Discussion What’s stopping you from ctb?

[ccake]

What country are you in and do you all ready have access to a firearm?

Well, i am from the cayman islands but im currently in the US *unfortunately* and my dad is a licensed firearm owner here, so im planning to use his

 

[Kuren Aiya]

Friends that have stuck with me through my first attempt. SI in general. Fear of getting scammed on online orders.

 

[hana0]

Fear of what's after death and fear of pain. I used to be worried for my family and how they'll react to my death, but overtime I kind of got over it. Not that I don't care about them, but I just don't think it will affect them that much. I think they'll probably be sad for some time but they'll understand my decision.

 

[lotheb_5drop]

Hearthstone, apex, and new anime for now.

 

[Username1359751]

For me it's the love I have for my mum. The idea of putting her through that kind of pain and leaving her alone will always stop me from ctb. The day she won't be here anymore will be the end for me, my mum is my life, don't see how I would ever be able to survive without her.

Since Im a burden to my mom it's a little different for me. I dont have the money for a firearm, a car to drive to another city, or even for supplies and I absolutely cant take pain. So no resources. I wish I had been smarter and used what I had when I was able to. Could've saved her a lot of pain, for us both. Wish I lived in an apartment several stories high. Anything, but I have very little to go off of. I've sought help from a stranger before and I waited too long and he backed out. Good luck.

 

[Olisop21.]

I don't know. I want to die so bad and have it be overwith.

 

[Pikmin]

I'm afraid of failing and being a vegetable by the exit bag method. I'm also afraid of what happens after death. I'm agnostic, but I'm worried if everything is worse after death.

 

[azo]

I'm just bad at making decisions. And commitments. My reason for living is that maybe one day, I'll have a reason for living. In praxis this may just result in me rotting till I die naturally (which is why I've considered setting a date in my early/mid twenties by which I'll ctb if my circumstances haven't improved or if I haven't found that reason yet).

 

[Rubypie41]

I reached out to peagasus and they originally emailed back asking what my condition was and when I said damage from medications they didn't email back

Did you go into detail about what the damage is and how it impacts your life? They want to know exactly what physical condition or conditions you have, for how long, how it impacts your quality of life etc. The medical conditions you have would also need to be backed up with medical reports that you can send to them confirming diagnosis. If you just said damage from medications that doesn't tell them anything to make a lawful decision on.

 

[TiredOfAllThis]

My cats, waiting for enough time to be alone, and faint hope

 

[CalynShelp]

My pets and some select family members. Also the fact that I'm a huge coward.

 

[Dliena]

Numerous things from SI to Loved Ones and many other excuses I tend to make out of my mind because I suck.

 

[Forveleth]

Have a trip planned in a few months I'd like to actually go on. Also my last failed attempt made me change methods so now I need to practice something else because I want to get it right when the time comes.

 

[Mr.Black]

Fear of what comes after. I am incredibly afraid of dying, yet I can't help but want to stop existing whatsoever. I don't believe in the afterlife or any religion for that. The mere thought of what would happen if I CTB'd sends shivers down my spine. Life is hard, meaningless, and suffocating, yet I just can't bring myself to do it because of the thought that what comes after would be worse than living.

 

[Morte]

Lack of good methods

 

[sserafim]

I'm just bad at making decisions. And commitments. (which is why I've considered setting a date in my early/mid twenties by which I'll ctb if my circumstances haven't improved or if I haven't found that reason yet).

Same. I suck at decision making. I'm super indecisive and have analysis paralysis. I also hate having to commit to one thing

 

[Gorgone]

Don't have a (mostly) painless and high success rate method. Hell I don't even have a gun and can't legally get one anymore. Kinda thinking I might try to get life insurance to benefit my kid and BD before I try again (which necessitates pushing it out even further). We'll see

 

[HNR17114168]

My kids

 

[Pikmin]

I live with a roommate currently. That stops me from ctb because I don't want to emotionally scar someone. I will hopefully do it after I move into an apartment alone soon. Also, not having SN stops me too. I will have to do more research on getting it. Fingers crossed.

Do it in a hotel

 

[kfad95]

Did you go into detail about what the damage is and how it impacts your life? They want to know exactly what physical condition or conditions you have, for how long, how it impacts your quality of life etc. The medical conditions you have would also need to be backed up with medical reports that you can send to them confirming diagnosis. If you just said damage from medications that doesn't tell them anything to make a lawful decision on.

Unfortunately the doctors here won't recognise what I'm going through is from medications and only recommend others but I know from others they won't help.

 

[grahf]

Fear of failure, and becoming vegetable

 

[Endofit]

Fear of death itself and also the process of dying. I got over the fear of hurting loved ones tho. I know they will just be sad for a moment and get over it. I just hope my long process of thoughts will lead me to an attempt

 

[untothedepths]

Pain and failure. Lack of not whacky or painful methods. Such as me.

 

[jayturner245]

Fear of what comes after. I am incredibly afraid of dying, yet I can't help but want to stop existing whatsoever. I don't believe in the afterlife or any religion for that. The mere thought of what would happen if I CTB'd sends shivers down my spine. Life is hard, meaningless, and suffocating, yet I just can't bring myself to do it because of the thought that what comes after would be worse than living.

But one day you're going to die anyway

 

[iloveduster]

SI and the fear of failing

 

[Lost Impact]

i'm not so much scared of failing, it's the fallout afterwards. the only reason i'd want to leave a note is so there'd be no police investigation snooping into my phone and pc and seeing all my weird internet art and things. where i've posted. deleting all my history is moot as they have ways of recovering it. i really just want to avoid a police investigation. it should be so obvious what happened.

i'm also stupidly "waiting and seeing" if life can get even a tiny bit better but. god keeps kicking me with hit spiked boots over and over telling me, no,, it's not gonna get better. ctb NOW.

it's also lack of resources. i've tried OD'ing. i've tried "down the road" method by SI kicked in and couldn't get deep enough and i also heal fast.