Venting Parents don't care about me

[JoyLobo]

My parents have never cared about me or my feelings. They will spend tens of thousands on themselves but for a simple $20 thing they go on a ten minute tirade about how they're not going to be able to save for retirement because of that. They said once I get into college they will stop being so stingy and they were for a while but now I'm back to square one. I want to do my PhD and because I started college a bit late because of my depression and anxiety I will graduate undergrad at 24 and so I'll probably finish my PhD at 29. I can't wait that long to be able to exist freely. I don't want to live without doing the PhD because I need it for what I want to do for the rest of my life. They said they didn't have money to buy me the going to college computer they promised so I'm missing out on that. Meanwhile they drop over 100k building a pool. And adding like 20k for infrared heaters even though we live in a hot place. So I don't know what to do. I'm always the scapegoat for all the problems, not just the financial ones. If I killed myself they wouldn't need to spend money on me so in a way it would actually be beneficial for them.

 

[hankly]

OK you're young. get yourself clear of them asap, financial independence. get yourself totally set and fuck em off, circle back around in your 30s when you've made it. Focus hard and get the bread. don't let them fuck up your future because they suck. you don't have to understand all of why they do right now, just focus on you. you've got this. Don't KYS because your parents suck, just put up the boundaries and focus on the important things. do a bunch of CBT and may DBT in your free time whilst you're working on your mission, don't let any leaches in (probably will be a bit more susceptible to them so learn it and be careful. live laugh love prosper and fuck the bastards.

Edit: do your morning pages. your 20's blinds you to your 30s so just do the right things, look after yourself and stay away from trouble and treating yourself like shit.

 

[Ammonite5]

I know this feeling well, parents can really make or break a life. I wish having kids was not as hard as it.

 

[Abyss Dweller]

hankly said everything I just wanted to add I really applaud you for aiming for the phd. Whatever happens, keep that energy :) <3