there will be nothing on the other side and i don't assume there is. my death would not give me any relief and i know i would suffer up until the end and simply erase my own consciousness, but i can have the relief as i go knowing that i prevented myself from wasting more years of my life in endless mental suffering, and that i saved the world from having to protect and provide for another lazy useless invalid who doesn't want to do anything and can't fit into normal society.