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Feb 28, 2022
Uncertainty... I don't feel as bad today because I haven't left my house to be triggered by people treating me poorly like I'm the devil. So I feel okay. But I know that if I leave my house... it'll push me to suicide. If I had a lot of money I'd have SN right here having the option to leave at any time. I just feel like everything is odd. Seems like everyone is talking in code. Why can't people just say what they're thinking? then at least I can defend myself...


Gnothi Seauton
Aug 8, 2022
Heartbroken.. My girlfriend broke up with me.. She couldnt be with me anymore.. She missed the person I used to be and no longer am ever since I became suicidal..
This happened to me too. Only it was my wife that divorced me. I empathize with your heartache.
My strongest emotion today would be loneliness. I feel I don't have enough contact with people such as, hugs or long convoersations. Anybody else experiencing a strong emotion they want to talk about?
Not sure if it’s an emotion or not but I feel an emptiness, that lets me feel the ebbing and flow of my emotions that are not strong but just noticeable. It’s like a calm before a storm. Realizing this as I type it, makes me feel apprehensive for what kind of storm I’m going to be dealing with.
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Forever Sleep

Earned it we have...
May 4, 2022
Worried and in limbo. My current freelance job has come to an end. Need to find more work now- and realistically, it ought to be a more stable job. Also need to see my parents- who I haven't seen in years, so can't take anything on for a few weeks. Dreading it all to be honest. Sorry for the rant.


Constant speed of light, sea at eventide.
Nov 8, 2022
Thinking bout death somehow gives me a better mental state dunno why.
Earlier this week I had a load of stuff about coursework and socialising to concern about, my bio clock and metabolism was fucked up and it rendered me unable to do basically anything constructively.
However, seeing the posts about SN method made me feel more relaxed and again at least able to concentrate on my work.
It reminded me of taking the sat test. In retrospect actually my best attempt was made the time I decided to drop my test-score.
Life is like an SAT, right?
Should you know you can drop your score you're never afraid
That deathly ideas come to me upon every depression outbreak is what I'm used to... but it was never as strong and as real as it was today.
It made me feel completely differently.
I knew it was something more than a pathological phenomenon...
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Green Destiny

Green Destiny

Life isn't worth the trouble.
Nov 16, 2019
Outright frustration. I didn't start out the day feeling it, it was more from this evening all the way up until Midnight now. Things can never be so simple can they?