when you think about taking your own life, how do you feel?

[LonelyPrince]

this thought was heavy on my mind this morning. when i think about my suicide, i start thinking about how everyone around me would feel, the funeral, autopsy, everything. i feel relief, but i also can't help feeling a little bit of sadness and fear for what's after this.

disappointment but also relief

 

[snow leopard]

When i think about being dead i feel relieved. This planet is cursed and i want just to leave, but can't while my mom is alive. It would probably suck for my sister but we are not really that close, she comes home for holidays but works in different country, have a boyfriend and a job so complete opposite of me. She don't understand how i feel but i think she would get over it.

 

[interna]

guilty because i will ruin my loved ones' lives. relieved because it'll be over.

 

[silenthill3]

Mixed bag of emotions but comfort for sure.

 

[VoidBlessed]

Scared but excited. Since I learned what death was all I've ever truly wanted was to know what's on the other side.

 

[kitkat9234]

Mostly scared. Scared of failing, scared of the dying process with SN, scared about what happens if I'm sucessful, where will I go?

Worried about my daughter even though she wants nothing to do with me and is better off without me. Feeling shitty about leaving my affairs for my mom to settle out.

I wish I could just turn my brain off and just do it already. Or get to the point where I no longer care.

 

[kuroshimi]

I have very mixed feelings. Of course, it fascinates me in some way, because I won't have to worry about anything in file anymore. But at the same time I feel scared and guilty for my family and friends. The main things that really bothers me is that life will continue, just not for me. And I guess because of it my pain will pass to my family and friends and they will have to deal with it.

 

[metfan647]

Relief. It'd make me a bit sad years back but I think that was just the bit of delusional ego left in me which had some vain hope I could amount to something.

 

[amor.dor]

I feel good because I know I won't have any more wear and tear in my life, no worries about the future, the economy, violence... and I will go in peace, because my method is to drink and die quickly.

My family will miss me, but their lives won't stop because I die — that's what I hope. Since it's been a year since I moved and I only respond on weekends, I think it will take a while for them to realize I'm dead. I was never very close to my family anyway. The only person I truly loved very much is already gone.
Every day I look at my method, until I stop feeling any anxiety.

 

[Obliviate]

When I slashed my left wrist in prison there was nothing on my mind I just laid there and watched the blood come out, there was loads of it, I should say I have no empathy due to a brain injury. This will explain why I had no thoughts as for feelings, I felt at peace for the first time in my life. Then I must have passed out. Little did I know my cell mate had signed up for kitchen duty without telling me. So the guards got a shock when they opened the door at 6:30 the next morning, it was chaos. So thanks dick head if it wasn't for you I wouldn't be here now. I will never forget that feeling of peacefulness though it felt so nice and I'm just gutted I'm still here. This is what we have to look forward to nothingness and peace as we turn to dust.

You felt peace when you slit your wrist and laid there? I guess I could see it

 

[gasforme]

AI helped me write a nicer part of my note that it feels like controlling your own destiny

 

[itsgone2]

I feel horrible about it. I was supposed to do more. People rely on me. Family.

I pushed everyone away. And worse things. Now i realize the right way to live and it's too late. Damage done. Death is the escape? Just awful.

 

[fadedghost]

Just sad

I had a lot of potential and my life has been ruined and wasted. I could try to do something meaningful before death, but I am so tired, I just want to give up.

I hope I am not around two years from now.

 

[Phil_UK]

this thought was heavy on my mind this morning. when i think about my suicide, i start thinking about how everyone around me would feel, the funeral, autopsy, everything. i feel relief, but i also can't help feeling a little bit of sadness and fear for what's after this.

That depends when I am asked. Sometimes I am eager for it to happen sometimes I get lost in the justification I have for it. I have thought about the philosophy of it. The world is a far different place to how it is now. But I am now completely socially isolated. I have really no one to talk to. And I have been on my own so long I cannot even remember having a kiss, that is hard. Not only have the abusers stolen designs and engineering from me, but they have enforced my loliness. So I guess there is an inevitably aspect, and so I aim to make it a pleasurable as possible.

 

[persepexa]

I feel sad honestly. I had a lot of potential and I just threw it away. I could have had a nice life but instead I went to prison and ruined everything. It still doesn't feel real 2 years later to even say that but it's true. I was in prison. I have a criminal record. The guilt and shame consume me. I look at other people my age and they have normal things, jobs, friends, relationships. Thing I'll never have now. I don't want to live this life. I just want to disappear.

 

[mywayout]

a bit sad that things turned out this way, but i'm sick of feeling awful. it's been years now.

it would probably be a bit easier on the very few people who still care about me if i gradually distanced myself from them. time will pass and when i go they may feel a bit sad but not too much.

everything will be okay...

 

[DeadManLiving]

Mixed emotions. Relief. Dismal.On balance, a huge relief.

 

[lpdsvm]

I feel that I will disturb everyone more or less depending on the location. Possible missed opportunities (unlikely but technically there might be one). I feel like doing that will show those in power, i.e, those who can influence my life that they finally won, but I made my choice and I don't need any of these trifles. Some people might get sad and some might be jealous if the news doesn't cover up the real cause of death.

Rather calm. Thinking of the pain completely stopping. I do not fit in as it is so there is no need to pretend to try and fit in with everyday normal people.
Thinking of all the resources that I will free up for someone else when I die. There are so many positives to think about compared to the negatives.
In the end it will be a huge relief for me and my family as they can see me suffering big time mentally and psychically with my eating disorder.

Oooh. Very similar to mine. I feel it a little bit like that too because I also feel fed up. But I do not feel like I will free up any significant resources. I feel like they will not even notice I existed (only for a few hours to a day). I assume that all the resources I could have gotten in my life would have been missused (maybe even gambled). I know respected people who would gamble big money that their own important-to-society businesses generated. Their employees were financially endangered.

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

Great relief to finally escape this hell. Ultimate victory of all time

 

[Sweet Tart]

It varies. The only people who I think will care if I'm gone are my best friend and my therapist. I'm pretty sure my family expects me to opt out at some point. Idk if they realize I've been hovering around that point for years now. I don't want my best friend to feel abandoned. I don't want my therapist (we've been working closely for years) to have to deal with losing a clieint this way.

From my pov, I'm just a rotting piece of flesh that no one wants to be responsible for & can barely take care of myself. Do people really see a living human? I just want peace and silence. I don't want to exist in this world, certainly not in this faulty, flesh husk that requires so much upkeep.

 

[InevitableDeath]

relief.

 

[Unlucky777]

Relief

Comfort

Hope

Peace

Serenity/tranquility

Freedom

Release

Escape

Those words come to mind. Just need to make it all happen now