When no one understands

[anng]

My entire life has been shit. My dad was a drug using, cheating, abusive ass fuck. I'm gonna be 44 in august. I had a son die from SIDS when I was 21. My depression went completely down hill and I have faked my way to normalcy to this age.

Today is Easter and it seems faker than ever to believe in the whole "he has risen" around my family.

Religion has always been strong in my family. I hate my life sooo much I found zero meaning behind it. But my bf thinks I'm full of shit and thinks I'm crazy cuz I don't believe in god.

Honestly the reason I stay alive is for my dogs. My daughters are 24 and 20. My daughters have their own lives.

I have zero motivation, I work to pay my bills. My bf is obsessed with fitness he thinks depression is "get over it" type.

 

[WornOutLife]

You're certainly deadling with a lot, pal. I'm really sorry to hear this.
Just like you, my dog is my only reason for staying in this world. Well, my dad too. There's nobody else who loves me and as them.

 

[mochi_]

My family was abusive.

They used to flay me. Beat me. Pour hot water or buckets of ice over me, you name it. They are the ones who laughed in my face for having yet "another failure" on my belt when my attempt failed.

And you know what they always used to say?

"God always answers MY prayers!"

So apparently, the very same God who ignored all my pleas to save me, had the time to go over their job applications, helped them find the keys just at the right time, so on.

So we have two possibilities here. Either he doesn't exist, or he doesn't deserve worship and admiration. I chose to believe in the former.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

I'm so sorry you feel like that. Thay empty, hollow, just....void that sucks all the joy out of everything and leaves the world a dull grey place is a beast.