my dog. He should still have several years and I won't leave him and break his little heart. I love that dog more than any living creature on the planet. I have a small number of very close friends, that kinda know I'm struggling - not to what extent, don't want them to worry, it wouldn't help anyone - but also know it's got nothing to do with them so I'm fairly certain that, sad as they'd be, they wouldn't blame themselves in any way, shape or form. I love them dearly but I love my dog even more. Once he crosses the rainbow bridge, I'll book my trip. I'll clear out my bank accounts and really enjoy my last days in a beautiful location. At this point I'm not even too bothered with finding a peaceful and painless method. Some lidocaine and a razor blade will do just fine.