What's preventing you from CTB?

[Jessi76]

The fear of a failed attempt that ends me in a psychiatric ward. And I want to be 100% sure before I take that step and do CTB. It should not be impulsive, but a conscious decision.

 

[Painfu.Ll.suffering]

Im a coward, have adhd and most important fear of failing... Need an antiemetic but not able to get it.. So if someone can send it to me that could help...
I wanted gas, but i can't think anything to the end and then im tired without anything.
I am not even able to leave my flat... And i am unable to get my stuff in order...
I hate it.. I am alone in my flat, no one was there the last 1,5years where the consequences of an accident got that worse and I wasnt able to get the right help and now its too late and my person stands in the way of continuing.... I asked for help in dying, but the doctors won't help... Instead i feel forced to do stuff that im not able to take care of... When I wanted to get help, it was not available or my other
Disorder excluded me...

 

[Slow_Farewell]

Cost.
The way I would like to do it and attempt at a semblance of control of the aftermath is a bit costly.
I factored in the cost of disposal (at least a part of it), then the location (because i don't want to get stopped half-way).

 

[IWishToDie]

First time lurker, long time suicidal person, lol. I see a lot of people on here ready to CTB but still holding back. Wanted to know other people's hesitations.

I'll go first. Everytime I think about how I'll miss smoking weed, doing DXM, trying shrooms, or taking acid and it makes me cry. I love to get high and listen to music, play instruments, and/or draw. I have everything I need to CTB bookmarked, but I am too weak/cowardly to go through with it yet.

Hope everyone is having a good night.

Haven't written my note, haven't collected metoclop or benzos, still comparing SN sources, worried about welfare checks for SN and being dragged off for 6 months to a godforsaken mental hospital, worried about not testing the product properly, worried about seizures and suffocation before I fall unconscious etc etc. If I had Nembutal right now I would go for it. F*ck love, f*ck life.

 

[Tokugawa_Yoshinobu]

Attempt ctb recently, failed and now I'm stunned for a while and don't wanna try again until much later. Maybe I'll try again in a year or so

 

[WombRot]

Mostly because of a lack of access to a reliable and effective method. I'm worried about the negative effects my death may have on those around me as well.

 

[hopeless08]

I honestly fear that my method won't work out or that I am doing the morally "wrong thing". Also that things will somehow get better, even though I don't know how

For me it's not finding peaceful method/resources and most importantly the pain and suffering it'll put my family through but i am finished with the cruelty called life, I need out desperately.
The idea of not finding a way out and having to endure this pain terrifies me.

 

[Antigone_Blossoms]

I'm so scared that my family or my boyfriend will be badly affected by my passing. I'm going to try to make it easier on them somehow, but I'm not sure exactly what to do yet.

 

[lastexit717@proton.]

Im scared of pain and i dont want to hurt my parents , but the thougths are here all day.

 

[yakhriv]

I am terrified of eternal nonexistence.

 

[amnotreal]

my kids
and because i am weak

 

[walkingdead2023]

I can't find the resources, I live in the US and nothing is available for me to use. I'm looking into other resources such as medications overdose but I have to find the right one