J
jonward55
£ Made Me Be Here.
- Apr 12, 2023
- 384
Same hereI've tried everything, every treatment under the sun. I have a LOT of meds prescribed but its just not enough. It reduces my number of suicidal crisis but they're still very present. I don't know why it's not working. I've been in therapy for so long, so many years, yet i can't seem to fix or heal anything. I'm stuck in this health state. I've tried so many things.
I have a nasty combination of mental illnesses which only get more severe as you age. I already have extreme paranoid thoughts and delusions, occasionally hallucinations, I can't imagine living with this only getting worse for another 5 years, nevermind the rest of my natural lifespan. After my last attempt I'm trying for recovery again, but there isn't really any way to stop the progression of what I have, so unless there's some miracle in store for me I'll probably end up CTB sooner or later.I'm sure this has been asked, but so has everything else so oh well.
For me, I think it's a personality problem. I can't put away my self sabotaging mindset long enough to really get better. Maybe for a moment but it's never enough to make the change.
Also it's so gradual, it never feels like I'm actually improving and I give up.