What would you do in this situation?

[hihi2027]

I'm in a bit of an awkward situation, to say the very least. Here is the story.

There is a past online friend who thinks that I committed suicide. Last year, I sent them a message basically saying that I was going to kill myself, which was true. Well, my attempt failed so here I still am. Yet this friend has no idea, and they even made a post saying to never forget me after I committed...

It's strange because this friend basically abandoned me and everyone they knew all of a sudden. They were the pillar of an online community that everyone loved until they left. Now they are hated with a bad reputation. Yet they said they felt like I understood them the most and appearantly I was the only person that they wanted to keep in contact with. Funny that.

When I admitted my plan to them, they said that they themself planned to ctb sometime time soon. Well, it's been a year since then and they haven't contacted me in, so I'm not sure if I should break the news to them. I didn't lie to them on purpose but it feels like we've both moved on from each other at this point. I don't know what I should do now. It's not like I'm wanting to be on this earth anytime soon, my death is certain to end in suicide.

The only reason I'm posting this now is because I randomly thought of looking them up recently. I thought they had passed away at this point but, no, maybe not?? I saw a post from them that was made last month this year, so who knows? I had no idea that they were still alive.

What would you do if you were me?

 

[ctb_warrior]

If I was u, I would let it slide. Because, as you said, this friend abandoned you earlier. What I have learnt in my life is, if someone closes the door, close it from your side forever. Even if they open it again, keep it closed because you've some self respect and you won't tolerate someone's mood to abandon you and when they feel differently, they be coming back to you.


That's my thought.

On the other hand, if this friend comes to know that you are alive they will certainly be happy.
So, it's now basically dependent on your chemistry with this friend. If your chemistry allows to tell your friend that you are alive tell. Otherwise let it pass.

My best friend from childhood whom i considered a brother instead of a friend. He was jealous of me due to his dad's regular comparision of our marks. This friend abandoned me. I was emotionally connected to him. So, i kept trying to reach him. He also lied to me that he's in California, when he was in India. When he contacted me back, i accepted him with open arms. This lowered my value and i became someone that he can treat like a doormat and I'll still accept him. Going forward, he abandoned me again.
And from this experience, i got to understand that i need to have some self respect. Close the door from your end permanently when someone closes it on you.
Similarly, there was this relative of mine who said at some point of my academics that my career is over even before starting.
I got scolded by my father after that remark.
Fast forward, a few years ago he wanted to get my contact number so he could ask me for loan of a substantial amount. I was like na na na, I'll not give him a single penny. He needs to learn his lesson. If he was not with me at my lowest, he doesn't deserve me at my best.

 

[DoublePepperoni]

Maybe something in the middle? You could try sending a "hey jsyk im alive. we dont gotta be friends if you dont/ i dont wanna be friends though" text (formatted more earnestly obv) just to be polite.

 

[SASU-KE]

Send them a message. Reach out and try to patch things.Sometimes people are going through difficult times and they are unavailable. Maybe the storm passes later on. Sometimes people rekindle a friendship after 10 years, 20 years and become best friends again.

 

[kipper]

send a message if you want to

 

[hihi2027]

send a message if you want to

we'll see. It's been a long time and all times feel like a lifetime ago. Based on what I've seen so far, they're still struggling mentally. I don't think I can help them (I mean, look where I'm posting this...) but, at least I can clear up the matter.

Or maybe just let it pass. I'm honestly just thinking of flipping a coin at this point.

 

[SASU-KE]

I'm honestly just thinking of flipping a coin at this point.

Fine, let the gods decide!


Sorry, I've been watching A Knight of the Seven Kingdoms.

 

[never mind me]

I am a bit confused about OPs post: You wrote that your online friend abandoned you, but you also wrote that he thought you had died. I mean it's no surprise he doesn't contact you independently of your online community, if he thinks you are dead. So as I understand it, it is possible that he left the online community on purpose, but would have stayed in contact with you, if he knew you were still alive. So I think, if it is a person you like you don't have anything to lose by contacting him. It might be a bit akward, but maybe he is actually happy to learn you are still alive. And if he doesn't respond you aren't any worse off than you are now.

 

[hihi2027]

I am a bit confused about OPs post: You wrote that your online friend abandoned you, but you also wrote that he thought you had died. I mean it's no surprise he doesn't contact you independently of your online community, if he thinks you are dead. So as I understand it, it is possible that he left the online community on purpose, but would have stayed in contact with you, if he knew you were still alive. So I think, if it is a person you like you don't have anything to lose by contacting him. It might be a bit akward, but maybe he is actually happy to learn you are still alive. And if he doesn't respond you aren't any worse off than you are now.

I read what @ctb_warrior have said; if you get abandoned by someone, just leave it be. There is a lot I left out in this post that I'm not going to mention. Let's just say this wasn't the first time they abandoned everyone like this. It's their right to leave if they want, of course. Everyone has to move on and honestly, they had mental issues that most definetly affected their actions. It's just the way they did it was not the best and made me question my self worth as a person. Do I want to be disapppointed again?