Who destroyed your life?

[lyndseylyons1234@gma]

My mother destroyed my life the men that sexual abused me the first husband that beat me and did what he wanted sexually the trauma of loosing people close its never ending i am in a dark place and cant see way out in angry frustrated my husband now like getting blood out of stone getting a conversation out of him but he dosnt struggle talking to others i am working away which have done for 9 years everyone seems to be ok getting on like i am not important dont exist hopefully soon it will stop

 

[painoflife]

My ex boyfriend and myself for being naive and putting myself there. More likely just myself, I hate myself.

 

[Bigpink]

My mother destroyed my life the men that sexual abused me the first husband that beat me and did what he wanted sexually the trauma of loosing people close its never ending i am in a dark place and cant see way out in angry frustrated my husband now like getting blood out of stone getting a conversation out of him but he dosnt struggle talking to others i am working away which have done for 9 years everyone seems to be ok getting on like i am not important dont exist hopefully soon it will stop

So sad to hear.

 

[Tired_Tired]

If there has God. Why no one blamed God. God created humans beings and universe.

 

[Metalhead]

Plain & simple, myself, would be the easiest thing to blame others or events that happened but in the end of the day it's myself that I want to lay any blame on fair & square.

 

[Throwmyselfaway]

parents. More so my dad than my mom

 

[NodusTollens]

Began with my mother: physical & psychological abuse, control- so I had no self-esteem or self-worth, no voice. Loneliness, bullying, having no friends...

High school changed things in that I made a couple of lasting friendships. Off at post-secondary I was physically assaulted & manipulated for 3 years, which culminated in a sexual assault & later, an attempt on my life (same person).

Now, physical pain- so in essence, I fucked up my life. Poor choices once I had the ability to do so.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

OP, Your mother is a prime example of why the majority of people should never be parents, what pure selfishness and disregard for the wellbeing of her child...

For me, my mother ruined my life by giving me up as a baby. My father, by drinking himself to death and leaving behind young children. Doctors, for sexually abusing and hurting me, leaving the imprint of severe trauma that will last a lifetime.

The other men who molested me, especially as a young teenager when I had no idea what was happening, have broken my spirit and ruined my sense of self forever. I will never feel safe again.

 

[Bigpink]

OP, Your mother is a prime example of why the majority of people should never be parents, what pure selfishness and disregard for the wellbeing of her child...

For me, my mother ruined my life by giving me up as a baby. My father, by drinking himself to death and leaving behind young children. Doctors, for sexually abusing and hurting me, leaving the imprint of severe trauma that will last a lifetime.

The other men who molested me, especially as a young teenager when I had no idea what was happening, have broken my spirit and ruined my sense of self forever. I will never feel safe again.

 

[LongNight]

I don't feel like you get to blame other people. I've had lots of trauma in my life, but I don't get to blame those people for me not dealing with it appropriately. That's my choice. I've done really well at times, and that's because I was busting my ass to make it happen. It's up to you how you deal with things, no matter what those things may be.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

I don't feel like you get to blame other people. I've had lots of trauma in my life, but I don't get to blame those people for me not dealing with it appropriately. That's my choice. I've done really well at times, and that's because I was busting my ass to make it happen. It's up to you how you deal with things, no matter what those things may be.

No one should have to deal with the aftermath of abuse, because abuse shouldn't happen. It doesn't need to happen. You shouldn't have had to cope with it and bust ass to try to find a resolution, abusers should be punished especially those who prey on children and vunerable people who have no way of dealing with it. You shouldn't blame yourself for their actions. I certainly will never blame myself for suffering trauma, because I had no choice in being sexually abused as a child, nor my reaction to it. It is not the fault of the victims.

 

[LongNight]

No one should have to deal with the aftermath of abuse, because abuse shouldn't happen. It doesn't need to happen. You shouldn't have had to cope with it and bust ass to try to find a resolution, abusers should be punished especially those who prey on children and vunerable people who have no way of dealing with it. You shouldn't blame yourself for their actions. I certainly will never blame myself for suffering trauma, because I had no choice in being sexually abused as a child, nor my reaction to it. It is not the fault of the victims.

You shouldn't blame yourself for their actions. You should blame yourself if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself because of their actions. I've been abused. I've been raped. It's completely possible to get over it. It's completely possible to wake up and not even think about it. You have complete control over your reaction to it, and that's about all you have control of. That's the only thing you have control of in the entire situation.

 

[painoflife]

You have complete control over your reaction to it

I know what you are saying here but I don't feel I have control over how I react to things. It just happens before I have chance to think about how to react. Sometimes I know afterwards I should feel differently but it still doesn't make the initial feelings go away.

 

[KuriGohan&Kamehameha]

You shouldn't blame yourself for their actions. You should blame yourself if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself because of their actions. I've been abused. I've been raped. It's completely possible to get over it. It's completely possible to wake up and not even think about it. You have complete control over your reaction to it, and that's about all you have control of. That's the only thing you have control of in the entire situation.

I am glad that you were able to get over it, that is amazing that you managed to heal from ptsd when you had so much trauma.

Some of us will never be able to until there are better treatments, but it isn't a matter of feeling sorry for oneself, for a lot of us we have tried our best and there was no relief.

I can accept it happened but it won't make the dehabilitating flashbacks and panic attacks go away, I don't think a lot people's physical responses to trauma can be controlled by mental fortitude. But that's just my experience with ptsd. If it cant be overcome, it is not the victim's fault. Similar to what painoflife said, it is often involuntary.

 

[Teal_Blue_Dreams]

Q: Who destroyed your life?

that is a hilarious response! thanks for making me smile.

I am glad that you were able to get over it, that is amazing that you managed to heal from ptsd when you had so much trauma.

Some of us will never be able to until there are better treatments, but it isn't a matter of feeling sorry for oneself, for a lot of us we have tried our best and there was no relief.

I can accept it happened but it won't make the dehabilitating flashbacks and panic attacks go away, I don't think a lot people's physical responses to trauma can be controlled by mental fortitude. But that's just my experience with ptsd. If it cant be overcome, it is not the victim's fault. Similar to what painoflife said, it is often involuntary.

I understand. Not everyone is the same and it's ok if you process things differently. Do not feel ashamed. I understand.

You shouldn't blame yourself for their actions. You should blame yourself if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself because of their actions. I've been abused. I've been raped. It's completely possible to get over it. It's completely possible to wake up and not even think about it. You have complete control over your reaction to it, and that's about all you have control of. That's the only thing you have control of in the entire situation.

Ouch!

I understand. Not everyone is the same and it's ok if you process things differently. Do not feel ashamed. I understand.

Ouch!

I know what you are saying here but I don't feel I have control over how I react to things. It just happens before I have chance to think about how to react. Sometimes I know afterwards I should feel differently but it still doesn't make the initial feelings go away.

Whatever your reaction is- it's organic and its ok. There are lots of different ways that people cope.

 

[TAW122]

I don't have a particular person, but in general, I'd say my parents, my upbringing, and my adolescence and adulthood and general society.

 

[Wrennie]

My parents. They drugged me and thus destroyed my health, my body, and any prospect of me having a relationship.

I'm so sorry that your mother abused you. No child should ever have to go through what you did. <3

 

[MindFrog]

Me, cause I just gave up. My parents didn't help too..

 

[Puffinz]

I did. I just got tired and gave up.

 

[ugly734]

the world in general, people judge as they are written in genes. Often these are not conscious assessments, they are automatic. Also the world because it shaped my genes in this way, and because it was all a coincidence, I became the embodiment of harm and suffering here, the worst link among people. This is not a reason to hurt others, this is the world, one man succeeds, another looks for a safe place away from people or wants to go away forever.

thanks google translate

 

[Sherri]

I guess I destroyed my life, more than my depression did. I am still picking up the pieces.

 

[Romeo]

I destroyed my life with two very stupid decisions some years ago.

 

[Sherri]

I destroyed my life with two very stupid decisions some years ago.

Same here my fellow op.

 

[justanotherstar]

This ones all on me

 

[wait.what]

I don't even know. A double whammy between my own stupid decisions and some really bad luck, I guess. I'm starting to believe that the question "Whose fault is it?" has no meaning beyond academic curiosity, anyway. Even if some Snidely Whiplash character showed up and said, "ha HA! It was I all along!!" what good would that do? It's not like you can go back to some save point in your life and re-live it, this time without ever saying "Hello" to Mr. Whiplash at that party.

I don't know if it's mental illness or the wisdom of age or both, but I've mostly lost interest in looking for chains of cause and effect. If a butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazon, does it really cause a hurricane in Texas? Who knows? Does it make a difference?

 

[Merlay]

It is so easy to point fingers and blame others. I am here because of the random choices and voluntary actions of other people, and also, because of my own decisions. This is an imperfect world and I understand that we need to experience the opposition of all things. So, there's no one else to blame but me. I am not strong and brave enough to swim through all of this shit. I am drowning.

 

[Bigpink]

I did some things that did not help me. Can't be undone.

 

[Nicebuddimtim]

I built myself a nice little cage
With bars of anger and a lock of rage
I can't help asking who's got the key?
When I know damned well it's me

 

[greyback330]

me

 

[mimiopo22]

me