When do you think you’ll ctb?

[DontMindMe187]

Hopefully on the 31st

 

[WOODESITY]

i feel like i need some things sorted before i go, and reconsider my methods, i have strong desire to die by hypothermia, i may wait for this winter, i was thinking yesterday that i don't wanna live past year 27, i said similar to myself years ago, here i am, so disappointed i stayed this long in this life

 

[zapffes_son]

I'm going to try recovery yet again, so I'm deleting my account.

 

[Tortured_empath]

I'm not sure.

 

[Alcatraz_anthrax]

next month. SN.

 

[WrongPlaceWrongTime]

I'd give it about 5 years at most (Graduating college and getting a job so I can get an apartment). If I fail this or any other semester, I'll be catching the early bus.

 

[Journeytoletgo]

I give it anytime between October and august 2022 I'm free to go at anytime at that point the only thing that can hold me back is fear at that point

 

[lastingabyss]

If I haven't done it by the end of this year, then it'll most likely be in the next 2/3 years. I wish I had the courage to do it earlier.

 

[Alec]

I have the rope ready. I'm waiting for a really bad day. Either a fight with the family or losing my job.

Or a day where I am really bored and it all seems so pointless. Until then I'll be blowing my money on nice food.

That's a good plan, to spend money on nice food, that's what I'm doing right now too, not too much because still can't afford a lot but I allow myself to buy some tasty food I always wanted tans always refused myself before. I don't really like eating or food but when I get hungry - good tasty food is a nice treat. Even if the pleasure lasts just for a little while. I love you

 

[Deadlyroses]

I really hope to do it before my upcoming 26th birthday. It's just a few weeks away. SN is the plan. Hoping SI doesn't get in my way this time.

 

[Randomgin]

I hope to do it September 10th, as kinda an irony thing since its national suicide prevention day. I think itll be funny in my messed up head to die on that day

 

[bunnies]

i'm not quite sure yet, but i don't think it'll be too much longer. i just started another low paying dead end job and it really occurred to me that i messed up my life so badly that i am never going to make a livable income. i just got in a car accident and i'm cruising more in debt. i can't afford my psychiatrist right now and am close to being low on meds, i also don't know w my other healthcare costs including insulin. it's just so expensive trying to be alive when i don't even like being here and i don't have any kind of good future ahead of me

 

[Avril]

Before the end of the year.

 

[WillSterben]

Between now and December

 

[HelloAllYouPeople]

That's a good plan, to spend money on nice food, that's what I'm doing right now too, not too much because still can't afford a lot but I allow myself to buy some tasty food I always wanted tans always refused myself before. I don't really like eating or food but when I get hungry - good tasty food is a nice treat. Even if the pleasure lasts just for a little while. I love you

Aw man haha you made me cry a bit. Thanks for that, I'm just having a terrible night. That cheered me up :)

 

[deadverysoon]

as soon as i have all things together to make it 100% safe to die without ugly panic or pain.

getting the correct chemicals is not that easy how i thought it would be...

 

[nopointofliving]

Probably at the end of the year

 

[316]

My plan is to ctb within the next few months, worst case I don't see any chance of me being here this time next year

 

[Hurt]

I haven't set a date. Guess I would do it impulsively. This will destroy my family but I can't take it anymore. This is the deepest I can fall.

 

[MeltedJello]

Don't have a date planned however, I will attempt to hang myself every time an opportunity presents itself. Had two chances this summer but survival instinct really gets in the way.

 

[Jumping_realms]

Every other attempt has been impulsive, so I don't know to be honest. I've had 3 serious attempts and 1 partial that I stood up when I blacked out on, all in the past few years.

It's now always building up in me, essentially 24/7.

Every other attempt has been impulsive, so I don't know to be honest. I've had 3 serious attempts and 1 partial that I stood up when I blacked out somehow, all in the past few years.

It's always building up in me, essentially 24/7.

More than half of us wouldn't stick to plans to do it on/before a certain date, anyhow, from what I've seen and experienced.

 

[Seiba]

On a landmark birthday of mine after my mother dies and my novel has been successfully published. (I am thinking of 60, 65, 70 — I hope it is not 75 or 80! I cannot do it on my 55th birthday, which is next month: Mom is still very much alive and I have so much I want to do before I ctb). I would probably hang myself in a room at a nice beachside hotel on the Southern California coast if I can afford it.

What genre of novel? And what will it be about?

 

[Maravillosa]

@Seiba It is an alternate history novel set in the world of British politics from 1912 to 1948: the point of divergence from our historical timeline is in May 1915. A chain of events occurs in my novel so that the Great War ends in 1915 and there is no World War II. The protagonist is Venetia Stanley, a willful and impetuous aristocratic socialite (and actual historical figure). Below is a 500-word, one-page synopsis of my novel:

In January 1912, Violet Asquith and Venetia Stanley, best friends and secret lesbian lovers, visit Sicily with Violet's father, British Prime Minister H. H. Asquith, and Edwin Montagu (a young Liberal MP and protégé of Asquith). Both Asquith and Edwin fall in love with Venetia. After they return to the UK, Asquith grooms Venetia towards a sexual relationship. Venetia is simultaneously flattered (she is pleased to have the most powerful man in the world infatuated with her) and repelled (Asquith is 35 years Venetia's senior). By July 1912, Asquith has begun an intimate affair with Venetia.

Venetia finds herself caught between Asquith, Edwin, and Violet. Edwin proposes marriage to Venetia: she declines since she does not love Edwin and because Edwin will lose his inheritance if he marries a Gentile. However, Venetia remains friends with Edwin, who still hopes he will eventually marry Venetia.

When war breaks out in August 1914, Asquith's letters to Venetia—already long and frequent—arrive at least daily. Besides proclamations of love, Asquith reveals state secrets to Venetia and asks for her political advice. Overwhelmed and frightened by Asquith's neediness, Venetia attempts to put a brake on her relationship with Asquith by training as a VAD nurse. When that does not deter Asquith, Venetia accepts Edwin's marriage proposal, even though she would have to convert to Judaism. However, Venetia holds off from telling Asquith about her engagement.

On the evening of May 4, 1915, Asquith discovers Venetia and Violet having sex. (This is the point of divergence from our historical timeline.) Asquith is horrified: he realizes too late that he seduced Venetia because he had suppressed his incestuous lust for Violet. In retaliation for Asquith's tantrum when he discovered Venetia was Violet's lover and Edwin's fiancée, Venetia impulsively gives to Lord Northcliffe, the anti-Asquith publisher of the Daily Mail, the letters Asquith wrote to her. Although Venetia almost immediately regrets it, Northcliffe publishes extensive extracts from Asquith's letters to Venetia. This sparks a scandal and Asquith is under pressure to resign because he violated the Official Secrets Act 1911. Instead, Asquith shoots himself.

Venetia's father, Lord Sheffield, forces Venetia, who is now lambasted as a femme fatale, to exile herself on the Stanley family estate on the Welsh island of Anglesey. Edwin jilts Venetia. Venetia becomes a philanthropist for the people of Anglesey. In 1939, Cicely Asquith, a (fictional) granddaughter of the late prime minister and Somerville student who is writing a history thesis on her grandfather's downfall, contacts Venetia. To avenge herself on the Asquith family, Venetia seduces Cicely, but soon Venetia becomes genuinely fond of her. Cicely, who becomes a diplomat and novelist, is torn between her deep Catholic faith (Cicely's mother had converted to Catholicism and raised her children in that church) and her lesbianism. In May 1947, Cicely throws herself from the Empire State Building. Shortly afterwards, Venetia discovers she is dying of breast cancer. Violet, who has become a prominent Liberal MP, reconciles with Venetia shortly before Venetia's death in August 1948.

 

[BeansOfRequirement]

Probably two/three years or something, my mental stability keeps increasing (has probably doubled since I joined the forum, meds were still in effect and probably still are to some extent) so anything impulsive is more or less impossible for me. This means I am more likely to be picky about methods and have a bias toward sitting things out.

I am also fairly young so I guess that almost automatically makes me want to wait a bit longer.

 

[Seiba]

@Seiba It is an alternate history novel set in the world of British politics from 1912 to 1948: the point of divergence from our historical timeline is in May 1915. A chain of events occurs in my novel so that the Great War ends in 1915 and there is no World War II. The protagonist is Venetia Stanley, a willful and impetuous aristocratic socialite (and actual historical figure). Below is a 500-word, one-page synopsis of my novel:

I see, best of luck with it. It seems you've put in a decent amount of effort so far.

 

[Bicalu]

2 years

 

[FailureGirl]

In about 50 days that's when iv got a hotal room booked so I don't get interrupted.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I don't have a firm date in mind. Definitely before I hit 40. It would be nice to outlive my parents [Dad died at 50, Mom at 59] as a fuck you to them, but that's not worth a few more decades of this BS existence.

When the time comes, I'll know.

 

[Seiba]

In about 50 days that's when iv got a hotal room booked so I don't get interrupted.

Anything specific planned to make the fifty days more tolerable, or mostly just going to live normally? You're also fine with not answering either of those questions if you would prefer it being private.

 

[FailureGirl]

Anything specific planned to make the fifty days more tolerable, or mostly just going to live normally? You're also fine with not answering either of those questions if you would prefer it being private.

I'm going to spend as much time with family and talking to my bestfriend as possible and try to finish some animes. I have and will listen to alot of music to keep distracted when needed.

Im also taking my time writing notes for people but it's difficult.

When I decided I was definitely going to ctb and picked a roundabout date I had 110 days so iv made it past the halfway point and times going fast.
In my case life feels calmer knowing it will be over soon.