
AN IDIOT'S END
Death to the World
- Feb 24, 2021
- 39
Catholic men. Conservative men. "Pick me" girls. Angry racists. My parents. The church. God. Lot's of people.
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Guilt is a killer I know it's telling me to do it every dayI did.
I ruined a perfectly good marriage. And now I feel alone, depressed and suicidal.
I feel your pain. My mother broke me too. In many ways I don't feel talking about openly. However, I wanted her to suffer. And sadly she died never having faced her consequence. So many people have bullied me and pushed me to suicide. IN ways I still cannot face or talk about. In ways that leaves me unloved and hateful and spiteful. I would love to hurt everyone with suicide and make them feel bad. Times where I was beaten, called horrible names, and hurt in traumatic ways. Its not fair. It's not fair. But I will hurt them all and make them feel bad for making me kill myselfI am always angry about my mom who physically abused me when i was a child. This destroyed my life completely. Furthermore i was heavily bullied in school. I never made a wrong decision, i never took drugs or anything. I never had a chance to become happy. Who destroyed your life?
The people who destroyed my life have a way betther life than me. I deal with suicidality quiet daily and I think it is rather a question of time when it happens. However I am not sure when the perfect time is. I am talkative today so sorry for that.
I think suicide should not be the first option but sometimes it seems for me the only option. This world is extremely unfair. I know many people who suffer due to (sexual) abuse. However i think life is suffering. And for me the answer is better not be born.