Infinite Conscious
Experienced
- Aug 18, 2020
- 282
What would you do... if your entire life you had an obsession with suicide, as if it was one of the lessons your soul had to go through in this lifetime, so as to learn and evolve?
What would you do if you have been depressed for decades, with social anxiety, avoiding people, even the ones you cared about, imagining as "a perfect day" the one in which you wouldn't have to talk to anyone?
I am sure most of you from here are meeting the standards/criteria mentioned above, being cooked in the same oven day after day...
But what what would you do if, in addition to this, the only thing keeping you alive was - heroin? Those rare moments which provide you with a feeling of relief, an escape, the only time you felt - alive?
How would you feel if the best moments of your life were the ones on heroin, DMT, psilocybin and ketamine? No love, no interaction with other people, but rather - all drugs?
What would you do if, despite chronic social anxiety, the younger you managed to have so many sexual partners that 13 years ago you were diagnosed with HIV?
What would you do if you never came out of the closet, were 70% gay, thus never marrying or having a family of your own?
What would you do if you were in such a DEBT that could not be repaid even if you lived for another 100 years... if all your bank accounts were blocked and you couldn't get a regular job that doesn't pay in cash?
What would you do if you worked for 300 EUR per month, despite having a university degree in Psychology and speaking multiple languages? If you were broke enough even for SN to seem unaffordable, while you owned - nothing?
What would you do if decades of drug abuse made you sexually impotent in your late 30's? I'm in my mid-40's, so the struggle has been going on for almost a decade.
What would you do if you had smoked approximately a quarter of a million cigarettes, while you just recently lost your mother to lung cancer? Would you keep waiting for it, knowing what's ahead once you do get it?
What would you do if you were recently dumped by a woman who was the only one to know and accept all of your problems, the only soul you could have considered spending the rest of your life with?
What would you do if you were raised as an atheist, but life and tons of research had shown you that it wasn't really a coincidence or a chance that brought you to this plane of existence?
I'm not talking about organized religion or even a God, but rather a Source, a Creator of Souls, an organized system that sends us to Earth (but not only) to learn and develop through suffering as an unavoidable "school process". If you were aware that you actually chose this life, this body as a vehicle, and all this suffering as lessons... would you still feel bitter, considering yourself a "victim of society"?
What would you do if you felt that you cannot live a meaningful and productive life anymore, even by knowing it was all a "game" in just one of many trials... and that there is really no escape, that you would be held responsible for dropping out of "school", probably having to go through the same lessons, the same or even greater pain, in the future incarnations?
Chronic depression... social anxiety and isolation... HIV... 2 decades of drug addiction... (predominant) homosexuality in a conservative society... financial debt... inability to get a job... impotence... beginning stages of dementia and periodontal disease... while on the outside looking perfectly healthy and at least 10 years younger?
Would you consider all of the above to be enough lessons for a single lifetime? Would you call it a quits and look forward for a more productive opportunity in the future incarnations (if in fact death isn't the end of existence, which I still desperately hope for)?
There are people on this forum who seriously contemplate suicide with "just" one problem from the list above... which doesn't downgrade their pain or make their decision less justified.
But "the list" for me seems like an insurmountable mountain which keeps me paralyzed and useless; I cannot move forward or learn any more, I feel stuck and wasting time and oxygen.
What would you do?
You know what I'd do? I'm counting down... 9 hours to go.
The time has come, and the method is hanging.
Farewell, beautiful community.
See y'all in the spirit world in between lives... where we recharge our energy, discuss with our soul groups the mistakes we made in the past life, and where we choose and plan our next incarnations.
This forum has been a true blessing.
For a few of you who wonder why I seem so confident in the "afterlife" after being an atheist and a believer in only our 5 senses - I leave a recommendation that could change your outlook on life and death, if you only give it a chance. You won't even have to read, just listen... Lay on your beds and listen. It took me 30 years to get the answers to my questions. You get EVERYTHING on a plate.
If just one of you picks it up and overcomes the laziness... my life review will be less condemning.
After all, the main purpose of our existence is to help others and spread the knowledge... because we all come from the same Source and strive to return the same and only ONE.
1. "Journey of Souls" - Dr Michael Newton
2. "Destiny of Souls" - same author
What would you do if you have been depressed for decades, with social anxiety, avoiding people, even the ones you cared about, imagining as "a perfect day" the one in which you wouldn't have to talk to anyone?
I am sure most of you from here are meeting the standards/criteria mentioned above, being cooked in the same oven day after day...
But what what would you do if, in addition to this, the only thing keeping you alive was - heroin? Those rare moments which provide you with a feeling of relief, an escape, the only time you felt - alive?
How would you feel if the best moments of your life were the ones on heroin, DMT, psilocybin and ketamine? No love, no interaction with other people, but rather - all drugs?
What would you do if, despite chronic social anxiety, the younger you managed to have so many sexual partners that 13 years ago you were diagnosed with HIV?
What would you do if you never came out of the closet, were 70% gay, thus never marrying or having a family of your own?
What would you do if you were in such a DEBT that could not be repaid even if you lived for another 100 years... if all your bank accounts were blocked and you couldn't get a regular job that doesn't pay in cash?
What would you do if you worked for 300 EUR per month, despite having a university degree in Psychology and speaking multiple languages? If you were broke enough even for SN to seem unaffordable, while you owned - nothing?
What would you do if decades of drug abuse made you sexually impotent in your late 30's? I'm in my mid-40's, so the struggle has been going on for almost a decade.
What would you do if you had smoked approximately a quarter of a million cigarettes, while you just recently lost your mother to lung cancer? Would you keep waiting for it, knowing what's ahead once you do get it?
What would you do if you were recently dumped by a woman who was the only one to know and accept all of your problems, the only soul you could have considered spending the rest of your life with?
What would you do if you were raised as an atheist, but life and tons of research had shown you that it wasn't really a coincidence or a chance that brought you to this plane of existence?
I'm not talking about organized religion or even a God, but rather a Source, a Creator of Souls, an organized system that sends us to Earth (but not only) to learn and develop through suffering as an unavoidable "school process". If you were aware that you actually chose this life, this body as a vehicle, and all this suffering as lessons... would you still feel bitter, considering yourself a "victim of society"?
What would you do if you felt that you cannot live a meaningful and productive life anymore, even by knowing it was all a "game" in just one of many trials... and that there is really no escape, that you would be held responsible for dropping out of "school", probably having to go through the same lessons, the same or even greater pain, in the future incarnations?
Chronic depression... social anxiety and isolation... HIV... 2 decades of drug addiction... (predominant) homosexuality in a conservative society... financial debt... inability to get a job... impotence... beginning stages of dementia and periodontal disease... while on the outside looking perfectly healthy and at least 10 years younger?
Would you consider all of the above to be enough lessons for a single lifetime? Would you call it a quits and look forward for a more productive opportunity in the future incarnations (if in fact death isn't the end of existence, which I still desperately hope for)?
There are people on this forum who seriously contemplate suicide with "just" one problem from the list above... which doesn't downgrade their pain or make their decision less justified.
But "the list" for me seems like an insurmountable mountain which keeps me paralyzed and useless; I cannot move forward or learn any more, I feel stuck and wasting time and oxygen.
What would you do?
You know what I'd do? I'm counting down... 9 hours to go.
The time has come, and the method is hanging.
Farewell, beautiful community.
See y'all in the spirit world in between lives... where we recharge our energy, discuss with our soul groups the mistakes we made in the past life, and where we choose and plan our next incarnations.
This forum has been a true blessing.
For a few of you who wonder why I seem so confident in the "afterlife" after being an atheist and a believer in only our 5 senses - I leave a recommendation that could change your outlook on life and death, if you only give it a chance. You won't even have to read, just listen... Lay on your beds and listen. It took me 30 years to get the answers to my questions. You get EVERYTHING on a plate.
If just one of you picks it up and overcomes the laziness... my life review will be less condemning.
After all, the main purpose of our existence is to help others and spread the knowledge... because we all come from the same Source and strive to return the same and only ONE.
1. "Journey of Souls" - Dr Michael Newton
2. "Destiny of Souls" - same author
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