all this is my opinion
i'm glad after Death is non-existence forever. 1 microsecond after my brain dies i will never exist again.
but that doesn't help me while i'm still alive. while alive or existing i can suffer so badly the suffering or pain is a billion times worse than the worst one can imagine. while i continue to live just to watch a garbage "enjoyable" clickbait video i can fall into a hell that's a trillion times worse than anyone could imagine even a million times worse than the oubliette torture
this is one reason why i cannot even relate to one other human. to me the constant worst pain outweighs any pleasurable feeling by a billion times. someone like me thinking in such a manner would be every second terrified of life or living and this world and would want to escape it asap.
that's only a little of why i need to kill myself very soon to skip over any extreme torture to the safety perfection and ultimate bliss of eternal Non-Existence.
A dark and terrifying dungeon, the oubliette was used to hold prisoners indefinitely. Learn more about its sinister history.
www.historydefined.net
another reason i can't relate to any other human out of many is that i'm
sure of what i and a human is and that evolution is true and that there is no afterlife or reincarnation. i believe a human is just another animal, cells , chemical reactions a machine. if you believe evolution is true how can one think there is an afterlife . there are no details of any afterlife or soul. but just a very few things : why is there no evidence of a soul or afterlife? and when was the soul added in evolution , how , why and for what reason and by what was it added ? was it added when our ancestors were a cell, a worm , a fish, a rodent , a monkey , an ape ? do chimpanzees have a soul do monkeys does a cell ? no. neither does a human
does a single cell animal like an amoeba or the first cell that is our ancestor have a soul? how could it as it's machine.
all cells including human cells like brain cells have the same fundamental machines like DNA, ribosomes, ATP, RNA
, the same Genetic code and many more. removing any of these would make the cell unfunctional so to me these are the same thing and proves that all life descended from that first cell . the neuron or brain cell in a fly , a mouse and human are almost identical having all these machines. ( anyone can copy and paste this paragraph into internet search or ai and see that this is true).
there's much more to these and other whys i believe completely different from other humans on the fundamentals of reality many of which i never even want to write here.