Whats your guys reason to ctb

[cali22♡]

I had a very hard time with my social life as well as my home life. i was bullied a lot at school and then started self-harming at home. i also live a transsexual life and can't do this openly which has caused me severe depression and suicidal thoughts. i have also had several ctb attempts which has also driven me crazy. . . And many more things I can't talk about


love you all

 

[holdont1llmay]

Long term trauma, theres too much of it for me to even cope. Other than that, my failure to meet my goals and standards, like the smashing pumpkins said I wanted more than life could ever grant me.

 

[OverBeforeItBegan]

Long time reader First time poster. Ive got my plan it involves peru and horse tranquilizer. I want a CTB . What is best site do this

 

[maynoname]

I don't see the point of life. I don't like to be here. I just want it to end. I'm always anxious and depressed.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

Life simply isn't worth it for me. 99% of humans have to do so much effort for so little reward. I believe that I deserve better than this life and what's better is death since it's impossible to suffer whilst being dead. Life isn't meant for me as I can't, nor do I want to, deal with wage slavery and responsibilities. Additionally, life is just so boring for me and I don't enjoy anything due to anhedonia. All I do is done to pass time, not because I enjoy it. A life where you don't ever enjoy anything and only suffer isn't worth it

 

[nattanatta]

Recurrent depression, anxiety, constant feelings of loneliness and being unwanted, always failing to reach any of the goals that likely would've made life actually worth living.

 

[hereornot]

I believe it is a combination of reasons. I started thinking about this a few years ago after losing everything I had built to save my mother's life, alone, without the help of any other family member. I tried to rebuild but I entered a cycle of self-destruction.

Then the pandemic came and made everything worse. To make matters worse, everyone I have relationships with deceives me, from co-workers, my lawyer and even my brother. I can't trust anyone or have relationships.

It screwed my self-esteem and my mental health.

I lost my father 2 years ago and he was the most important person to me.

To top it off, I wasn't very careful online, I fell for scams and virtual attacks, one of which was decisive in deciding CTB, as they took control of my phone and computer, threatened me and demanded around 1 million dollars. I panicked.

Since then I've been unable to even work.

There was a chance to start over, but I took a blow from my own brother and my lawyer who took care of my issues.

There isn't enough time to live for me to restart from 0.

I would die before I even recovered what I lost. So I just have to accept that it's over. And have everything well planned to catch the bus.

 

[Marishku]

I have seen terrible things that will not let me go. so ctb is my only way to be free

 

[emptydreams]

I wanna feel less alone, mine is mostly due to my abusive parents and that fact my sister died but also I just hate living genuinely, idk how to explain it

honestly? life isn't getting any better. i keep hoping the more goals i reach the better i'll feel, and i don't. i've had a shit past and it hasn't gotten easier. idk how much longer i can hold onto the pipe dream that there will be a better future :/

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Society has gone to shit, I can't stand people, tired of working.

 

[Alessio]

Essere stanco della vita penso sia una buona ragione per ctb, poi per quanto mi riguarda la mia vita fa schifo, tutto quello che ho provato a fare ho fallito, nella vita ho avuto sfortuna ma ho anche fatto delle scelte sbagliate che hanno contribuito alla mia infelicità

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

All of them everything in life / existence and this evil world. i can't separate the supposedly good things or supposedely pleasurable or "important " things from the most extreme torture the most horrible things as they are both part of the same evil , you can't cherry pick "I'll just sit here eating and watching clickbait youtube videos and nothing bad will ever happen to me" yeah right. like if eating or youtube garbage is worth the most unbearable pain etc.


I want to die for many reasons.

To avoid or skip unbearable pain, extreme suffering, terrible problems , old age, work , chores, oppression ,diseases, .lies , scams , Injustice 1000 other horrible things

A lot of these reasons to want to die sim up on top of each other

Life is meaningless suffering

Life is an imposition, an evil prison, torture slavery . So is this world. I want to escape the layers of prisons the prison of this evil life and evil world

Many more reasons

I don't get it how humans can separate the supposedly enjoyable crap like watching youtube TV, watching nature, eating, from the most horrible things and most extreme torture . U can't cherry pick . They are both part of the same evil

I wouldn't want to live in this hell under any circumstances even if I had a so called average life

What i want is non-existence. What can be better than non-existence? to have no problems , no responsibilities , no chance of extreme pain, zero suffering, no chance of anything bad happening not having to do anything ever again and i'm just getting started on the benefits of non-existence forever. no unbearable pain , no getting old ,no worries no stress , no chance of extreme suffering. to me non-existence is the best thing by a trillion times better than anything because non-existence is everything life and this world isn't and this life and world are evil . i don't want any part of this evil life and evil prison world .

i'm just getting started but tired maybe i'll add to this post later.

 

[future_angel]

not the person i should be

i feel this deeply

I had a very hard time with my social life as well as my home life. i was bullied a lot at school and then started self-harming at home. i also live a transsexual life and can't do this openly which has caused me severe depression and suicidal thoughts. i have also had several ctb attempts which has also driven me crazy. . . And many more things I can't talk about


love you all

yes being a trans woman feels impossible a lot of the time idk how the other girls do it... hoping we can heal from all the trauma this world has unfairly put onto us

 

[lifeisbutadream]

Pain. Relentless physical pain.

 

[trappedinthislife]

It would be the ultimate sacrifice - my parents are abusive af, I live with depression that only worsen with time, and it'll benefit my parents and siblings, no matter how much they try to decline it.

My dad died to lung cancer. Ever since my family have had to live on a lower income source. I thought that if I CTB, that's one less person for Mom to worry about. Then she can focus on giving my siblings the best life they can get.

It's a win for all if you think about it. I get to fly to the peaceful land of death, where there's no one yelling at me, no bills to pay, no one to annoy me. My mom has more money to enjoy her life and take care of her family (her parents and my two siblings, and her disabled sister). My siblings get to enjoy better care now that my mom doesn't have to spend resources on me anymore.

This is the solution. It'll solve the dysfunctional issue with my family. It's literally a W for everyone involved. Including me.

Everyone just don't see. This is taking one life to save five.

Sure I can fight on. Maybe 10 or so more years I'll be free from my parents' chain and live my life, and heal. But why do that? I know that after this there will just be more stuff to worry about. All that pain and strife for what?

I think people are deplorable. I can't stand being around people. Not because they don't like me, almost everyone I meet likes me actually. In person speaking with them is like torture. The whining complaining and talking about nonsense all of the time. It's obvious part of the talking is them lying and pretending at least it seems that way to me. Dude if I was rich I'd live in rural Japan on a farm house. I'd have my pets and nobody could talk to me because I wouldn't learn Japanese and they don't know English in the rural areas.

Oh my god this so much. yeah I can't stand people either, not even those who "love" me. My dream would be to just live somewhere rural, maybe get a RV and just live that van down by the river life. Just thinking about it makes my heart warm.

 

[outrider567]

Death of longtime girlfriend 2.5 years ago

 

[Degen]

mentally ill loser that can't find a job, my resume is trash

 

[Satan]

I wanna feel less alone, mine is mostly due to my abusive parents and that fact my sister died but also I just hate living genuinely, idk how to explain it

Yea my mother is abusive too and yet everyday I do things for her bc she is my "mother." It used to be tolerable and now it's getting worse and worse, I feel like I don't live for myself, and I don't enjoy living.

 

[deathtakeme]

Social isolation, brain fried, abandoned my future to do the first 2.

 

[InTheAbyss]

It's a long list of reasons. But a big part of it is the autism/asperger's and all the effects it has on me and my life. I became consciously aware that I wasn't meant for this world just after I turned 7 when I hung myself with a skipping rope. I just kinda did it on instinct. But the rope broke and I survived. It was years later that I had words for what I did and felt.

But recently. I've spent a little over the last two and a half years trying to get approved for euthanasia in my country for my condition. But all my attempts have failed so far. The doctor's reasoning for denying it being the same things that I'm apply for it for. That and that they said that I'm smart and it'd be a waste of potential which kind of hurt more than the rest. Like being smart magically protects you from suffering.

If I can't get it done officially. It's time to start working on CTB myself.