What's bothering you right now?

[Life sucks]

Atrocious mental and physical pain and situation that I can't explain. I wish my life ends right now at this moment.

 

[lobster salad]

Literally have the perfect life and perfect loving family and yet i am so stupid, slow and worthless. I wish i could give my perfect life to someone much more deserving before i ctb. because i have everything and yet im so spoiled.

 

[Pallf]

I'm always pissed about something. Today I'm pissed off because I wasn't able to make it to a traditional event put on by my church.
I also tried to reach out to a crisis chat during their slow period, but no one responded. I expect this now.

 

[☆AwaitingEntropy☆]

A lot. I genuinely can't focus on anything anymore, I'm floating through life and understanding none of it.
It stings realizing that so many people dislike life. Family, friends, coworkers. And there's nothing to be done to make their lives better. To make my life better.
I saw a thread on R/ddit that asked about how former and current suicidal people were doing now / how they coped and...so many of the answers said they still struggled with it, that the reason they didn't ctb is because they didn't want to inconvenience someone, or make a loved one sad.
It's tragic to me that so many people dislike life, and it's because of this garbage world.

And also, It's harmful that people try to treat suicidal thoughts as a one and done thing, where when you get help, you'll never worry again, and you'll magically value life. And that works for some people, sure, but nobody talks about how so many people will struggle with it chronically, possibly for the rest of their lives. I know that nobody prepared me for the idea that even though I'm on medication, and trying therapy, I'd still dislike life.

I'm so tired. Suicidal thoughts are bad lately, and feel particularly urgent. I wish I had started mediation years ago because maybe then the 'me' that my loved ones liked could be saved. But...I waited too long, and I think I might be too disillusioned to ever recover.

 

[xxsweetopheliaxx]

Having the people responsible for murdering my family and neighbors for the past 8 years now being hailed as heroes/victims. People ignoring the war for the last 8 years and only caring now after most of our loved ones got killed. Seeing my people constantly degraded and blamed for everything. Living with the man that sexually abused me as a kid. The thousands of debt I'm stuck in. Can't even pr*stitute myself because everyone else is as broke as I am. I feel so dizzy lately, so tired of everything and everyone. The world keeps spinning and I feel like I'm suffocating. I'm so sick of being alive, but I can't leave behind my debt or cats. They're the thread I've been hanging onto life for.

 

[Life sucks]

My brain is really fucked right now, I'm terrified

 

[som1]

that I can't cry, I really want to cry to feel something but I feel dead, I feel nothing.

 

[WadeingThru]

I could not connect to SS and I was starting to freak out.

 

[TheWood]

The thing that bothers me most is dealing with people who are not mentally open. People who believe they're constantly living in the past and not in the present, or even all those situations in which toxic people try to sink your every personal goal

 

[Silenos]

I am confusion

 

[Myl]

Anhedonia and lonlieness.

 

[Muse]

Lack of love

 

[OldDrummer]

Tinnitus. Some demon screaming in my left ear 24/7 and that fact that I need to self-medicate with alcohol just to sleep.

 

[Depressed Cat]

The only thing that's bothering me right now is the ongoing genocide and war crimes being unleashed upon the hapless Ukrainian population (and their animals) by the Russian invaders, and the sheer inability of the civilised world to put an end to it.

 

[Treeline589]

I am afraid my therapist is ending our sessions- while that doesn't mean anything bad to most it tears me apart. That client/therapist relationship was/is the only reason I am still alive

 

[S like suicide]

That lately i was too kind and caring with shitty people that didn't desearve nothing from me in fact they couldn't give a damn about me....i'm angry at myself and it's really sad...feeling more stupid and worthless than ever,i only want hurt myself badly

 

[som1]

That my ctb plan in an hour from now got ruined its not fair.

 

[Life sucks]

When sleeping is hard because of the endless pain

 

[Manaaja]

I wish I could adopt all the world's dogs. All are so cute doggy woggies.

 

[Skathon]

Being stuck not that far away from a war zone.

 

[Red Scare]

I really miss my husband...

 

[Sherri]

That I think we are on a verge of a world war 3. Slowly but surely.

 

[Circles]

Finally went hiking to the mountains where I've always wanted to go to and ended up feeling great but tired cause I wore shitty boots. But that's not what's bothering me. What's bothering me is that some shallow pixie skinny prick called me fat while I passed him on the trail for some fucked up reason. He said something along the lines like 'how could you make it up here being so fat' or something. I didn't say anything cause I was just like wtf. Who the fuck says this shit to complete strangers????

 

[Boireannach Brònach]

Feeling like no one actually likes me and are just pretending because they feel sorry for me. Like I'm out-of-place everywhere I go and everyone is just waiting for me to leave so they can relax without having this weird lady around.

On top of that, I'm worried that I might become dependent on the benzos my doctor gave me, but they're the only thing keeping me from screaming non-stop at the moment. At least my kitty enjoys sitting with me

 

[S like suicide]

That lately i was too kind and caring with shitty people that didn't desearve nothing from me in fact they couldn't give a damn about me....i'm angry at myself and it's really sad...feeling more stupid and worthless than ever,i only want hurt myself badly

rectification: "shitty people that didn't deserve all the caring attention i gave them in this last period"
I'm very angry...a big _|_ fuck you to all of them.
:( I'm so sad

 

[Life sucks]

Constantly having battles with mental illnesses and past traumas and memories

 

[Panna]

Was out on a nice walk, and had a guy who didnt like how slow I was going through the crosswalk even though the walk sign was on, swerved in front of me and stopped in the middle of the crosswalk reversing and going forward as I tried to get around before shooting through.

 

[S like suicide]

Was out on a nice walk, and had a guy who didnt like how slow I was going through the crosswalk even though the walk sign was on, swerved in front of me and stopped in the middle of the crosswalk reversing and going forward as I tried to get around before shooting through.

Some people are really pieces of shit...

 

[Sherri]

That I will have to call my clinic on Monday when my pills should have last another week. Wish me luck….this time I'll behave.

 

[Huntfish34]

That I have So much hatred and vengeance in my heart. For myself and some people I have copped resentments towards. It's such a Vicious and toxic cycle I feel like blowing my fucking brains out but still can't gather the strength and courage to do so. Why can't I just let it all go and be at peace like I used to years ago. Fck,. I'm a complete wreck.

I almost got in my truck the other night to .... Go take care of one of my resentments.... Like he deserves. But then I'd probably go to prison, jail or even hell depending on how it goes down. My mind is so damn Sick and twisted,. I hope I can pull the trigger soon and just do the whole world a fucking favor already.

Sorry I'm so negative and all over the place,. Very lost lately. FML.