What is holding you back from ctb right now

[Fadeawaaaay]

Lack of motivation to do anything at all.

 

[onlyanimalsaregood]

My cat

 

[thedaywillcome]

Just SI, idiotic SI. For me its torture.

 

[forgotten15]

It's fear of what may come after death. The unknown scares me so much.

 

[SingleSeraph]

My twin brother for sure.

 

[Red Scare]

My husband, he knows what I've decided, I already bought sn and medicines, I just need a day when he's not home. I love him dearly and don't want him to hurt, but I can't bare existing in this world no more

That's a contradiction. You love him, but you don't want him to hurt. There is no way this isn't going to hurt him deeply, traumatized him even.

 

[Graytaichi]

In order of significance:

1. I don't have good means or a set plan yet
2. CTB before moving out of my parents' house would cause them unnecessary trauma
3. Part of me still clings to a mirage of hope

Things will get better , u never known. My mum has stage 4 breast cancer and the cancer cellls has materialised ,means im not going to ctb yet ,i domt want to deal a huge blow to her. Im living in hell already

 

[symphony]

Things will get better , u never known. My mum has stage 4 breast cancer and the cancer cellls has materialised ,means im not going to ctb yet ,i domt want to deal a huge blow to her. Im living in hell already

I'm so sorry about your mom's cancer. I recently lost a close loved one to cancer myself and it was terrible to witness.

I'm sure you intend well, but I can no longer believe that "things will get better" even as much as I would like to. If they were likely to spontaneously get better on their own, they would have very likely already done so. And I have tried pretty much every major treatment for my mental illnesses with no success.

 

[Hurt]

Laziness. I'm even too lazy to ctb. And I'm insecure about my method.

 

[Freedomindeath4me]

3 things foiling me - SI to hang or commit suicide using another nasty method [I have tried hanging], package of SN hasn't arrived yet and American but cannot obtain a gun.

 

[I need peace]

That's a contradiction. You love him, but you don't want him to hurt. There is no way this isn't going to hurt him deeply, traumatized him even.

Yes, I understand that and I feel so tired from this life but don't want to hurt him

 

[FuneralCry]

I am only still alive as suicide is so difficult, for me there is the lack of peaceful and reliable way to exit and the fear of failure. I wish that we lived in a world where our right to die is respected and then we could just pass away peacefully when the time is right for us, it is cruel to expect people to suffer for decades against their wishes. I am very tired of living and there is nothing that could ever make me want to stay alive, I just want non existence.

 

[Red Scare]

Yes, I understand that and I feel so tired from this life but don't want to hurt him

So don't hurt him.

 

[Dot]

S.i.

 

[xo777]

Did you call for help to survive or just wait it out?

The first time I ended up crawling to my dad's room lol and the second time I attempted in my car (overdose) I didn't want anyone in my family to be mad at the time so I I ended up just going outside of my car and i'm assuming I just passed out after a few minutes. The patrolling officer noticed.

 

[Treeline589]

S.I. I have everything I need

 

[bluedreamscape]

I don't want to hurt my dad and sister. It will ruin their lives

 

[thefoodispoison]

There is currently Nothing stopping me from CTB'ing, My best friend Max The Staffie Passed away a month ago and l don't know why I haven't left yet, unless it's the hope that l might get my housemate and friend into bed, she's seriously beautiful and proper sexy!

If all it would take is getting laid, are you sure you're ready to go?

 

[that_guy2611]

Fear of failing and/or being found. I've been sitting on N for almost 4 years and I keep backing out because of it.

 

[NotSureToEndure]

Those who love me.. and I should count myself very lucky I have them. I do really. I'm just not happy in my body and my mind and i'm struggling tbh. I sometimes wish there was a way just to disconnect yourself from the world and make everyone forget about you. I guess someone will always be impacted when you've had or have relationships in this world.

 

[amygdala]

I'm overthinking it. I get sucked into this idea that, if I keep thinking about it, I will have some grand realization where everything falls into place and it will be easy and natural to proceed from there. This leads me to endlessly think in circles.

 

[TheYounger]

Hope.

 

[MatthewV3]

Survival instinct and fear of failure and permanent damage.

 

[ColorlessTrees]

1. Abnormal attachment to something stupid
2. Laziness/lack of means because I live in close quarters with family
3. Irrational fear of afterlife
4. I don't trust myself not to fuck things up.
5. Survival Instinct

 

[Pallf]

Old reasons: family, online friends, church members, therapist.
New reason: made a friend at university.
I don't want to feel guilt about doing that to them and I have no idea how to push all of them away from me emotionally.
Silly reason: I'm a huge sonic fangirl and frontiers hasn't come out yet.

 

[Capsicum_Corral]

I understand that. I stopped crying about a year ago and I worked to feel less emotion. I hope your suffering is lessened no matter how that happens.

It's been a lot longer for me. Could probably dredge all that pain up again if I tried, but I prefer not feeling awful. When you're in it though, it feels like it will never end. I think the worst of it kind of burned itself out after 5 years or so, then I was able to distance myself a bit from trash fire my life had become. But both physical and mental pain can be pretty effective at holding your attention.

Now it's like I'm sitting on the edge of the hole I was in and experiencing some amusement at how absurd life as a modern human can be.

 

[Ecka-26]

Just Failing with the SN method.

 

[Xta4Love]

Was going to CTB today. But my mum called me up and I decided to answer the call and I confessed what I had planned. I still dont know why. I felt very alone with the biggest decision to make. Live or die. Now I feel like an idiot. Im still alive and have to face another day. The mornings are the hardest

 

[Rogue_R]

There's nothing holding me back. I just haven't found a place where I can do everything without interference.

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

Jurassic World Dominion, which comes out in exactly two months.

There's a few other movies/games I want to experience that are coming out later this year but I can take or leave some of them.