Which method did you choose the first time you tried it and why did it fail?

[Alexei_Kirillov]

Tried to trigger cold shock response by throwing myself into a rushing, very cold (near freezing) river with a weighted backpack to make sure my head stayed underwater. Failed because SI went crazy and I swam out of there fast. Plus I had a lot of body fat at the time so I think it insulated me too much.

 

[Dark Moon]

I am so glad that you dad saved you.

Being 68 with chronic 24/7 pain and no family nor friends, it is folks like YOU who bring sunshine to me small corner of the world each and every day.

Age is nothing more than a number, as we ALL have ups, downs and everything in-between and YOU are a lovely person who helps me, and I bet others too.

Your post really moved me, as both my attempts involved the aspect of hanging, and you spoke to me and my heart.

Have a great rest of this week.

Walter

Thank you for your kind words. I hope you have a great week too.

 

[tsumihoroboshi]

my first attempt was embarrassing cus i didn't really do anything, it involved walking into traffic but i lived in the middle of nowhere at the time so that method didn't really........ work.

my second attempt i took every pill i had in the house and tried to empty the bottles, me and my mom aren't used to ever going to the hospital for things unless it was asthma related so when i couldn't vomit up the pills we tried to go to the psychward again but my insurance had them reject me so i just had to sit there in my room for a week or longer with those pills in my system having me make a slew of bad decisions waiting for the effects to go away.

going to a hospital or getting my stomach pumped weren't even ideas for us to have considered back then bcus of how we lived. it was miserable.

 

[carac]

I drank some bleach. I was only about 14 so I didn't really know anything, I only drank about a table spoon, I thought it would be enough to kill me, didn't even give me a stomach ache.

 

[DeathWish3301]

We know what we want, but not how to get it.

What was/are the thing(s) about your first experience that makes you still here now?

Apart from that, if you have had more than one failure and it wouldn't be difficult for you, please share.

I've attempted so many times, it's difficult to remember which was my first.

I believe it was when I tried to OD on Xanax and alcohol. Ended up sleeping for almost 24 hours, experienced some paranoia and tiredness for a bit after.

Countless times at partial hanging from various points; guess I wasn't doing it right because it was just like being choked. Hurt, a lot. Never got anywhere close to losing consciousness. SI would kick in.

OD on prescription anti anxiety and depression medications. Three bottles worth. Had to drink activated charcoal in the ER to purge my stomach.

CO poisoning with charcoal in my car or sealed room. Used alcohol almost every time to reduce SI and help me drift to sleep. Got horribly sick and vomited most times, the others the burning of my eyes and throat got to be too much.

I really suck at CTB.

 

[EvisceratedJester]

My first attempt failed so miserably that it's just comedic. Tried cutting an artery but the knife was too blunt so it didn't even break the skin. It's funny because my mom kept on going on and on about how sharp that knife was and how I should be careful when using it at the time, lol. It was blunt as fuck.

After that, I tried ODing twice and, more recently, I've tried hanging myself several times.

 

[Blueth]

I've attempted so many times, it's difficult to remember which was my first.

I believe it was when I tried to OD on Xanax and alcohol. Ended up sleeping for almost 24 hours, experienced some paranoia and tiredness for a bit after.

Countless times at partial hanging from various points; guess I wasn't doing it right because it was just like being choked. Hurt, a lot. Never got anywhere close to losing consciousness. SI would kick in.

OD on prescription anti anxiety and depression medications. Three bottles worth. Had to drink activated charcoal in the ER to purge my stomach.

CO poisoning with charcoal in my car or sealed room. Used alcohol almost every time to reduce SI and help me drift to sleep. Got horribly sick and vomited most times, the others the burning of my eyes and throat got to be too much.

I really suck at CTB.

It is very difficult to live with the fear of biology rejecting our wishes at some point, and the fear of failing and not dying in many respects, rather than the fear of dying. I don't know what I can say for you. I hope the peace you desire is near.

My first attempt failed so miserably that it's just comedic. Tried cutting an artery but the knife was too blunt so it didn't even break the skin. It's funny because my mom kept on going on and on about how sharp that knife was and how I should be careful when using it at the time, lol. It was blunt as fuck.

After that, I tried ODing twice and, more recently, I've tried hanging myself several times.

My first thought was to stab my jugular vein or my heart. But I didn't do it because of the fear of failure. However, the heaviness I feel in my heart sometimes still makes me want to stick a knife there.

I hope the peace you desire is near.

 

[sorrowful]

Classic impulsive overdose. Self-explanatory, I did not know what I was doing and I was completely all over the place. I think in the moment it was more a cry for help than anything. Panicked and called an ambulance.

 

[whywere]

Classic impulsive overdose. Self-explanatory, I did not know what I was doing and I was completely all over the place. I think in the moment it was more a cry for help than anything. Panicked and called an ambulance.

I am so very glad that you are here and helping to make my day so much brighter and better. I also hope in some small way I can help also.

At the age of 68, having good friends that have pure hearts, lots of love and caring is what it is all about and you are such a shining example.

We are ALL family here, no matter life's path, and thank you for being a friend to/for me.

Lots of hugs and caring love.

Walter

 

[sorrowful]

I am so very glad that you are here and helping to make my day so much brighter and better. I also hope in some small way I can help also.

At the age of 68, having good friends that have pure hearts, lots of love and caring is what it is all about and you are such a shining example.

We are ALL family here, no matter life's path, and thank you for being a friend to/for me.

Lots of hugs and caring love.

Walter

You're such a sweet soul, this message honestly warmed my heart!

Sending much love back, I hope today is kind to you.

 

[MikUma]

okay this is. so dumb but i was like 12 so its irrelevant but i tried to eat all of my melatonin gummies, obvi it didnt work and i was frustrated.
idk if this counts but when i was in elementary school, maybe third grade, before i had internet access, i tried to put a plastic bag over my head but my mom ran in and found me and took it off. i guess i was dis appointed but idk if i knew what i was doing or not.