April 2021. A bacterial infection called Bartonella entered my brain and killed the old me. Possibly also have neurological Lyme disease. Lost my long-term relationship, my stepchildren, my home, ability to work, my future, and my soul. Friends all faded away. I live life on the bleeding edge of survival in between terror/panic attacks that are caused by the bacteria in an increasingly agoraphobic horror show of constant PTSD, invasive obsessive rumination, insomnia, a comical circus show of involuntary physiological and neuropsychiatric symptoms, inconsolable heartbreak and grief, resentment and bitterness toward my ex and the poisonous cast of characters around her and her kids' father, and suicidal nihilism. I'm a shell of a human being played like a marionette by colonies of bacteria inside of my brain and central nervous system.