Venting When your family is no longer enough to keep you alive

[BlooBerryBanjo3000]

My family was one of the main reasons to keep me going (they are good people), but even that line is drawing thinner and thinner each day. I'm getting (or have gotten) to the point where I don't even care anymore. I'm so tired and just done with life (with it in general, not my life).

I think about how my death would impact my family all the time. Yet, I still want to die anyway. They have done so much for me and supported me throughout my life (they continue to do so and I sincerely appreciated it), and this is how I repay them in the end. I have a nice life. Yet, I don't care/want it. Talk about being ungrateful.

 

[cemeteryismyhome]

Your post resonates with me. My family situation is maybe kind of reversed, in that, I have people who depend on me, instead of people who have done things for me, but it's the same because it involves ties and connections and impact on others. And I relate to the line drawing thinner. I sometimes slip gears into realizing that everything is over when I'm gone, including my concerns, so it really doesn't matter. When I'm in that state of mind I'm close to checking out, but it doesn't last.

 

[Tired_of_myself]

My family was one of the main reasons to keep me going (they are good people), but even that line is drawing thinner and thinner each day. I'm getting (or have gotten) to the point where I don't even care anymore. I'm so tired and just done with life.

I think about how my death would impact my family all the time. Yet, I still want to die anyway. They have done so much for me and supported me throughout my life (and I have sincerely appreciated it), and this is how I repay them in the end. I have a nice life. Yet, I don't care/want it. Talk about being ungrateful.

I can relate to that… last night I was such in a bad place of mind that I was thinking of a method would be less hurtful for my girlfriend… she is the best, but my life has no real meaning to me… i have to do it in a place no family can find me first…

I can feel something changing inside of me now - I have to ctb for real this time. My path to recovery seems so delusional to me after all these years…

My real last try was in the beginning of 2024, I tried partial but was found… my life became pretty bad there - meds, docs, no alone time… well, docs said I was better and now life has hit me again…

Things are good you know? Life is ok, but no meaning. everyday is a struggle to find something to hold on

 

[22yearsbroken]

I guess in a way im lucky in that sense ...i dont have any one that depends on me. No family i speak to.. not spoken to my sister in over 10 years. The odd email from my dad who lives on the other side of world with his new family and not seen him in about 15 years mum Passed 30 years ago dont speak with any family cousins etc and crap so.. yeah i guess that makes it a hell of a lot easier .. my partner is aware im here and she understands the pain i live with so.. its kinda one of those for for me...