Discussion What's the one path you didn't take that would have changed everything?

[Lupgevif]

Suicide earlier. I can see no path which wouldn't bring me pain.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

"What, you want to open a store like that faggot you work for? Are you a faggot? You can do whatever you want, but I'll tell you what I'm not paying for - business school so you can open a homo store. You're going to med school if you want me to pay for it."

what an utterly brutal and shitty thing to say.
Is your dad still around and what was your relationship with him like apart from that?

 

[falloutcarter13]

what an utterly brutal and shitty thing to say.
Is your dad still around and what was your relationship with him like apart from that?

He's still around. I don't really have a relationship with him, that ended about ten years ago when it became clear I wasn't going to be a doctor. He's just a product of his own environment, he's a really sad guy who just refuses to look in the mirror and change anything. Nothing I can do for him or he can do for me, we're just too different.

 

[esse_est_percipi]

He's still around. I don't really have a relationship with him, that ended about ten years ago when it became clear I wasn't going to be a doctor. He's just a product of his own environment, he's a really sad guy who just refuses to look in the mirror and change anything. Nothing I can do for him or he can do for me, we're just too different.

My dad died when I was 12, of cancer. A long illness. He was also sometimes violent with me, so I was a bit scared of him.
I forgive him though. I just want to leave all the anger and bitterness behind me.
But ultimately I think my childhood experience fucked me up, psychologically. I have a very sensitive nature, and I just had to deal with too many things.
Anyway, hopefully I'll just burn out soon, in some way.

 

[TAW122]

One of the things that would have changed a lot of things, some for the better, but ultimately still end up in a similar fate would be to work harder while I in school when I was studying computer science (including getting an internship and honing my skills more). I would of (I can't make guarantees or promises but I'll say more likely to) had a high paying job and making good income and not likely be living at home with parents. This would solve one aspect of my life, but not entirely all of it as I would still have the same/similar problems I used to have and the world will still suck (albeit a little less since I would have had financial independence) for me. I'd still likely go through with CTB, but I'd probably just have a nice big vacation, quit everything, and when it's all done and with the last of my savings, I'd CTB.

 

[Anthagonos]

Life is a complicated sequence of events. No one is to blame. There are literally billions of possibilities that could happen to one and many factors completely out of your control such as country you are born in, your parents, their wealth, your physical body, your intelligence, your health etc etc.
It's true that a significant event could drastically changes one's direction in life yet nothing would guarantee if that specific eve hadn't happened it would be all roses.
Life works in its mysterious ways and decides who is going to be happy who is not up to a certain extent ...

I think there is a "hidden force" in nature that drives the phenomenas.
One thing I think it's astrology, but also there are less know events like "global scaling" etc...

It has happened to me a sequence of phenomena that drives me in a specific direction. It has occurred to me several times.
Also, when my mom met my second father (we met him in a ship because he was captain) someone said: "go to the ship and meet the captain". I said my mom "no, I don't want", twice. If I would said a third time "no" then we never have met my second father.