What is the reason behind you wanting to CTB?

[tpboy]

For me it's a combination of loosing family and being on lots of physical pain and being disable.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Failure in life (which mainly means financial problems and decrease of life quality). I want to prevent myself from further suffering which seems to be inevitable in the society we are forced to live in. In my case I see CTB as self-care but unfortunately it's not that easy even with the most peaceful method, if it was available.

 

[doneforlife]

Failure in life (which mainly means financial problems and decrease of life quality). I want to prevent myself from further suffering which seems to be inevitable in the society we are forced to live in. In my case I see CTB as self-care but unfortunately it's not that easy even with the most peaceful method, if it was available.

CTB as self care !

 

[alienoforces]

poor physical health, no motivation to move forward in life, severe ptsd from years of abuse and other various life events. I'm just miserable, and i don't see the point in living if this is how it's meant to be for me. i am constantly in pain physically and i am so unbearably lonely it tears me apart sometimes. the list could go on forever. why would i willingly keep struggling if i know there's an easy way out? i have nothing to lose and nothing to gain and i wouldn't be in anyone's way anymore. I want to do it for the peace.

 

[doneforlife]

I think, for someone to want to live, there are few things that need to be in order. A good support system of family and friends, good finances , good health. Anyone who wishes to not continue anymore lacks in any of the above directly or indirectly. There are very few who struggle with existential crisis, the never ending monotony of life, but the larger part belong to the first category.

 

[the_path_of_sorrows]

I've chosen the wrong road. Every single day is filled with self hatred and pleading for gods to finally finish it all, has been this way for 7 years. And I want to escape my cptsd, those memories that seem to haunt every single step and paranoia as a part of me. I want to be free of this, even if it means destroying my physical body in the process.

Who fights with monsters, often becomes the monster. That terrible darkness inside of me has to be killed, and I don't care about the costs.

 

[tristis_melodiam]

Loneliness and depression

 

[FuneralCry]

Ultimately it's because I don't see existence as desirable, having the ability to exist as a conscious being is something so burdensome, futile and tiresome. And I see suicide as a rational solution to escape from and prevent all future unnecessary suffering in an existence I never wished for in the first place, I only wish for a dreamless and eternal sleep where all is forgotten about.

 

[leavingthesoultrap]

Ultimately it's because I hate social interaction. Can't do it due to being autistic. Can't find remote work or work with no interaction.

 

[Lost cherry]

Breaking up

 

[Life_and_Death]

the human race

 

[Darkover]

brain injury, tinnitus, decayed teeth, dislocated shoulder and damaged stomach lining

 

[mia_qwerty]

I'm in living hell. Had a serious trauma 2 years ago leading to an emotional, nervous, mental breakdown, a spiritual crisis, existential crisis. Lost the ability to sleep so suffered immensely. Panic attacks every day. Brain snapping. Crippling CPTSD. Lost my home, life, job, friends, ability's. Can't deal with the loss. Need out asap but terrified to do it.

Struggling to find a method. I'm broken and have no path to recovery.

I absolutely loved my life before the trauma. I was a singer songwriter just beginning to blossom and had amazing friends and family. Lives in my dream place with amazing community. Had quite the life ahead of me. I can't bare that I lost it.

 

[GlutenFreeCat]

Can't get over past trauma. Hate myself something fierce no matter how hard I try and no matter what resources I seek out to cope in a "healthy" way. I've never really felt happy about myself or life in general.

 

[MBG]

Diagnosed with an incurable disease that will get very ugly in a few years or less….

 

[mia_qwerty]

Diagnosed with an incurable disease that will get very ugly in a few years or less….

Sorry to hear that. Are you in pain? Do you not have hope that maybe you can heal it? But I imagine you want you escape route ready incase

 

[carnivalforone]

loneliness

 

[straydog]

Guilt and shame. I love my fiancé so much, he's truly my entire world, but I keep failing him. I struggle with alcoholism and have been slowly healing, I'm so much better than I used to be but I'm not consistently sober yet. I'm not myself when I drink and he gets so frustrated and angry with me - and he's completely right to do so. I've hurt the one person I love so deeply because of my drinking and I'm trying to get better but I just keep fucking up. The guilt I feel is destroying me and I don't think it'll ever fade, even if I get sober. I will never be able to live with myself.

 

[nightmare_moon]

I've never felt like I owned my life, my body, or my future. I live solely because it would inconvenience someone if I were to CTB. I've had no goals or aspirations to push me forward beyond the desire to make the people close to me live happily and comfortably. I enjoy making people happier, I really do, but at some point I'd like to make my own decisions without it hurting someone else.

 

[kittyswift]

i think the thing that tips me over the edge is how incompetent the mental health services i have accessed are. i have tried for a long time to improve my life, but ultimately nothing i do works and the services that are supposed to help me just make things worse. they get my hopes up by offering different things but they never follow through and cant give me the support i once asked for. now im just pretty hopeless and looking to prevent more years and years of suffering for myself

 

[Copier0997]

Divorcing the woman I moved to a foreign country for, now I'm isolated and alone in a rural village in a country notorious for being difficult for making friends (not that I was any good at that in my native country). The house we bought last year and spent a year renovating a still isn't finished needs to be sold, at a huge loss. I never wanted to buy it but was too cowardly to speak my mind.

Compared to some people, it doesn't seem that bad. These are solvable problems. I tell myself, it could always be worse. I'm just waiting for the next bad thing. I just want some fucking relaxation after 2 years of stress and worry. I don't think I want to die, I just a break.

 

[MBG]

Sorry to hear that. Are you in pain? Do you not have hope that maybe you can heal it? But I imagine you want you escape route ready incase

No pain. Best hope is misdiagnoses.

By a fluke I decided to look up on Wiki what disease a celebrity had that drove them to ctb. I then looked up its symptoms and noticed I had 3 of its unusual ones in the past year. Contacted my doc and he said that disease wouldn't be his first guess. But a specialist said I was right. Time will tell.

 

[cyandude]

Mine's existential anguish, directionlessness, chronic misery and incapacity in general. life sucks for real

 

[qw3rty259]

Physical health problem that is causing chronic pain to me. I'm full of envy due to this and tired. In other words, it broke my whole personality too, I don't feel like myself anymore. There's nothing lovable left about me now.

 

[Celerity]

loneliness & general malaise

Life just isn't that great. Pleasure is fleeting, people are fickle, and nothing is free.

 

[killmepleasefast]

i have failed in everything in my life !! failure

 

[numbed one]

For me it's a combination of loosing family and being on lots of physical pain and being disable.

Schizophrénia and jobless

 

[SpencerSees]

It's a lot of different factors. Not being able to hold onto relationship, religious guilt, constant derealization etc. Current "favourite" thought is never being able to join the military as a man, because i ain't a man. Not a real one anyways

 

[Waiting for death]

Hopelessness and lack of meaning to live.

 

[annointed_towers]

I blasphemed in a moment of rage and have been cursed by God