Reasons to Quit Smoking When Suicidal

[locallyringedspace]

Some background: I'm a chronically addicted cannabis user -- I've been smoking first thing in the morning and last thing before bed for almost two years now. I've been using it as a crutch for dealing with my BPD/CPTSD/depression/dysphoria/suicidal ideation. My boyfriend wants me to quit and has been trying to get me to quit for a long time. I am now trying again, and I know it's gotta be for reasons that aren't him. It hurts my ability to do math so I suffer at school and work, it makes me worse at thinking and remembering in general, it doesn't even make me happy anymore, it just contributes to me staying in my room and doing nothing at all, so I get more depressed as my room and hygiene and productivity get worse and worse and worse.

But none of these apply to cigarettes. Everything about smoking cessation online is about physical health and lifespan and early deaths or later consequences but like ... who cares . I keep fighting with my boyfriend because I keep bumming cigs off people even though I'm "quitting" but like genuinely none of the reasons are compelling to me. I don't want to quit, like at all. If he was cool with it, I'd go out and buy a pack right now. But I know that's not sustainable. Lowkey not sure what to do.

I guess I'm looking for advice -- if anyone here quit smoking while suicidal or has reasons they want to quit, feel free to share literally anything. Thanks.

 

[User8]

Some background: I'm a chronically addicted cannabis user -- I've been smoking first thing in the morning and last thing before bed for almost two years now. I've been using it as a crutch for dealing with my BPD/CPTSD/depression/dysphoria/suicidal ideation. My boyfriend wants me to quit and has been trying to get me to quit for a long time. I am now trying again, and I know it's gotta be for reasons that aren't him. It hurts my ability to do math so I suffer at school and work, it makes me worse at thinking and remembering in general, it doesn't even make me happy anymore, it just contributes to me staying in my room and doing nothing at all, so I get more depressed as my room and hygiene and productivity get worse and worse and worse.

But none of these apply to cigarettes. Everything about smoking cessation online is about physical health and lifespan and early deaths or later consequences but like ... who cares . I keep fighting with my boyfriend because I keep bumming cigs off people even though I'm "quitting" but like genuinely none of the reasons are compelling to me. I don't want to quit, like at all. If he was cool with it, I'd go out and buy a pack right now. But I know that's not sustainable. Lowkey not sure what to do.

I guess I'm looking for advice -- if anyone here quit smoking while suicidal or has reasons they want to quit, feel free to share literally anything. Thanks.

If you do not want to quit, you will not quit.
I have been a smoker (tabacco and weed) for a long time. I quit many times, and went back to smoking many times, every time it has been a conscious decision. If you want to quit, it's too easy to quit, if you do not want to quit, you will no quit. I really have nothing else to say except that if you want to continue smoking, do it so without remorse or grief, just enjoy it.

 

[locallyringedspace]

If you do not want to quit, you will not quit.
I have been a smoker (tabacco and weed) for a long time. I quit many times, and went back to smoking many times, every time it has been a conscious decision. If you want to quit, it's too easy to quit, if you do not want to quit, you will no quit. I really have nothing else to say except that if you want to continue smoking, do it so without remorse or grief, just enjoy it.

he says he'll break up with me if i keep smoking ...

 

[4Das]

he says he'll break up with me if i keep smoking ...

it sounds like you're really going through alot, he should encourage you to quit but not make you feel forced Into this. it sounds incredibly hard, especially with everything you're dealing with


and completely unrelated, don't feel forced to answer and idk if it's a bad moment to ask this rn so forgive me if not but I was curious what cigs do you smoke? which are your favs? :)

 

[locallyringedspace]

I was curious what cigs do you smoke? which are your favs? :)

lowkirk i'll smoke whatever ppl give me lmao. if i'm buying my own, i opt for canadian classics. sometimes if i'm lucky i'll bum a chinese cig and those r always great, but idk what brands i've smoked. I had a friend from denver stay with me for a week a year back and she brought me a bunch of american spirits and marlboro nxts, fuck those were good. the cigs here are kinda mid and you can't even get menthols outside of reservations

 

[xXiloveyouXx]

The way I see it, no point quitting if I'm gonna be dead before I see the consequences. If you actually want to die u should probably kick the weed. Idk if it makes you lazy but it feels like it takes away all my agency and I don't want to do anything, even die

 

[4Das]

lowkirk i'll smoke whatever ppl give me lmao. if i'm buying my own, i opt for canadian classics. sometimes if i'm lucky i'll bum a chinese cig and those r always great, but idk what brands i've smoked. I had a friend from denver stay with me for a week a year back and she brought me a bunch of american spirits and marlboro nxts, fuck those were good. the cigs here are kinda mid and you can't even get menthols outside of reservations

eyyy I'm sure those are nice choices I just never had Canadian classics before lol, could be because I'm I Germany American spirits are definitely my fav cigarettes, theyre just amazing in every way possible :D

 

[locallyringedspace]

The way I see it, no point quitting if I'm gonna be dead before I see the consequences. If you actually want to die u should probably kick the weed. Idk if it makes you lazy but it feels like it takes away all my agency and I don't want to do anything, even die

yeah im fs doing that at least. whether i ctb or focus on recovery, i need to actually do stuff and weed is making it impossible lol