being in a similar position as yours, I hope you find an answer in the near future.

 

[revivals]

even an 'average' life can be traumatizing. parents dont need to be abusive to leave impacts in your self esteem, you can have many good friends and still have no one available during difficult times just due to unfortunate circumstances. sometimes cumulative issues and insecurities that are hard to identify build up into a tidal wave of emptiness and sorrow. do not be afraid to ask for help, i myself have had harrowing experiences in the psych industry so i understand why it might be difficult to talk to a professional, but many people have had their whole outlook on life turned around on the proper medication and dose. i suggest trying therapy and possibly an antidepressant if you havent already, even getting evaluated by a psych for a word that describes whats effecting you could be helpful. i wish you the best of luck in whatever you choose!