What’s there behind suicide thoughts?

[Waiting for death]

I've been feeling suicidal for five years. I don't really know the genesis of all of this ugly self destructive thoughts. I just feel hopeless and I don't know what I am supposed to do in this world. I believe that living is a suffering.

 

[reallysleepy]

For me thinking about suicide is a way of scaping my problems, it makes me feel in control of my life and I find comfort in having a way out of this life I hate. Maybe the question shouldn't be "why do I want to ctb" and instead be "why do I suffer" or "why do I hate living".

If you are trying to find meaning and maybe stop being suicidal I recommend, from my personal experience, going to therapy (if you can). Keep in mind that if they think you'll ctb soon they may intern you in a psych ward.

I say I recommend therapy but I'm still suicidal lol. I recommend it because it has helped me find meaning to a lot of emotions and intrusive thoughts. However, now that I want to ctb sooner rather than later, I'm finding myself lying and pretending to be better so I don't get locked up.

I hope you can find peace of mind and answers soon ❤

 

[CPY]

My severe incurable ocd and anxiety that took away from me the refuge that was my own mind.Also the dread of thinking what will happen to me once my parents won't be there to support me and I will be left to fend for myself

 

[Waiting for death]

For me thinking about suicide is a way of scaping my problems, it makes me feel in control of my life and I find comfort in having a way out of this life I hate. Maybe the question shouldn't be "why do I want to ctb" and instead be "why do I suffer" or "why do I hate living".

If you are trying to find meaning and maybe stop being suicidal I recommend, from my personal experience, going to therapy (if you can). Keep in mind that if they think you'll ctb soon they may intern you in a psych ward.

I say I recommend therapy but I'm still suicidal lol. I recommend it because it has helped me find meaning to a lot of emotions and intrusive thoughts. However, now that I want to ctb sooner rather than later, I'm finding myself lying and pretending to be better so I don't get locked up.

I hope you can find peace of mind and answers soon ❤

For me thinking about suicide is a way of scaping my problems, it makes me feel in control of my life and I find comfort in having a way out of this life I hate. Maybe the question shouldn't be "why do I want to ctb" and instead be "why do I suffer" or "why do I hate living".

If you are trying to find meaning and maybe stop being suicidal I recommend, from my personal experience, going to therapy (if you can). Keep in mind that if they think you'll ctb soon they may intern you in a psych ward.

I say I recommend therapy but I'm still suicidal lol. I recommend it because it has helped me find meaning to a lot of emotions and intrusive thoughts. However, now that I want to ctb sooner rather than later, I'm finding myself lying and pretending to be better so I don't get locked up.

I hope you can find peace of mind and answers soon ❤

I believe I don't need therapist help, I can overcome everything on my own. Firstly, l I can not afford an appointment and secondly it's not cheap. Being a poor loser sucks !!!

 

[reallysleepy]

I believe I don't need therapist help, I can overcome everything on my own. Firstly, l I can not afford an appointment and secondly it's not cheap. Being a poor lose sucks !!!

Yes, it's fucked up how expensive it can be
I didn't mean that you need therapy, sorry if it came out like that. I just recommended it like a tool you could use

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

This world revolves around money and we are supposed to become wage slaves and breed and buy lots of useless shit we don't need.
I think thats what we are supposed to do. Yet what is the alternative ? You can't live the life you want without money.
I never wanted any of that crap.
This is definitely a world of suffering.

 

[Waiting for death]

Yes, it's fucked up how expensive it can be
I didn't mean that you need therapy, sorry if it came out like that. I just recommended it like a tool you could use

Actually, I'm using reading and language learning as my own therapy. At the moment I'm restarted to study French. Although I think it's not worth to study languages, I'm doing it because I want to forget my depression.

This world revolves around money and we are supposed to become wage slaves and breed and buy lots of useless shit we don't need.
I think thats what we are supposed to do. Yet what is the alternative ? You can't live the life you want without money.
I never wanted any of that crap.
This is definitely a world of suffering.

Absolutely !!!

 

[reallysleepy]

Actually, I'm using reading and language learning as my own therapy. At the moment I'm restarted to study French. Although I think it's not worth to study languages, I'm doing it because I want to forget my depression.

Absolutely !!!

Nice, how is it working for you? Maybe something about mindfulness can help you too. At least for me, when I'm in the present without thinking about the future or the past, I tend to feel less sad.

 

[Waiting for death]

Nice, how is it working for you? Maybe something about mindfulness can help you too. At least for me, when I'm in the present without thinking about the future or the past, I tend to feel less sad.

I'm studying French and Italian, although I believe it's worthless. It won't help me at all. I still want to ctb, because there's no future for me, I can't see anything.

 

[refused]

I'm studying French and Italian, although I believe it's worthless. It won't help me at all. I still want to ctb, because there's no future for me, I can't see anything.

Sorry to hear you feel that your current situation feels hopeless. What do you dream to do with the French and Italian languages? Are you trying to become an interpreter?

 

[Waiting for death]

Sorry to hear you feel that your current situation feels hopeless. What do you dream to do with the French and Italian languages? Are you trying to become an interpreter?

I just like to study foreign languages, I can speak Portuguese, Spanish, English, Italian, French , German. All these know is worthless because I didn't get any opportunity.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I read through all posts now and I think you already gave the answer to yourself whats causing you suicidal thoughts. In particular: hopeless, nothing good to expect from the future and so on. It's amazing how many languages you can speak! I'd say if you were able to turn this knowledge into a job that also grants you a good and relaxed life that this could be the key for the suicidal thoughts to disappear.

I myself have suicidal thoughts bc of a hopeless situation with nothing to expect from the future anymore but I don't see them as being destructive rather than a logic consequence of my current situation.

I hope you can find a way to deal with your situation and recover.

 

[Waiting for death]

I read through all posts now and I think you already gave the answer to yourself whats causing you suicidal thoughts. In particular: hopeless, nothing good to expect from the future and so on. It's amazing how many languages you can speak! I'd say if you were able to turn this knowledge into a job that also grants you a good and relaxed life that this could be the key for the suicidal thoughts to disappear.

I myself have suicidal thoughts bc of a hopeless situation with nothing to expect from the future anymore but I don't see them as being destructive rather than a logic consequence of my current situation.

I hope you can find a way to deal with your situation and recover.

Learning all these languages didn't help me at all. I live a rural area where things are difficult to get. I come from a humble poor family, my problem is: Existential crisis, hopelessness, lack of perspective in life, I can't find a meaning, I've been torturing myself for five years, I don't know if I'll be strong enough to overcome all of these. Anyway, thank you very much!