What keeps you going in this dull, bleak existence?

[elderDrifter]

For me, I try to comfort myself with the fact "it will be over soon". At least it would be if I had what it took to follow through on my methods.

I also try to achieve comfort when writing my suicide note. It helps in a way to get it all out there, even if I have to revise or restart it several times like I have had to already. It's slightly therapeutic.

Music also helps, even if listening to it feels like a time sink, and I end up feeling empty or guilty afterwards.

 

[Time4Peace]

I have my stuff ready just in case, and one day, once I had too much of this place, I know I have a way how to go. The fear of doing the CTB is stopping me I guess.

 

[FuneralCry]

In my case I'm only still trapped here as I was so harmfully forced into this existence that I never would have chosen without the option to easily die in peace. Existence is such a hellish, harmful imposition, it's extreme cruelty to me how one cannot just choose to never wake again. In my case I see no point in suffering in this undesirable existence when the peace of death solves everything, I'd always prefer to not exist no matter what, existence truly is so undesirable. Really wish peaceful methods like Nembutal are accessible, what I'd also fear is trying to die going wrong and leading to way worse agony.

 

[Irrelevant biologist]

That is a good question. I have a family I guess I am afraid to let down. I go through every day motions trying to act normal. Don't want them to know I'm messed up.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Adderall

 

[SilentSadness]

Nothing keeps me going. For me, every day is suffering. There's nothing I can do to change anything sadly, it's locked in this way. I can try to distract myself, but it's useless.

 

[sserafim]

Fear of failing ctb and ending up with permanent damage

 

[4am]

don't have any reliable methods yet

 

[Eudaimonic]

The fact that I am presently unable to CTB. I have no way to access reliable methods, and nowhere to do them.
I've not yet written a note either, which I plan to do beforehand.
Also, the prospect of failure does scare me quite a lot.

 

[divinemistress36]

Food, dogs, sleep

 

[Agon321]

My imagination.

Most of the time I am in another reality.
My own.
Yes, I know, I sound a bit schizophrenic.
My current reality simply doesn't excite me, so I'm looking for other solutions.

Of course, my lovely SI protects me from CTB.
Fortunately, my imagination allows me to survive time until I grow mental balls.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The slim chance that I'll one day find happiness and true love like I'm the protagonist of some sort of sappy romance story.

That and video games.