Which method did you choose the first time you tried it and why did it fail?

[Blueth]

We know what we want, but not how to get it.

What was/are the thing(s) about your first experience that makes you still here now?

Apart from that, if you have had more than one failure and it wouldn't be difficult for you, please share.

 

[pulleditnearlyoff]

Partial hanging, SI is a bitch. I've been doing it for almost a year now, once or twice a week. Last time I almost succeeded. I know I can make it work. It's only a matter of time.

 

[godawfulbuttmunch]

It was in middle school. I tried to hang myself in a school bathroom with my coat sleeves. Of course, this didn't work because I'm a dumb bitch who can't do anything right.

 

[feverinjection]

My first attempt I just took an entire bottle of random pills and cut myself all over.

SI took over. I guess I'm happy it did, because that would've been a really painful & slow death, and may have just ended up with permanent issues instead of dying.

 

[divinemistress36]

When I was 18 I took 2 bottles of Tylenol pm. Of course it failed cause well its Tylenol and my mom found me

 

[BlueCup]

Sleeping pills with alcool but no antiemetics.
I vomited, was brought to the hospital, stayed two months in a psychiatric unit.

 

[Blueth]

My first attempt I just took an entire bottle of random pills and cut myself all over.

SI took over. I guess I'm happy it did, because that would've been a really painful & slow death, and may have just ended up with permanent issues instead of dying.

If the current situation is good for you, I'm glad for you.

The only thing I'm afraid of is failing even with a vertical cut. And in addition to the new psychological impact that will occur as a result of this failure, it may also result in physical problems.

 

[d-tea]

I don't know what would count... first time I was determined to do it, I closed my eyes on a ski lift that was, part of the way, lethally high up above a cliff, got myself together, let go of everything and jumped... into 3ft of snow like 14ft below me. I waited too long, passed the cliff with my eyes closed. Felt very stupid and embarrassed for a long time, but I was only around 13 years old.

If that doesn't count, it was partial a couple of months(years?) later. Typical story, SI kicked in & my method wasn't that great, I was not partaking in any forums or seeking advice anywhere, just kind of tried figuring it out myself.

 

[Alltheywanted]

A few days before my 17th birthday I tried to put my head on train rails but I just couldn't get myself to do it. So ig SI.

 

[terra.nuvo]

When I was 14 I took a bunch of about a handful of aspirin and woke up in the middle of the night with ringing in my ears. I was terrified of permanent damage so I told my mom what I had done and she took me to the hospital.

 

[whywere]

The 1st time was pure emotions and impulse. After finding out that my ex had blown through over 10,000 (USD) in a casino and tried to cover it up, I flipped out and went to a bridge near my place and tried to hang myself. Well, with a cop driving by, never saw him, darn it! he did NOT put on any lights or siren at all, but he called fire/rescue and an ambulance and then pulled me up and the grip he had was out of this world.

My 2nd attempt was also because of my ex and her damn slot machine addiction of blown through tens of thousands and trying to cover it up.

Got rid of her and at least my money headache, but then no one to talk to.

Walter

 

[Moniker]

Between late 2020 and early 2021 I had three or four partial hanging attempts with a belt. It was way more uncomfortable than I had expected.

I live in an area where getting firearms is insanely easy, so I figured that I should probably just shoot myself instead of dealing with a belt digging into my neck.

I haven't gotten to shooting myself yet though. I'll probably give life a couple more years.

 

[lostinwoe]

hanging I tried it 4 times with every partial position it failed because I don't have an actual rope I was using a extension cord

 

[Begotten]

Tried partial hanging twice and also failed on drown myself, every failure makes life looks worse even more.

The 1st time was pure emotions and impulse. After finding out that my ex had blown through over 10,000 (USD) in a casino and tried to cover it up, I flipped out and went to a bridge near my place and tried to hang myself. Well, with a cop driving by, never saw him, darn it! he did NOT put on any lights or siren at all, but he called fire/rescue and an ambulance and then pulled me up and the grip he had was out of this world.

My 2nd attempt was also because of my ex and her damn slot machine addiction of blown through tens of thousands and trying to cover it up.

Got rid of her and at least my money headache, but then no one to talk to.

Walter

And I'm sorry to hear that.
My gambling addiction is what is triggering me to ctb, and I know how it affect people around me like your ex did to you, it really sucks.

 

[Lady Laudanum]

I was 16. I drank roughly half a 750 ml bottle of vodka, because my dad told me to go kill myself when he saw my grades in math class. He told me the amount of alcohol I would need to drink for my body weight (less than 100 pounds), in order to get lethal alcohol poisoning. He then brought a bottle of vodka out, put it on the counter, and went to bed. My mom heard the entire exchange and didn't think it would lead to anything serious, so she didn't even bother to see what was happening. I was still doing well in school in the grand scheme of things but not good enough for my parents to think that I deserved to be alive, apparently.

I decided to go above and beyond, like I was always expected to at everything I did. I tried to drink the entire bottle straight and ended up puking uncontrollably once I got about halfway through. Probably about half of what I drank was actually retained, based on how drunk I felt (I was regularly binge drinking at the time). I still had to go to school the next day and just pretend that nothing happened. It wasn't like anyone at school would have cared anyways.

I obviously failed to CTB, because I puked.

I tried a similar method a year later with vodka and a month's supply of Ativan. This time I took Gravol beforehand. Before trying to CTB, I decided to eat something that I was always too scared to eat (chronic ED, long story), then waited 6 hours for it to digest so that my stomach would be empty. I took Gravol and waited about 30 minutes. Then I took the Ativan and drank the vodka. Obviously, I failed again. This time it was because I apparently walked into my brother's room saying that I was going to die, then collapsed on the floor. I started puking before paramedics arrived and took me to the hospital.

 

[nails]

A little embarrassing, but my first attempt occurred when I was about 8-10 years old? Not exactly sure how old I was, but I was in elementary school. I tried stabbing myself in the stomach with an old, dull kitchen knife. Didn't even break skin, lol.

 

[justletmego_]

I tried eating a load of yew seeds. Probably was never going to work, but I was looking for any way possible I could ctb without my parents knowing I'd left them. Thought that was probably the best way to try.

 

[Blueth]

Thank you for every answer that has been given or will be given to this topic that I opened to avoid making similar mistakes.

As for me...

If we assume that not being conscious is a trial attempt, I can say that I have made a few attempts.

The first one was when I was 1.5 years old and I was about to jump or fall from the second floor balcony.

I learned that it remained an attempt that was thwarted by the shouting of a neighbor on his way to work.

The second occurred when I was 4 or 5 years old, as a result of sleepwalking.

I woke up on top of the wall surrounding the open terrace on the top floor.

Even the fact that the door was locked did not stop my subconscious.
Whatever it was that woke me up (a breeze, a ray of light, a smell) has ruined everything.

I don't know when I got out and how long I was there until I woke up.

And I'll never know.

 

[lovedread]

Sodium nitrite…i was scared ig or some shit lmfao. So I asked my mom to call the cops. Big mistake but whatever

 

[xenny]

hanging. i was already standing on a stool with my sister's freaking jump rope on my neck but got scared that my mom or my sister would find me and this would break their heart

 

[ReflectionOfTrauma]

Partial hanging. That night I've realized I will never succeed at it. On paper everything sounds perfect, but it requires your entire body actively putting force onto your neck. Each time when I had felt dizzy I immediately started untying myself.

With SN I will go to the forest, leave my phone couple miles away from me and try to stay calm as long as possible. Unfortunately I know myself enough to know that there will be lots of crying, prayers and running for my phone to reach out to my mother. Oh well. I hope Xanax will make my journey a little bit easier.

 

[sserafim]

I've only ever tried VSED a few times but I don't really consider them attempts. They failed because I got thirsty and my body was crying out for water. I've also tried water intoxication but it didn't work lol

 

[Timothy7dff]

Took multiple bottles of advil, allergy meds, and pharmaceuticals. I was unconscious for days. Physically never recovered.

1. I steer people away from any pill methods because they don't work and mess you up for life.
2. I have 100% confidence that I can succeed in the future because I pulled the trigger in the past. A lack of information was all I was lacking.
3. F the deep state. F their dead parents.

 

[billie]

My first attempt was an overdose

 

[Raven2]

Paracetamol overdose as a teen, obviously no research done there. 2nd attempt water intoxication

 

[Blueth]

Paracetamol overdose as a teen, obviously no research done there. 2nd attempt water intoxication

I wish it were easy to take any kind of medicine in a certain amount and reach the end.

 

[Red Moon]

I tried hanging as my first attempt but my father saved me.

 

[Forveleth]

I put this in the thread below but I tried to slit my wrists with my nails because I had absolutely no idea how suicide worked.

What's the stupidest unorthodox way you have tried to CTB?

Is there a way that you've tried to CTB that, in hindsight, seemed stupid, unique, or just weird? For me, I took over a gram of DPH (Benadryl). It was extremely traumatizing and painful. I was in full delirium, it's possible I had a seizure but I do not know. The next few days after this...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[Blueth]

I tried hanging as my first attempt but my father saved me.

When you put it that way, it's pretty obvious that he saved you. But you are here. It was the right thing for him. But I guess not for you.

I put this in the thread below but I tried to slit my wrists with my nails because I had absolutely no idea how suicide worked.

The important thing is desire. I'm not sure, but at least hundreds of thousands of people have chosen the wrong method so far. At least I think so.

 

[whywere]

I tried hanging as my first attempt but my father saved me.

I am so glad that you dad saved you.

Being 68 with chronic 24/7 pain and no family nor friends, it is folks like YOU who bring sunshine to me small corner of the world each and every day.

Age is nothing more than a number, as we ALL have ups, downs and everything in-between and YOU are a lovely person who helps me, and I bet others too.

Your post really moved me, as both my attempts involved the aspect of hanging, and you spoke to me and my heart.

Have a great rest of this week.

Walter