Discussion What do you think about before you go to sleep?

[odradek]

Almost every night for years I've wished that I would not wake up the next morning. Wishing has been unsuccessful thus far surprisingly. Either that or some embarassing mistake I made today or 10 years ago. Or all of the above.

 

[Kobusu]

Usually I just lie there thinking about all the different ways I could and/or would like to kill myself, until my tricyclic kicks in and I'm so tired I literally cannot think.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

It depends. Sometimes I can think about good things, such as friends or animals. Oftentimes I think about my life in general and suicide, death.

 

[needingpeace24]

her

 

[deletednumber]

I relate with most of your answers...I usually start to feel fear ... I cry a little and hug me alone trying to calm down, I often suffer from insomnia or if I sleep I often have very bad nightmares and I wake up badly the next day, I try to sleep as much as possible because my life with depression is awful

 

[Belljar]

Dying and the abuse I've suffered that I put up with.

 

[Thequietone]

Can't sleep on back so I lay on my back and meditate for some long amount of time. Meaning I don't really ruminate about anything, just noting whatever sensations occur. Ofc some thoughts come, but they are related to meditating or just seen as objects of meditation.

If I think about anything it's the same as during the day. Just the same shit over and over again. "Should I kms?" "When?" "How can I survive another year?" "Can my life change at all?" "Let's compare myself to others..." "List everything wrong with society..." "Let's go over hard determinism again." "Tfw no gf." "Let's go through what randos said online that triggered me despite the fact that I know that they are wrong/incomplete in their analysis." "Okay, let's review religions/atheism for the 10000th time..." "Wouldn't it be cool if this happened? Wait, why are you crying?"

I hope to die in my sleep, would be beautiful. I don't look forward to another day, I just don't care about my life and goals in general.

 

[avoid_slow_death]

How much I miss my ex and her little girl. After decades of misery and loneliness I finally had the happy little family I always dreamed of. Not anymore. All I have now is ideation every waking moment.