Discussion What’s stopping you from ctb?

[Gelos82]

For me it's the love I have for my mum. The idea of putting her through that kind of pain and leaving her alone will always stop me from ctb. The day she won't be here anymore will be the end for me, my mum is my life, don't see how I would ever be able to survive without her.

 

[FitsTime]

Nothing, I'm just waiting for the right inspiration, maybe I'll get drunk and then proceed, when I'm drunk my real feelings show. I'm too serious and focused when I'm not drunk.

 

[FuneralCry]

Because there isn't the option to reliably die in peace, I really despise this evil world where suicide is pretty much illegal, it's beyond hellish how peaceful methods like Nembutal aren't accesible. Also what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, the thought of such happening is beyond horrifying.

 

[divinemistress36]

Fear of failure and becoming a vegetable

 

[BeedyBee]

Because there isn't the option to reliably die in peace

Bingo. If I could just buy a drug to put myself to sleep with I'd probably already be dead

 

[Olisop21.]

Fear, I so want to die. Just get it overwith
I'm just a pos and need to ctb.

 

[sserafim]

Fear, risk, and consequences of failure. I don't want to fail and be left even worse off.

Bingo. If I could just buy a drug to put myself to sleep with I'd probably already be dead

Same

 

[Olisop21.]

Fear, I so want to die. Just get it overwith
I'm just a pos and need to ctb. I wish it was a team effort and we could all do it together

 

[Gelos82]

Nothing, I'm just waiting for the right inspiration, maybe I'll get drunk and then proceed, when I'm drunk my real feelings show. I'm too serious and focused when I'm not drunk.

I totally get the alcohol thing, I'm the same, and I would definitely need alcohol to get some courage to go through with it.

 

[cupcakesandmilk]

It's mainly the fear of failure. I don't wanna end up with less than four limbs if I fail; granted, the likelihood of that happening is low, and a part of me doesn't wanna leave my mum behind either.

 

[Gelos82]

Because there isn't the option to reliably die in peace, I really despise this evil world where suicide is pretty much illegal, it's beyond hellish how peaceful methods like Nembutal aren't accesible. Also what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, the thought of such happening is beyond horrifying.

I have the same fear of something going wrong. It scares the hell out me. Totally agree with your point. If someone wants to die they should be allowed to, with medical supervision and not be forced to suffer physically, mentally or both. Also not to be forced to ctb in a horrible way.

 

[strangelife]

1) my loved ones
2)fear of failure
But I am prepared and got SN

 

[deathslament]

gatekeeping SN sources here apperently

 

[strangelife]

I have the same fear of something going wrong. It's scares the hell out me. Totally agree with your point. If someone wants to die they should be allowed to, with medical supervision and not be forced to suffer physically, mentally or both. Also not to be forced to ctb in a horrible way.

MAID is an option for foreigners in Belgium, for physical and mental disorders. Pegasus in Switzerland probably assist everybody who pays

Welcome to Pegasos – Pegasos Swiss Association

pegasos-association.com

 

[Dark Window]

Because there isn't the option to reliably die in peace, I really despise this evil world where suicide is pretty much illegal, it's beyond hellish how peaceful methods like Nembutal aren't accesible. Also what I'd fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse suffering as a result, the thought of such happening is beyond horrifying.

Then you're going to have to accept a certain degree of discomfort when dying if you really want out that badly.
What's stopping me? I'm not sure I want to die yet, but If the things I'm trying right now don't work, then I'll CTB.

 

[ResidentEvil]

"Because i don't have the right tools in the shed".
Why do we have to suffer on our way out? That is ludacris, if the possibility for a peaceful exit is there.

There is one surefire method, that i know works, and there is no backing out of if done right. Drowning.
But i know how peaceful barbiturates are, and how peaceful an opiod/opiate are. So why not feel good, when leaving this world.
So i am searching for the last tools, so i can finish the job.

But living in the western world, trust me.. We don't have access to many methods. A gun to the head, would be pain free. But US is the only country, where it can be done legally. And you are stock with your passport.

If i lived in the UK, i would have no problem whatsoever getting the right tools. But sadly i don't know anyone from the UK, that can help me with the things i need. Scandinavia is probably one of the worst countries in the world, if we are talking about sourcing for methods.

 

[mtoro998]

Still deciding if hanging is better than sn or not. Trying to see if I can figure out nitrogen. Clinging onto hope that some miracle will happen or things will get better. Scared of failure, experiencing pain, and dying but right now this feels like my only option. If nitrogen wasnt so complex I probably would have done that already.

 

[sunsetbeach]

Because drowning in the sea at night takes a lot of guts. I will be going through with it this year or the year after this one. Just have to pluck up the courage.

 

[Olisop21.]

I wish I could figure out a way to get rid of my fear.

 

[MangoTea]

I don't want to put my family through the monetary stress of paying for a funeral

 

[terra.nuvo]

Then you're going to have to accept a certain degree of discomfort when dying if you really want out that badly.
What's stopping me? I'm not sure I want to die yet, but If the things I'm trying right now don't work, then I'll CTB.

Same here. I'm just waiting to see how life turns out to see if ctb is truly what i wanna do. I gotta be sure.

 

[Oliver]

Loved ones + fear of failure due to lack of access to a reliable method.

 

[unabletocope]

Struggle, doubt, not being able to put my issues into words, not being able to come to terms with my issues, not being able to find a way out that I am sure of

 

[callincards]

I need a way that will definitely result in death

 

[Olisop21.]

I need a way that will definitely result in death

I do too.

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Reliable and peaceful/painfree means. That's literally it. If there was a drink I could take I'd do it in a heartbeat and I have felt like that consistently for years. Even on my 'good days'. Just had enough. It's too hard and I just want off the fucking ride.

 

[ijustwishtodie]

There just simply isn't a method that I can easily access that is painless. Hell, the only method I heard was drowning and that sounds absolutely awful to do, not to mention at how there's a huge risk of me getting saved by random people in society who think that I'm better off living because I look humanoid

 

[malevolentdiety]

Need to get antiemetics

 

[zengiraffe]

I don't know. I ask myself this question daily. Still don't know why I haven't done it yet.

 

[Kassiee]

for me im scared of failing, i plan to ctb via firearm and i really dont wanna fail because i know how mentally and physically traumatic the after math could be if i survive... i also fear that if gods real that i would be punished for it despite the fact that ive given life so many chances and i just want to finally rest without a single worry. im contemplating on doing it soon, sometime before april 18th, im trying my best to just force myself to do it because im such a wuss