going to get a tremendous amount of hate, but lately I just don't care anymore. My wife hasn't slept with me for 4 years, doesn't touch me or anything. we talked about it and it'll change for a day and then go back to it. So.. with that said here is what I would most likely do. Get a boat load of escorts, doing this until I unable to I am not in my 20s or 30s anymore so I doubt it'll go far, but just to be TOUCHED that way would do my lack of dopamine good. yeah, I'll be a cheating POS, like I said I tried the right way, the rebel in me wants to do the bad way now. I am on disability (PTSD,Panic,Anxiety disorder,Bi polar type 1) so we are basically just using each other so we have money for a place to stay. Roomates to say the least.
I would likely go visit japan, eat a ton of ramen (it's probably why I am morbidly obese, I love ramen). likely visit the red district and get escorts there too. I always wanted to make love to a japanese woman..Not because of weeb reasons either. most of them are beautiful and kind (talked to a few in my old age). Drink with locals and play some retro games with them, Or go to the "break" room so I can smash things with a baseball bat or golf club.
My last place would be the phillipines. Give my self ONE LAST CHANCE to find the love my heart is starving for. After so many failures of American women, including my marriage. My father in law being a old and fat guy found a beautiful wife that stayed with him for almost 20 years before his passing. She loved him dearly, his ex wife (mother in law) is satan reincarnate. My wife loves her (it's her mom after all) but she got some karma in the form of Dementia. Given the PTSD given to me in my first 3 years of marriage. I don't feel an ounce of bad. if the likely case of me not finding that happy ever after. then I would CTB. Tired of this loneliness of no real friends and a wife that is double amputated and selfish given all I have done for her, Sacrificed my old life for her only to get the SAME TREATMENT I GOT FROM PREVIOUS LOVERS. So call me what you will. I no longer care. hate me...pick a number and stand in line.