spoiledberry
<3
- Jul 20, 2025
- 13
Hihi it has been a while since I've lurked on here.
I've been in recovery ever since my last attempt in May landed me in the psych ward. The doctors put my back on Zoloft but I never got back in touch with with my psychiatrist from home so I've been dealing with the withdrawals for about 2 or 3 weeks.
It's pretty awful. And the worse part is that little glimmer of hope I felt leaving the hospital has all but vanished.
My parents don't think that I need to be on medication. In fact my mom put it so delicately that there's "nothing wrong with me" (side note: my parents know about at least 2 out of my 3 attempts and we have never talked about it in any capacity).
My insomnia is worse I can't stay asleep even if I smoke weed (which I've been doing to self medicate).
I went to urgent care and they couldn't give me anything and they sent me back to the hospital in which the nurses were rude and I freaked out and left without getting an emergency prescription.
Idk what to do it's like the world doesn't want me to get better. I've been extra irritated lately. Especially with the men that have been catcalling me when I go outside just making me feel just pure rage.
The world is so awful it would be easier to just kill myself but I'm really trying cuz I want to be better.
TL;DR I don't want to be on medication but there's not denying it helped me and I need it. The world is so awful I don't want to be here otherwise. I feel like a lost cause.
I've been in recovery ever since my last attempt in May landed me in the psych ward. The doctors put my back on Zoloft but I never got back in touch with with my psychiatrist from home so I've been dealing with the withdrawals for about 2 or 3 weeks.
It's pretty awful. And the worse part is that little glimmer of hope I felt leaving the hospital has all but vanished.
My parents don't think that I need to be on medication. In fact my mom put it so delicately that there's "nothing wrong with me" (side note: my parents know about at least 2 out of my 3 attempts and we have never talked about it in any capacity).
My insomnia is worse I can't stay asleep even if I smoke weed (which I've been doing to self medicate).
I went to urgent care and they couldn't give me anything and they sent me back to the hospital in which the nurses were rude and I freaked out and left without getting an emergency prescription.
Idk what to do it's like the world doesn't want me to get better. I've been extra irritated lately. Especially with the men that have been catcalling me when I go outside just making me feel just pure rage.
The world is so awful it would be easier to just kill myself but I'm really trying cuz I want to be better.
TL;DR I don't want to be on medication but there's not denying it helped me and I need it. The world is so awful I don't want to be here otherwise. I feel like a lost cause.
