Discussion What's the reason you didn't CTB?

[Drogon]

My daughter turns 18 this year . It's a terrible feeling leaving her behind as she becomes an adult. She's the only reason I'm still holding on .

 

[FoxSauce]

Ive never gone through an actual attempt but had plans.

Ive always thought how I leave my sisters, ik they need me. I guess holding on to some small amount of hope and well my dad.

And Im deeply afraid of death (ironic isnt it)

 

[Abort!]

I don't see it as inherently cowardly to refuse jumping into an irreversible decision carelessly. I actually see it as being wise to seriously consider all the possibilities death entails honestly and not settling for easy scripts.

If I knew for certain that nothing happens and I remained dead for all eternity after I die, it'd probably be far easier to quiet my SI. But that's not as granted as many folks around here would lead you to believe.

Secondly, though less prevalently now, I was always concerned about hurting those around me who I loved. If I hadn't had that anchor, I would have probably been dead for a long time now.

The gamble some people place on death being a superior alternative, while completely understandable, is not something I see as epistemically honest.

Natural does not necessarily imply good. Inevitable does not necessarily imply preferable. These are essentially false axioms meant to comfort. Again, completely understandable and deeply tragic — but false axioms nevertheless.

Edit for clarity: I'm not trying to persuade anyone to do or not do anything. I fully support adult autonomy. I'm only explaining why the commonly repeated "death = peace" framing is personally disturbing to me, and why uncertainty about outcomes matters in my own thinking. That's all.

 

[dejaentendu]

I keep going into a cycle of getting better then getting worse. I also have two young siblings and some friends/ a partner. I feel too much responsibility to not upset the ones I love. I just want to get this over with

 

[deny_conformity]

I was found by a stranger after I last overdosed and ended up in hospital. After getting out of hospital I met my former care coordinator and she said she'd cry if I hurt myself. I like her a lot so I won't do anything to upset her (my current care coordinator would 100% rat me out if I survived again).

Plus I also want a method that won't possibly leave me disabled. I want to be dead, I fear being disabled.

 

[ScaredCutter]

my boyfriend and whats next to come in the future. i hate missing out on things, like special events in games i play, limited stuff and what not. i love tlaking to my bf and always being there for him, id hate to leave him on his own.

 

[T22222222]

It feels like a a prison. I want nothing more than to die, but I can't go through with it.

same..